is my life really this bad...?
I just found out for real just how much debt my mom and I are in...
Look..its fun thinking about these dolls and dreaming about them...Creating little characters that worm their way into my heart and become their own kind of "real".......But, the fact is i may never be able to own even 1% of the dolls I fantasize about. I may never get to hold a real pullip in my hands...
But worst of all...I may never get to go to college, own a car, own my own house, any number of things, unless someting happens for the better. I could easily depart from my mother, because technically the debt is not mine, its my mother's, or we could get jobs, but its just not that simple. There's problems that arise from things like health, and do not involve laziness.
After 23 years of marriage, we found out my dad was cheating with a married woman half his age with four kids, and got her pregnant. Together they put mom and I through hell during the divorce, such as taking things from us and threatening to take the house, and contesting the divorce after it was already final, so we ended up with a $6,700 lawyer bill, among other debts.
My mom had to take a loan out against the house to pay the attorney and other debts, and we were left with a debt against our house of almost $20,000, as well as over $7000 in back property taxes, made steadily worse by my father desperately avoiding paying the amount of support money he's supposed to pay.
My mom is having a hard time finding a job since she hasn't worked for 19 years. She also has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure, and doesn't feel well most of the time. Her medications are keeping her alive, and sometimes its a wonder we can even afford them. Neither of us have medical insurance and cannot afford it, and always hope and pray daily that neither of us need to go to the doctor for anything. I've in fact stopped taking my anti-depression medication, forcing myself to suck it up and deal with it, trying to ignore the fact I may have a chemical imbalance and may truly need the pills (they worked so well, made me so happy...T_T ), simply because a one month supply costs $100.
The furnace in our house doesn't work so its often very cold. Some plumbing needs to be fixed as we only have one working toilet left. Our house is falling apart around us, for example I have a two foot wide hole in my bedroom wall that my father made when I was a child to repair broken pipes that burst because of him in the first place, and the hole was never repaired. Our one car is on its last leg and constantly needs one repair after another.
95% of the clothing I wear is offcolor from years of wear, full of holes, and tattered around all the edges. I cannot afford to buy new clothing. Goodwill and similar stores are our best friends when it comes to clothes, but being a severely overweight person, its actually difficult even then to find clothing that'll fit.
I gained a lot of weight over the many years because of stress and major depression, among other things, and struggle with it everyday. I failed highschool as a result of everything, but I'm working hard to graduate through a high school diploma program. I may not get to go to college to follow my dreams without help. My tuition will cost a grand total of about $63,000.00 for the full three years, plus who knows what in expenses, and I have no idea how I can ever go.
For years now I've ended up giving my mom any birthday/Christmas money I get to help buy food and/or pay bills. And I have been telling her just as long that I don't really want much for birthday/Christmas, that it's okay, but she still manages to get me a little more than I was expecting. I wish for once, that kind of conversation/thinking would never have to happen again. I wish we were debt free, with some wiggle room again, without so many worries that deprive us of sleep and contentedness.
We survive without things like cable, internet, and a working computer. We don't eat out more than maybe once or twice a month, and almost NEVER without a decent coupon. We are not extravagant people, we are simply people who want to be out of debt and live a life that isn't ruled by whether we can afford to feed ourselves or not.
I feel terrible asking for money, and honestly I have my doubts of getting anywhere with this. But I ask of you, PLEASE donate money to me, even if its 5 cents, if a bazillion other people give 5 cents, that adds up. And even if you can't give, please, tell 5 people, and encourage them to tell 5 people, and so on. I have nothing to give in return except the warm fuzzy feeling you helped someone in need. I do have some skills in art, traditional and pixel, and could give you something i draw/pixel. ("But you could do commissions then, with those skills."....I've tried before, and no one will commission me.) I just beg of you, please help me somehow. If you do...you're my personal most favorite person in the world, and you have more thanks from me than I know how to express.
