Draft I saved 137 weeks ago
I may be being a bit pissy - as usual - but I seem to have too many decisions to handle. I suck at change and deciding and stuff anyway.
My husband has approached me about selling the house a few times. He says it's because Stephen died here and it bothers him to be here. Pooh - I question that, since he has been wanting to sell this house for years, but changing schools = disaster for kids with learning problems, etc. I can't imagine leaving here, not so soon, anyway, since Stephen LIVED here. His memory comforts me, even if I cry when I find an old picture I haven't seen in a while. I don't want strangers here - it still seems a sacred space in some way. Also, we refinanced the house a couple years ago with the goal of building equity and paying it off - selling now, in a poor market at that, would not be smart. Not to mention the extensive repairs it needs to go on the market.
AS IF THAT WEREN'T ENOUGH wicked hubby left his myspace email wide open so when I went to pay bills online there is a pile of letters to his friends (single women who live within a few minutes of here or that he works with, not that that means anything *rolls eyes*) about how he needs to "get a divorce" "get unhitched" and "get rid of the nagging wife" And hell no, I don't feel like a snoop who got what she deserved - he roots through everything on my HDD that he can get his hands on when I'm not home - then makes a worse case scene of it and beats me with it.
I'm sure I can do without his hateful smack-talking ass - I could adjust, I've been jobless and homeless a few times. I prefer to be in on the plan, however. When he ran out and bought a motorcycle when Stevie died, never mind that he has been bitching loudly about getting outta debt for at least 8 years (and the loan for the funeral won't be paid off till Kingdom Come) I knew it was o-ver.
MY POINT IS - STEPHEN HAS ONLY BEEN GONE SINCE MARCH - LET ME GRIEVE, GODDAMMIT
My husband has approached me about selling the house a few times. He says it's because Stephen died here and it bothers him to be here. Pooh - I question that, since he has been wanting to sell this house for years, but changing schools = disaster for kids with learning problems, etc. I can't imagine leaving here, not so soon, anyway, since Stephen LIVED here. His memory comforts me, even if I cry when I find an old picture I haven't seen in a while. I don't want strangers here - it still seems a sacred space in some way. Also, we refinanced the house a couple years ago with the goal of building equity and paying it off - selling now, in a poor market at that, would not be smart. Not to mention the extensive repairs it needs to go on the market.
AS IF THAT WEREN'T ENOUGH wicked hubby left his myspace email wide open so when I went to pay bills online there is a pile of letters to his friends (single women who live within a few minutes of here or that he works with, not that that means anything *rolls eyes*) about how he needs to "get a divorce" "get unhitched" and "get rid of the nagging wife" And hell no, I don't feel like a snoop who got what she deserved - he roots through everything on my HDD that he can get his hands on when I'm not home - then makes a worse case scene of it and beats me with it.
I'm sure I can do without his hateful smack-talking ass - I could adjust, I've been jobless and homeless a few times. I prefer to be in on the plan, however. When he ran out and bought a motorcycle when Stevie died, never mind that he has been bitching loudly about getting outta debt for at least 8 years (and the loan for the funeral won't be paid off till Kingdom Come) I knew it was o-ver.
MY POINT IS - STEPHEN HAS ONLY BEEN GONE SINCE MARCH - LET ME GRIEVE, GODDAMMIT