Look, guys! My lack of common sense made something cool!
Said bacon was accompanied by pancakes that I made from scratch and ate with real maple syrup. It was a monumental taste explosion, I must say. And my lapse of judgement proved fruitful! My expression must have been pretty funny as the cup slowly collapsed, melted by the scalding grease.
What was I thinking? Whatever. Now I have a present! Which I am keeping forever!