texas of the north
day two of the stay chez parents in scenic fort saskatchewan alberta, a former farming community turned chemical factory wasteland about 25 km from the edmonton city limits, though urban sprawl draws the big shitty ever closer by the day. hell...apparently there'll be an ETS route servicing the place by the time we get back from arsonfest in the peg, which will make hunting for employment of the non-walmart checkout variety a little easier anyway. here's a basic rundown of the voyage here from timmins :
.....so we waited two days after our original departure date for the great storm that never really materialized to pass us by only to get stuck in a downpour as soon as heather's mom dropped us off at the turnoff the to wawa highway way out by the sawmills past the edge of timmins, which washed away our bug reppellant and added the joys of wet chafing clothing to the endless assault of mosquito bites. after awhile we caved and decided to head a little out of our way and hike on the road heading south to sudbury, where we got picked up almost immediately by a trucker headed thataways. another short ride took us to nairn, where we got picked up by a couple of Hells Angels in a borrowed hatchback who smoked me out (heather being nailed to the X and all graciously refused their offers of doobage)while listening to ZZ Top and spent most of the drive discussing how to deal with the mechanic in thessalon that they were going to pay a visit to over some drama involving shoddy repairs on a truck owned by one of them - most solutions involving the calling up of a friend known as "Stormin Norman" whose specialty was apparently "busting fuckers' heads open". heather and i were shitting our pants in fear for the entire ride, though the two gentlemen seemed to pay us little attention other than the passing of joints and offering of cigarrettes. needless to say we were a little shaken when they dropped us off in iron bridge, which is probably why the trucker who took us from there to sault ste marie seemed so worried about us. the soo turned out to be one of the highlights of the trip...fast money panhandling off tourists on their way to some dance club, a free hotel room, and then a ride with some truly rad kids on their way out to the cabin on the shore of lake superior that one them called home the next day. i wish that we had managed to get contact info from Felipe and his two friends or at least hung out at the cabin awhile longer, as those three hippies seemed way more "down for the cause" than most of the punx we'd run into paying lip service to the revolution, but oh well. after three hours of waiting in the blazing sun and one short ride a little further down the lakeshore we ended up scoring what at first seemed like a dream ride with two youngish kids on a meandering crosscountry road trip....until later on that night when we pulled into some campground in the mosquito infested swamp that seems to cover most of the northern ontario landmass in some form or another where they set up their big, fancy expensive tent that could have easily housed the two of them, heather and myself with plenty of room for backppacks and whatnot, asked us where all our camping gear was, and when we explained that all we had was a smallish tarp and sleeping bags, said "that's too bad, you're going to get eaten alive by bugs out here"....and rudely inquired as to why we would even attempt to hitchhike in this day and age, when we could just fly to whereever we're going or something to that effect, zipping the front flap up on the palatial yuppie portodwelling and leaving us to fend for ourselves in the mosquito-thick night. so yeah, that kinda sucked. we curled up in the camping area's shower room for the night and then wandered through the park until our ride decided to get up then politely asked if they could just let us off in thunder bay (the next urban center along the way), which they did, smack dab in the middle of town along one of the few stretches of highway in canada where pedestrians and bikes are strictly not allowed. gee thanks again guys. anyways, after walking until it felt our legs would collapse we got another short ride to a truckstop and then ended up scoring one of those rare rides that seems like every hitchikers dream, with a guy named rod who took us off the main highway down along route 11 which runs along the stretch of land sandwitched between Lake Of The Woods and the border between ontario and minnesota, down to Fort Francis. man oh man, he knew so much about local flora, fauna and history we were hanging off every word and when we pulled into town he not only showed us some empty trailers where we could sleep for the night across from the junkyard that he owned but also kicked us down $40.....wicked! the next day we walked all the way to the next town called...get this.....EMO! yup, we were at least entertained for awhile speculating on the availability of sweatervests in local thrift stores and wondering whether or not the locals really were whiny bastards when we chumped out and decided to take the hound the rest of the way to winnipeg, where we'd at least have a chance to hit old friends up for a place to rest and relax after a few stressful sleepdeprived days on the road. when the bus cut through the upper corner of minnesota, we were the only ones hauled off to be searched and the customs pricks seemed quite entertained by all of the weird stuff we were hauling along with us....dirty underwear, sewing gear, vials of essential oils and even a jar of soy lecithin were all inspected carefully to make sure they weren't all really components in some elaborate bomb-making scheme and then just dumped on the desk for us to repack while the rest of the folx on the bus glared at us for holding them up. oh well. the peg was uneventful, got to see and old penpal and a former roommate, drink alot of coffee and a bit of beer as well and i'm still thinking about moving there, even if it does get down to like minus eighty there or some shit in the winter. after we left monday morning and got stuck in the rain in regina on a freeway in the middle of rush hour we decided to chump out again and dig into the money that shall not be touched (aka the eating while in australia fund) and bus it here to the greater e-town area and the parental comforts of beds and food and whatnot that awaited us here. the only hangup in this being that the next bus didn't leave until the morning, but sleep deprivation practically being our default state of mind anyway we stashed our shit in a bus locker and sat up in the only 24 hour coffee shop in town telling bad jokes and reading awful magazines until the sun rose and then walked through the surprisingly clean back alleys of town with the stray cats and occasional lanky urban jackrabbits til mother hound envelopped us once again, birthing us into the edmonton terminal in our usual shambling state where my mom picked us up and drove us to the fort.....wow that was a long rant but that's what happens when your entire moring consists of guzzling coffee i guess. now i just gotta find a job.
