(no subject)
God I couldn’t get to sleep last night. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably and I couldn’t breathe. I finally got to sleep at like 3:30 after writing for about an hour while listening to dashboard. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Things seem to be running smoothly and then something will happen which will lead to another and just throw everything off the track. Our family friend Mikey died from cancer on Wednesday night, you aren’t supposed to die at age 16. That just isn’t right. Every time I think about it, I get the sickest feeling in my stomach. I don’t really wanna talk about it anymore. I swear, Shayne always seems to call me at the worst times too and makes everything worse. Ahh fuck you Shayne. You don’t even know what you do to me. I had the most frustrating day ever yesterday. God I used to be such a good student, but now I don’t even know how to be a good student anymore. I want to be but I can’t motivate myself to do it. I’m sick of cutting class and not doing the work and all this bullshit, I actually tried in math yesterday and I almost burst into tears because I didn’t know how to do a lot of it anymore and it was the most frustrating thing ever. I really am going to start trying. For those of you that don’t know, my dad suffers from severe depression and He’s been fine for awhile but lately he has been really depressed and I feel like part of that is my fault. It’s hard when you are about to go out with friends and your dad mumbles to himself, “I just want to die.” I’m really scared for him and wish there was someway I could help him out. It’s not even that I’m sad right now; I’m just confused and frustrated with the way things are going and I just need to figure things out and get on the right track again. I know things will be fine because they always are. I’ve got more to say but I’ve already spilled enough in this entry and it’s not gunna happen again.
On another note, I went to an all the wrong people (martins band) performance during open mic night last night at borders with Kelly, Robin, Bobby, Billy and Michelle. He played like 3 songs that were on his CD and one new one that I really liked. They have a show at Café Roma on December 11th at 7:30, so for those of you that aren’t going to prom you should go check them out.
Hope all is going well for ya’ll. Oh yea and Kings won, Kevin have fun at the Boston game on Sunday night that I SHOULD be going to…grr
On another note, I went to an all the wrong people (martins band) performance during open mic night last night at borders with Kelly, Robin, Bobby, Billy and Michelle. He played like 3 songs that were on his CD and one new one that I really liked. They have a show at Café Roma on December 11th at 7:30, so for those of you that aren’t going to prom you should go check them out.
Hope all is going well for ya’ll. Oh yea and Kings won, Kevin have fun at the Boston game on Sunday night that I SHOULD be going to…grr