This is the day I send all my doubts and demons on their way.
I've never thought that things could reveal themselves so quickly...that everything that had been leading up to a major event would all of the sudden make horrible sense to both parties involved. I never would have thought that I could forgive someone and give that person a second chance, despite the fact that he hurt me so much. Initially, I didn't want to give him another chance, because how did I know that he would change for the better? But then after talking to him for a while, I realized that he truly does want to change, not only for himself, but for me. He really does feel awful about what he did, and maybe that's why he, being the old-fashioned gentleman he is, admitted the horrible to me and allow me to decide our fate. I think that ultimately, I decided to give him another chance because no one has ever made me feel the way he makes me feel, no one has ever made me feel that beautiful and that loved, no one has ever respected me as much as he does, and now, I can't even imagine my life without him.
For all the good he has done me in the last month, I think he is allowed one fuck-up. And although the fuck-up was a little bigger than I would have liked, this has really allowed us to tell each other how we truly feel. True, I am going to have to tighten the leash a little on him, and I'm not going to be able to trust him on certain things, but he's so willing to work with me on regaining my trust and changing his ways that I want to give him another chance.
Some of you may be saying, "Kelsey, you're just setting yourself up for another downfall" and I know that that could be what happens. But this time, there's something different about this whole situation. I can't exactly name it, but I can feel it, and that's what has made this different from every other relationship gone wrong.
I also thought I should let you know, I'm scared, too.
For all the good he has done me in the last month, I think he is allowed one fuck-up. And although the fuck-up was a little bigger than I would have liked, this has really allowed us to tell each other how we truly feel. True, I am going to have to tighten the leash a little on him, and I'm not going to be able to trust him on certain things, but he's so willing to work with me on regaining my trust and changing his ways that I want to give him another chance.
Some of you may be saying, "Kelsey, you're just setting yourself up for another downfall" and I know that that could be what happens. But this time, there's something different about this whole situation. I can't exactly name it, but I can feel it, and that's what has made this different from every other relationship gone wrong.
I also thought I should let you know, I'm scared, too.