.....so we waited two days after our original departure date for the great storm that never really materialized to pass us by only to get stuck in a downpour as soon as heather's mom dropped us off at the turnoff the to wawa highway way out by the sawmills past the edge of timmins, which washed away our bug reppellant and added the joys of wet chafing clothing to the endless assault of mosquito bites. after awhile we caved and decided to head a little out of our way and hike on the road heading south to sudbury, where we got picked up almost immediately by a trucker headed thataways. another short ride took us to nairn, where we got picked up by a couple of Hells Angels in a borrowed hatchback who smoked me out (heather being nailed to the X and all graciously refused their offers of doobage)while listening to ZZ Top and spent most of the drive discussing how to deal with the mechanic in thessalon that they were going to pay a visit to over some drama involving shoddy repairs on a truck owned by one of them - most solutions involving the calling up of a friend known as "Stormin Norman" whose specialty was apparently "busting fuckers' heads open". heather and i were shitting our pants in fear for the entire ride, though the two gentlemen seemed to pay us little attention other than the passing of joints and offering of cigarrettes. needless to say we were a little shaken when they dropped us off in iron bridge, which is probably why the trucker who took us from there to sault ste marie seemed so worried about us. the soo turned out to be one of the highlights of the trip...fast money panhandling off tourists on their way to some dance club, a free hotel room, and then a ride with some truly rad kids on their way out to the cabin on the shore of lake superior that one them called home the next day. i wish that we had managed to get contact info from Felipe and his two friends or at least hung out at the cabin awhile longer, as those three hippies seemed way more "down for the cause" than most of the punx we'd run into paying lip service to the revolution, but oh well. after three hours of waiting in the blazing sun and one short ride a little further down the lakeshore we ended up scoring what at first seemed like a dream ride with two youngish kids on a meandering crosscountry road trip....until later on that night when we pulled into some campground in the mosquito infested swamp that seems to cover most of the northern ontario landmass in some form or another where they set up their big, fancy expensive tent that could have easily housed the two of them, heather and myself with plenty of room for backppacks and whatnot, asked us where all our camping gear was, and when we explained that all we had was a smallish tarp and sleeping bags, said "that's too bad, you're going to get eaten alive by bugs out here"....and rudely inquired as to why we would even attempt to hitchhike in this day and age, when we could just fly to whereever we're going or something to that effect, zipping the front flap up on the palatial yuppie portodwelling and leaving us to fend for ourselves in the mosquito-thick night. so yeah, that kinda sucked. we curled up in the camping area's shower room for the night and then wandered through the park until our ride decided to get up then politely asked if they could just let us off in thunder bay (the next urban center along the way), which they did, smack dab in the middle of town along one of the few stretches of highway in canada where pedestrians and bikes are strictly not allowed. gee thanks again guys. anyways, after walking until it felt our legs would collapse we got another short ride to a truckstop and then ended up scoring one of those rare rides that seems like every hitchikers dream, with a guy named rod who took us off the main highway down along route 11 which runs along the stretch of land sandwitched between Lake Of The Woods and the border between ontario and minnesota, down to Fort Francis. man oh man, he knew so much about local flora, fauna and history we were hanging off every word and when we pulled into town he not only showed us some empty trailers where we could sleep for the night across from the junkyard that he owned but also kicked us down $40.....wicked! the next day we walked all the way to the next town called...get this.....EMO! yup, we were at least entertained for awhile speculating on the availability of sweatervests in local thrift stores and wondering whether or not the locals really were whiny bastards when we chumped out and decided to take the hound the rest of the way to winnipeg, where we'd at least have a chance to hit old friends up for a place to rest and relax after a few stressful sleepdeprived days on the road. when the bus cut through the upper corner of minnesota, we were the only ones hauled off to be searched and the customs pricks seemed quite entertained by all of the weird stuff we were hauling along with us....dirty underwear, sewing gear, vials of essential oils and even a jar of soy lecithin were all inspected carefully to make sure they weren't all really components in some elaborate bomb-making scheme and then just dumped on the desk for us to repack while the rest of the folx on the bus glared at us for holding them up. oh well. the peg was uneventful, got to see and old penpal and a former roommate, drink alot of coffee and a bit of beer as well and i'm still thinking about moving there, even if it does get down to like minus eighty there or some shit in the winter. after we left monday morning and got stuck in the rain in regina on a freeway in the middle of rush hour we decided to chump out again and dig into the money that shall not be touched (aka the eating while in australia fund) and bus it here to the greater e-town area and the parental comforts of beds and food and whatnot that awaited us here. the only hangup in this being that the next bus didn't leave until the morning, but sleep deprivation practically being our default state of mind anyway we stashed our shit in a bus locker and sat up in the only 24 hour coffee shop in town telling bad jokes and reading awful magazines until the sun rose and then walked through the surprisingly clean back alleys of town with the stray cats and occasional lanky urban jackrabbits til mother hound envelopped us once again, birthing us into the edmonton terminal in our usual shambling state where my mom picked us up and drove us to the fort.....wow that was a long rant but that's what happens when your entire moring consists of guzzling coffee i guess. now i just gotta find a job.