Getting Life In Gear! >o
Wing and Live Journal
About a month ago, I gave an online friend, “Wing,” my Live Journal URL. He went back and read a number of my old entries and later suggested that I go back and read them myself. After doing so, I was feeling very nostalgic reminiscing my past. ^^ I began thinking of how important my live journal actually is; that it’s a record of my life, not only for entertainment and for my connection to friends, but for myself. I don’t want to forget the troubles I’ve gone through, the happy times I’ve had, all the things that make me who I am. ‘_’ -so I’ve decided to make an effort to be more active in this activity. ‘_’ Back around the time I started, I wrote whatever came to mind, but in the later entries, I tried forcing myself into the habit of “I can’t post on my Live Journal unless I post a drawing too,” but then got so caught up in wanting to post things that are much more than “doodles” that I ended up not posting for a while. I’ll stop doing that; it’s like what Wing told me, “that’s what deviant art is for.” I can post whatever I want on my journal, right? So- I’ll post whatever doodles happen and what comes to my mind. ^-^
Still trying to design Noel from the Princess Red story. ._.
Yuu drew this for me as fanart for PrincessRed! XD I'm so flattered and happy! T-T
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RO and getting life “in gear!”
Casey really loves Ragnarok Online; it’s almost the only video game he plays but he works so hard and long that he barely has time for it anymore. A few months ago, he got me into RO again- but not just “into it,” but pretty much “re-addicted.” ^^; I met him on RO for the first time years ago so it’s kind of “our game” and he wanted me to come back. Even though I wasn’t playing every day after my “re-addiction,” I thought about it pretty often such as in equipment preparation, skill planning, etc. In the back of my mind, I’ve been feeling upset at myself because I haven’t been taking full advantage of the freedom I currently have to strive ahead with my dreams and my goals. I want to be successful, proud of myself, and to feel accomplished. After Taiwan, I’ve been going to bed and waking up late, sleeping too long, and not doing enough in the day other than chores. I’ve told Casey that I want to change and that I want to pursue my goals and to be accomplished. I set out a plan of goals but wasn’t able to follow them. I was feeling like a failure and a screw-up because even if I did accomplish anything, the things I mess up on always seem to have a larger impact than things I DO get right.
One night, I was close to crying myself to sleep, but Casey noticed and cheered me up. I told him that I’ll work hard to change, but I ended up staying up till 4am on Ragnarok Online the following night. Casey said that he was very disappointed in me. It’s gotten to the point in which whatever I say doesn’t matter anymore; I may say that I’ll get better but I’ve said that so many times that I’d completely understand if nobody believed in me. Even though he loves me, he put it clearly that he only has so much tolerance. I know it doesn’t matter if no one else believes in you as long as you believe in yourself, but it still really hurts when it’s one of the most important people to you in the world telling you that they’ve lost trust in you. It’s good for me though because then it will hit me harder so that I can be true to myself and strive harder for what I want in life now!
I decided that night to quit RO until after I’ve gotten my life in gear. I’m not sure when that will be but I feel that I’ll know when it has reached that point. I told Casey this but he said that I don’t need to quit and that I just needed some self control. I myself think it’s necessary for me to quit though because even when I wasn’t playing RO, I still thought about RO too much when I could have been thinking about art, new techniques, ideas, comics/manga, and planning. Quiting might be harder than it sounds. ‘_’ I’ve been a bit lonely since coming to LA and I made a number of good friends on RO and sometimes I really want to play and/or hang out with them, but I’m going to be adamant.
I wrote my goals on a sheet of paper and posted it on the wall; I think I’ve been doing pretty well. I got my sleeping schedule in order: I go to bed at about 1am and wake up at around 9am. I worked for a couple of days trying to learn Adobe Go Live (through tutorials) for my website. I gave up afterwards and tried going with a simple format but Casey says it looks terrible so I still have a long way to go. XD I’ve been drinking about two cups of water every two hours and it’s helped me with my skin problem immensely! =o I don’t plan or think about RO equipment anymore and am more focused on my Princess Red and Fisherman projects. ‘_’ I’ve been drawing more.