My Paypal Donation Link
Please help me and my mother, God bless you and THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!
Look..its fun thinking about these dolls and dreaming about them...Creating little characters that worm their way into my heart and become their own kind of "real".......But, the fact is i may never be able to own even 1% of the dolls I fantasize about. I may never get to hold a real pullip in my hands...
But worst of all...I may never get to go to college, own a car, own my own house, any number of things, unless someting happens for the better. I could easily depart from my mother, because technically the debt is not mine, its my mother's, or we could get jobs, but its just not that simple. There's problems that arise from things like health, and do not involve laziness.
After 23 years of marriage, we found out my dad was cheating with a married woman half his age with four kids, and got her pregnant. Together they put mom and I through hell during the divorce, such as taking things from us and threatening to take the house, and contesting the divorce after it was already final, so we ended up with a $6,700 lawyer bill, among other debts.
My mom had to take a loan out against the house to pay the attorney and other debts, and we were left with a debt against our house of almost $20,000, as well as over $7000 in back property taxes, made steadily worse by my father desperately avoiding paying the amount of support money he's supposed to pay.
My mom is having a hard time finding a job since she hasn't worked for 19 years. She also has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure, and doesn't feel well most of the time. Her medications are keeping her alive, and sometimes its a wonder we can even afford them. Neither of us have medical insurance and cannot afford it, and always hope and pray daily that neither of us need to go to the doctor for anything. I've in fact stopped taking my anti-depression medication, forcing myself to suck it up and deal with it, trying to ignore the fact I may have a chemical imbalance and may truly need the pills (they worked so well, made me so happy...T_T ), simply because a one month supply costs $100.
The furnace in our house doesn't work so its often very cold. Some plumbing needs to be fixed as we only have one working toilet left. Our house is falling apart around us, for example I have a two foot wide hole in my bedroom wall that my father made when I was a child to repair broken pipes that burst because of him in the first place, and the hole was never repaired. Our one car is on its last leg and constantly needs one repair after another.
95% of the clothing I wear is offcolor from years of wear, full of holes, and tattered around all the edges. I cannot afford to buy new clothing. Goodwill and similar stores are our best friends when it comes to clothes, but being a severely overweight person, its actually difficult even then to find clothing that'll fit.
I gained a lot of weight over the many years because of stress and major depression, among other things, and struggle with it everyday. I failed highschool as a result of everything, but I'm working hard to graduate through a high school diploma program. I may not get to go to college to follow my dreams without help. My tuition will cost a grand total of about $63,000.00 for the full three years, plus who knows what in expenses, and I have no idea how I can ever go.
For years now I've ended up giving my mom any birthday/Christmas money I get to help buy food and/or pay bills. And I have been telling her just as long that I don't really want much for birthday/Christmas, that it's okay, but she still manages to get me a little more than I was expecting. I wish for once, that kind of conversation/thinking would never have to happen again. I wish we were debt free, with some wiggle room again, without so many worries that deprive us of sleep and contentedness.
We survive without things like cable, internet, and a working computer. We don't eat out more than maybe once or twice a month, and almost NEVER without a decent coupon. We are not extravagant people, we are simply people who want to be out of debt and live a life that isn't ruled by whether we can afford to feed ourselves or not.
I feel terrible asking for money, and honestly I have my doubts of getting anywhere with this. But I ask of you, PLEASE donate money to me, even if its 5 cents, if a bazillion other people give 5 cents, that adds up. And even if you can't give, please, tell 5 people, and encourage them to tell 5 people, and so on. I have nothing to give in return except the warm fuzzy feeling you helped someone in need. I do have some skills in art, traditional and pixel, and could give you something i draw/pixel. ("But you could do commissions then, with those skills."....I've tried before, and no one will commission me.) I just beg of you, please help me somehow. If you do...you're my personal most favorite person in the world, and you have more thanks from me than I know how to express.
My Paypal Donation Link
Please help me and my mother, God bless you and THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!