Why I Love Twilight, an MST From A Cynical Observer of the Habits of Teenage Fangirls
So I was prowling on the interwebs, when what should I find? This little piece of garbage literature. Upon reading, I realized that this girl, LizzieBella, or whatever, has some serious issues, mentally and grammatically. Behold her ramblings, and my rebuttal ramblings (Warning: Not nice. Twilight fans, stay away for the sake of your poor, fragile little egos).
So I love Twilight, and this is just part of why i love it so much!!!
Bloody hell, here we go.
1. its so sweet and romantic!! its a really sweet love story, and Bella and Edward are such a sweet couple.
Oh, of course. I long for a boyfriend like Edward, you know. I always wanted to be stalked and nearly eaten on multiple occasions. It's so sweet.
2. it shows that love is about extremes. like Edward and Bella are risking their lives for each other, a vampire and a human, and Edward and Bella do all kinds of things for each other for love, it shows that love really can conquer all!
Yeah! So I can start that clandestine relationship with my quesadilla now, because I'm sure I feel just about as strongly for it as Edward does for Bella, from a culinary perspective.
3. The characters a re like, REALLY HOT! I mean theres Edward, Jacob, JAsper, Carlisle, Emmett, Mike, Alec, Dmirty, James, etc.!!!! YES the movies are more better and fun becaus of the fact that the guys are totally smokin! I mean theyd still be good without them but the eye candy makes the movies so much better!!!!!!
Who's Dmirty, and is that his gangster name, D. Mirty, get down, get dirty? Also, I usually like to see things like grammar and spelling in a sentence. Just, you know, as a sidenote. The main point I'm trying to make here is "OMG I'm 16 and I want a hot boyfriend so I'm going to pant over these SUPERHOT guys now!"
4. Kristen Stewart. Shes so talented and amazing! shes going to go far, shes really an AMAZING actress, and shes so pretty too! shes one of the best things about the Twilight movies!!!!!!!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. I have many things to say about this statement. Taste is subjective, of course. But I haven't exactly seen Kristen Stewart make a facial expression other than "I'm so stoned... where's that blunt at? I gots me some munchies," or on occasion, "Braaaaaaaains." On the other hand, it does take talent to sit through a Twilight movie, let alone act in one, so kudos for being a brave little toaster, Kristen! Btw Lizzie, so that you don't think I'm just biased against her because "she's so hot and she has such a hot boyfriend and you're just jealous that you don't have what she has!" I USED to like Kristen Stewart, back when she acted. Like in Catch That Kid. She had more acting capacity at 13 than she does now (See: Lindsay Lohan).
5. Its epic!! I mean theres always lots of tension and excitment, and theres always some problem that happens to poor Bella, and they always solve it becaus of true love!!!
That's completely the wrong image to send to teenage girls like you. Life's problems do not go away just because you have a shiny new boyfriend. And EXCUSE ME, what "tension and excitement"? The Edward Jacob Bella love triangle? Yeah, I want to read four books about that.
6. I mean seriusly, Action, romance, tension, drama….WHAT COULD BE BETTER!!!!!
BAHAHAHA. Action? Get this girl a reality check. The most action that happens in this series is when Bella declumps her father's lasagna. She falls asleep conveniently at every other point. Or drags her miserable, emasculated vampire toy with her to keep her company in the middle of the woods and then gets freaky in front of him with her other miserable, emasculated werewolf toy.
7. The characters are relatable. I mean Bella is just an average girl, and she has problems that everyday people face. Shes MUCH better to relate to then say….Harry Potter, some nerdy wizard with a broomstick and dead parents… *caugh caugh*
The biggest problem I found in Twilight (other than the fact that it exists, of course) was Bella tripping over her own stupid shoelaces. I can NOT relate with someone who curls up in a fetal position after she's dumped and stays that way for as long as she can until she decides to endanger her life so she can hear his disembodied voice in her head. Whereas, Harry Potter? Are you even trying to compare the two right now? Where do I even start on that statement?
1. He's not nerdy. Sure, he wears glasses, but it's made clear that he's talented but has a bit more than school on his mind at the moment. If you want to call anyone nerdy, go with Hermione. I'd accept that a little more easily.
2. What are we, racist against orphans now?
3. I don't know about you, son, but I learned SO many life lessons from the VERY relatable Harry Potter characters. Like bravery, loyalty, companionship, sacrifice, etc.
4. Flying is cool. I'd rather have a broomstick than a battered copy of Wuthering Heights. *caugh caugh*
And yeah some might say that vampires arent relatable cause they’ve like vampires, but like other then the fact that they’re vampires, theyre basically like regular people, TOTALLY relatable i mean they even go to Hish School!!!!