There’s still a lot more to go, but I’ll get there.
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Casey’s mom and the dogs
Casey’s mom passed away soon after Christmas day. It was really tough for Casey and he cried a lot. When I see him think about his mom, it makes me feel so sad for him that my eyes begin to tear. I love him so much and I hate having to see him go through so much sadness.
Casey’s mom really loved pets so she had two dogs, two cats, and a parakeet. We found the parakeet a home and took in the two dogs, but we don’t know what to do with the cats since I have bad allergies to them. I drive an hour and a half’s time with Casey’s friend to Casey’s mom’s house two times a week to feed and clean up after the cats. ‘_’ I’m a bit surprised that my allergies are okay with the dogs but not with the cats; I’m fine with the dogs as long as I avoid their licks and wash my hands after petting them. I didn’t always have allergies to pets, I actually used to have a number of cats, but that’s a different story. >.>
I was generally more of a cat person, but taking care of dogs has kind of grown on me a bit. It’s very different from taking care of cats because dogs seem to have so much more energy and seem to care more about having you around (at least these dogs do). One is an obese Chihuahua and the other is a German Shepherd. The small one is a bit of an attention hog/brat, but I think he’s getting better and the big one is seems like a big puppy. ^^ The biggest downside about taking care of them though is when they bark at the simplest things like birds on the telephone wires or the sound of a cat outside, etc. @_@ and when the big one tries to lick me. They also follow me around when I have food and the big one breaths into my face sometimes with his “dog breath.” >.<
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The New York experience
I think it was the 6th of March when Casey and I set off for New York XD Casey had work to do there and he thought maybe it was a good chance for the two of us to go together on a trip since the company was paying for his ticket. We were thinking of it as grand adventure since we’ve never seen the infamous city/state. =o Before going to New York, New York, we had to go to Rochester, New York since that was where his work was at. It was snowing and surprisingly very farmland-ish. It was neat seeing so much snow!~ XD It wasn’t deep, but it was all around. ^^; Rochester looked very much like those stereotypically old Christmas cards you see with snow, bare trees, and houses with big flat yards. =o I guess it’s hard to explain. ._.
We couldn’t go to New York, New York by plane when his work was done due to complications and it was my idea to drive there after hearing that the drive was six hours which turned out being about eight hours in the end for us. ._. It rained heavily and was foggy. It was already dark when we got to New York city and the traffic was horrible. -_- Getting into New York was interestingly surreal because the outer “slums” (according to Casey) looked like they were straight out of a B budget movie set or out of a theme park ride. >.> New York had a dank, dark atmosphere with a crookedly kind of look and road ramps and bridges going all different ways; a patchwork city. We went through at least eight toll booths with fees from one to around eight dollars each on our way from New York City to New Jersey where our hotel was. It’s like there’s a toll for every bridge or tunnel you go through! @_@ Toll booths slowed down traffic a lot. In the end, the only time we spent in New York City was the following morning from 10:30am to I think about 3pm when we had to rush to the air port for our plane. ^^ We had some awesome pizza! XD
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Missing San Jose/Taiwan
I went back to and stayed in San Jose from March 9th to the twelfth. It was nice. ^-^ I got to spend quality time with my mom, my brother, an aunt, cousins, and my grandparents. I was planning to spend time with my friend “Nemuren,” but unfortunately, he was at work; he called me though so it’s all cool! ^.^ I miss hanging out with him and hearing his witty talk. @_@ -really miss it. T-T I felt like I got a lot of errands done and felt relaxed at the same time!~ XD -nicely paced. =D
