this is not a cry for sympathy its something i need to get out of me
on august 10th i started what was a planned family trip. we went to michigan to see my step dads family and then it was to kansas 3 days later to see my family. while in michigan we went out to dinner with michael's (my stepdad) family. in the restruant i sorta sat at the end because i was feeling alittle down because i was thinking of brandon. stacy (michaels brothers wife) came over and was asking me what was wrong. so i told her about my friend and what happened and then i began to cry in the restruant. i was over whelmed with emotion and i couldnt hold it back. i cried my eyes out that night. i miss brandon so much and it hurts to think that he is gone. that was thursday night. the next day my grandfather passed away. my grandfather was a saint. i loved him more than anything and would give anything to be in his place. that night my mom flew to kansas and i flew in the next day. after having plane trouble and being stuck at the airport for about 5 hours i finally get to wichita. i came the day i was suppose to but instead of going to spend as much time with my grandfather as possible he was gone. i get off the plane and get my luggage and my uncles and instead of taking me home they take me to the mortuary. i was in town a half hour and i was taking to the mortuary to see my grandfathers body. so i walk into the room and there he was. laying there not in a suit but still in his hospital gown. i began to cry hystarically. i walked up and looked him in the face. i saw the glue used to glue his eyes and mouth shut shimmer in the light and i couldnt take it. i turned to get out of the room but my mom stopped me and made me go back to say goodbye. so i turned and walked back and placed my hand on his shoulder and told him that i loved him more than anything and will miss him a great deal. then i said goodbye and ran out of the room. that night there was a party at the house. i wasnt very happy with the extended family because here there are at my grandfathers house havent a party and they didnt bring food. my grnadmather and aunt had to cook for everyone. the next day the same thing happened except this time they brought some food. tuesday was the service. i wore the same suit that i wore to brandons funeral. it was exactly 3 weeks after brandon's. after the service we went to the church and had a reception, again my grandmother paid for it. we took the urn home and that night i slept next to my grandfathers ashes. the next day before going to the cemetary my grandmother took my grandfathers ashes through every room in the house while crying. it was one of the hardest things i have ever watched. we went to the grave site and they put the urn in the ground. then everyone took a rose and placed it in the grave. i came home saturday