He was an extremley gifted coach.
Brians wake was today. I went with Kelly. I'm really glad we went together, I don't think I could have made it through with anyone else. In a way it was nice though. There were so many kids there, and I knew that he had changed each one of their lives the same way he had changed mine. He showed me that being a coach was about more than assigning workouts and giving tips. It was about making a connection with people with the same passion that you have. It was about knowing each and every kid as if they were the only one on the team. It was about believing that they could achieve anything. Brian made me the best swimmer I ever was-not just physically, but mentally. He taught me to go the distance and knew exactly how to push me as far as I could go.
At the same time, he was my friend. He knew that there was a time for play. After our team bike ride he joined in with our party. He played pranks on our seniors, he told stories around the campfire. He always put us first. One time at a Saturday practice he spent time teaching us how to do handstands. Another time we played kickball and ultimate frisbee.
People always joke about him and drugs. That is such the wrong idea. Brian had his demons, we all do, and in the end they got the best of him. I wish we could have helped him before they destroyed him. But don't ever assume that he cared about his problems more than us. He put our team first, he put us as indivuidals first. He would never dream of allowing anything to come between him and the people he loved.
One thing at the wake destroyed me though. I thought that seeing him there would finally allow me to believe he is gone. But there was something wrong. As I looked at him, he didn't look peaceful, or finally resting. He didn't look anything like the Brian I knew. I thought about all the memories that I had with him, and why it didn't seem like he was really dead.
He wasn't smiling.
He wasn't laughing.
He wasn't loving.
And thats when I started crying.
And as weird and cliche as it sounds, at that point I realized he wasn't really gone. I know that I will never talk to him again. But he will live on inside of all of us. He was only here for 26 years, but he changed more lives than most people could in 100. He showed me the power I have inside of me, the power we all have inside of us. The only way Brian will truley die, is if we forget what we are capable of and if we ever give anything less than our best.
Thank you Brian, I will never let you die.
xoxo
Steph
At the same time, he was my friend. He knew that there was a time for play. After our team bike ride he joined in with our party. He played pranks on our seniors, he told stories around the campfire. He always put us first. One time at a Saturday practice he spent time teaching us how to do handstands. Another time we played kickball and ultimate frisbee.
People always joke about him and drugs. That is such the wrong idea. Brian had his demons, we all do, and in the end they got the best of him. I wish we could have helped him before they destroyed him. But don't ever assume that he cared about his problems more than us. He put our team first, he put us as indivuidals first. He would never dream of allowing anything to come between him and the people he loved.
One thing at the wake destroyed me though. I thought that seeing him there would finally allow me to believe he is gone. But there was something wrong. As I looked at him, he didn't look peaceful, or finally resting. He didn't look anything like the Brian I knew. I thought about all the memories that I had with him, and why it didn't seem like he was really dead.
He wasn't smiling.
He wasn't laughing.
He wasn't loving.
And thats when I started crying.
And as weird and cliche as it sounds, at that point I realized he wasn't really gone. I know that I will never talk to him again. But he will live on inside of all of us. He was only here for 26 years, but he changed more lives than most people could in 100. He showed me the power I have inside of me, the power we all have inside of us. The only way Brian will truley die, is if we forget what we are capable of and if we ever give anything less than our best.
Thank you Brian, I will never let you die.
xoxo
Steph