For quite a while since after I moved to LA, I’ve been missing Taiwan. I look at the trees and fields (if I happen to pass by them) and think how dry and barren everything seems. ‘_’ Even when the trees are in full bloom, they don’t have the strong green color the plants have in Taiwan, they also aren’t as plentiful either. ._. It feels like I’m homesick for Taiwan, the way it looks, the way it smells, its liveliness, and how I knew the area of Taipei city well enough to go where I wanted with no problems. XD
I don’t regret moving to LA though, I’m happy being with Casey. ^-^ He gives me so much happiness and direction in life. I once had a dream that I returned to Taiwan, but I kept asking myself in the dream why I was there and that I had no reason to be back in Taiwan. I think maybe I subconsciously was regretting the idea of parting with Casey. I wonder though if I’ll ever go back to Taiwan. I hope so… -speaking of Taiwan, my cousin said that there’re five doujin-cons annually at Taipei University in Taiwan! >O I really want to go to them. T-T
After going to New York then straight to San Jose, I was blown away by how pretty California actually is!~ XD I don’t think I really took it for granted before because I do “stop to smell the roses” sometimes, but in comparison- wow! >.< -so green -so open -so pretty. ;_;
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Fanimecon’08
High school friends Yuu, Nemuren, and …Kelvin… are planning on having a get-together at this year’s fanimecon! XD It sounds like fun! =D -though Nemuren is planning on cosplaying and Kel with his girlfriend might too (which I strongly think they should =o). I wonder if Yuu will cosplay. I really think he should. ._. -but if everyone cosplays, does that mean I need to cosplay too? >.> I’m always for the idea of having others cosplay because it looks like fun, but when it comes to myself… I don’t know. >.>
Oh! I know! Maybe I’ll just go as a big cardboard box robot!~ yeah~ XD
Maybe…
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Vocaloid
I read about this a while ago, but it was my brother that pointed out its coolness!~ XD Vocaloid is a computer program for composing music but it also synthesizes voice pretty well (for a computer program ^^). Each voice in the program is represented by an illustration of a character. Apparently, one particular character by the name of Hatsune Miku has gotten really famous and has become somewhat of an online idol! XD She’s even starring in a Nintendo DS game by Digital Works Entertainment that “teaches people how to play instruments” called 13-sai no Hello Work DS. =D
The idea: Caramelldansen
Click to viewMany of you’ve probably seen this online by now. XD I think this is the original clipping looped; my brother told me that the original animation lasted for only about one and a half seconds. The dance and song have gotten pretty popular and has been combined with the Vocaloid mascot and other infamous characters from Haruhi Suzumiya to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. For those short on time, after you’ve seen the first few seconds of this, you’ll have an idea of what to expect for the rest of the two minutes of the video. XD
Vocoloid+Caramelldansen
Graffiti Kingdom
Graffiti Kingdom (released in the US 07/28/05) for PS2 is an action/adventure game that lets you draw characters for you to play as. XD It’s a good game! I’ve seen this for sale at gamestop for like fifteen dollars. =D It’s time consuming to create your characters though and takes some getting used to. ‘_’ This player’s a master. >.> He creates super super amazing creations of game and anime characters/objects.
There are more super Graffiti Kingdom artists. If any of you want more links, just say so. ^.-
One of the AWESOMEST things I’ve seen in a while!~ XD
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BAAU Down 7!? =o
I’ve been checking out the BAAU forum lately and found out that there’s a BAAU Down 7 in the works. =O I thought that BAAU Down 6 was supposed to be the last one! It turns out that people still want to do it so now it’s being run by other BAAU members and has more submission restrictions to up the quality of the anthology (an awesome thing too because the quality of BD’s were going down due to a growing number of last minute “I don’t know what to draw” rush entries @_@). The due date was back in January, but there apparently aren’t enough entries so the deadline has been pushed back to April. >.> I inquired about how it was going and I think I might be able to submit something! XD I have two weeks so I think I can do it! >O
Think I’ll do a new one about a ghost train or maybe redo the one I scrapped earlier. ‘_’