Impure Thoughts and Consumeristic Perks
Satan is Real! and he has joined forces with his supposed better half to tempt me with young Pentacostal women. The looong, natural hair, free of chemical additives, the flowing ankle-length skirts, sexier than a thousand pairs of hot pants, the harder-to-get-into-than-a-CIA-briefing essence they dart forth with their mascara-free eyes, knowing full well that the libidinal anguish it causes me makes an eternity of weeping and gnashed teeth a suitable alternative. We didn't have them back in New England, only Catholic schoolgirls galore, where there was no challenge involved as long as you could score some beer. What I want this All Hallow's Eve is an endless sea of young, buxom, Pentacostal women on my doorstep, begging me to rescue them from their disciplined lives into a more tolerant existence where Jesus chain smokes at the Eden Inn, shooting billiards with a shirtless, jovial Buddah, and young women such as themselves would do anything, ANYTHING to repent for being so susceptible to mystical propaganda. I, too, have a dream, and this is one of my own, one in which Dr. King can surely agree with me on as being of pure righteousness, and all shall rejoice.
In other news, I bought a Snapple today, and the underside of the cap to it said that I had won a free 20 oz. Snapple of any flavor. That's 2 for the price of 1! Can ya beat that?
In other news, I bought a Snapple today, and the underside of the cap to it said that I had won a free 20 oz. Snapple of any flavor. That's 2 for the price of 1! Can ya beat that?