Daily Kos: Funny stuff on Roberts
Because it made me laugh
I, Chief Justice John Roberts do solemnly swear,
That I royally fracked up trying to administer the presidential Oath of Office from memory.
That I embarrassed myself and the nation by getting something so simple---something memorized by every boy and girl in, like, second grade---so excruciatingly wrong.
And, in so doing, came within a butt hair of accidentally making Sasha Obama President of the United States.
Not that that would necessarily be a bad thing,
But you have to admit juggling first grade and the presidency might be a bit much for a seven year old.
But I digress.
Most important, I do solemnly swear that four years from now,
When I'm swearing in Barack Obama for a second term,
In fact, any time I'm swearing anybody in for anything,
Whether it's President of the United States or notary public,
I will execute the...no, wait!...I will faithfully execute the Herculean task of doing what Justice John Paul Stevens had the good sense to do, given the gravity of the moment,
By bringing an index card---which I can get a whole pack of for a buck over at The Dollar Store,
On which I will have scribbled, legibly, the words to the Oath of Office.
So that I don't frack up again, unnecessarily reminding the world once more that I am an appointee of former President Bush.
So help me God.
Faithfully.