Wow, I wish I went to Hish School. Sounds like fun. And other than the fact that they kill humans to feed, drink animal blood as a form of "vegetarianism," went to high school 34901834 times, stalk teenage girls in their bedrooms at night, sparkle in the sun, brood over how perfect they are, drive Volvos, wear new clothes everyday (that is NOT environmentally friendly, btw), throw out their uneaten food everyday (there are starving children in Africa), and don't notice when someone steals about the average American annual income from them, vampires are TOTALLY the same as regular people. Just add in a couple "likes" to the above sentence, and this logic will be made even more infallible.
Anyways, this are just a few reasons why I love Twilight, but anyways, seriosly, TWILIGHT ROCKS!!
Anyways, "this are" just a few reasons why I decided to become a pre-pubescent self-insert in an already self-insert story, but "seriosly" MARY SUE FTW!!!!111!!!
Peace,
LizzieBella
This is just a wild guess, but do you think that this girl's real name is Lizzie (or perhaps Elizabeth), and she calls herself Bella after her FAVORIT PEARSON EVARR, Bella Swan, OMG JKS she's Bella Cullen now? ...Little Mary Sue cunt.
So I love Twilight, and this is just part of why i love it so much!!!
Bloody hell, here we go.
1. its so sweet and romantic!! its a really sweet love story, and Bella and Edward are such a sweet couple.
Oh, of course. I long for a boyfriend like Edward, you know. I always wanted to be stalked and nearly eaten on multiple occasions. It's so sweet.
2. it shows that love is about extremes. like Edward and Bella are risking their lives for each other, a vampire and a human, and Edward and Bella do all kinds of things for each other for love, it shows that love really can conquer all!
Yeah! So I can start that clandestine relationship with my quesadilla now, because I'm sure I feel just about as strongly for it as Edward does for Bella, from a culinary perspective.
3. The characters a re like, REALLY HOT! I mean theres Edward, Jacob, JAsper, Carlisle, Emmett, Mike, Alec, Dmirty, James, etc.!!!! YES the movies are more better and fun becaus of the fact that the guys are totally smokin! I mean theyd still be good without them but the eye candy makes the movies so much better!!!!!!
Who's Dmirty, and is that his gangster name, D. Mirty, get down, get dirty? Also, I usually like to see things like grammar and spelling in a sentence. Just, you know, as a sidenote. The main point I'm trying to make here is "OMG I'm 16 and I want a hot boyfriend so I'm going to pant over these SUPERHOT guys now!"
4. Kristen Stewart. Shes so talented and amazing! shes going to go far, shes really an AMAZING actress, and shes so pretty too! shes one of the best things about the Twilight movies!!!!!!!
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT. I have many things to say about this statement. Taste is subjective, of course. But I haven't exactly seen Kristen Stewart make a facial expression other than "I'm so stoned... where's that blunt at? I gots me some munchies," or on occasion, "Braaaaaaaains." On the other hand, it does take talent to sit through a Twilight movie, let alone act in one, so kudos for being a brave little toaster, Kristen! Btw Lizzie, so that you don't think I'm just biased against her because "she's so hot and she has such a hot boyfriend and you're just jealous that you don't have what she has!" I USED to like Kristen Stewart, back when she acted. Like in Catch That Kid. She had more acting capacity at 13 than she does now (See: Lindsay Lohan).
5. Its epic!! I mean theres always lots of tension and excitment, and theres always some problem that happens to poor Bella, and they always solve it becaus of true love!!!
That's completely the wrong image to send to teenage girls like you. Life's problems do not go away just because you have a shiny new boyfriend. And EXCUSE ME, what "tension and excitement"? The Edward Jacob Bella love triangle? Yeah, I want to read four books about that.
6. I mean seriusly, Action, romance, tension, drama….WHAT COULD BE BETTER!!!!!
BAHAHAHA. Action? Get this girl a reality check. The most action that happens in this series is when Bella declumps her father's lasagna. She falls asleep conveniently at every other point. Or drags her miserable, emasculated vampire toy with her to keep her company in the middle of the woods and then gets freaky in front of him with her other miserable, emasculated werewolf toy.
7. The characters are relatable. I mean Bella is just an average girl, and she has problems that everyday people face. Shes MUCH better to relate to then say….Harry Potter, some nerdy wizard with a broomstick and dead parents… *caugh caugh*
The biggest problem I found in Twilight (other than the fact that it exists, of course) was Bella tripping over her own stupid shoelaces. I can NOT relate with someone who curls up in a fetal position after she's dumped and stays that way for as long as she can until she decides to endanger her life so she can hear his disembodied voice in her head. Whereas, Harry Potter? Are you even trying to compare the two right now? Where do I even start on that statement?
1. He's not nerdy. Sure, he wears glasses, but it's made clear that he's talented but has a bit more than school on his mind at the moment. If you want to call anyone nerdy, go with Hermione. I'd accept that a little more easily.
2. What are we, racist against orphans now?
3. I don't know about you, son, but I learned SO many life lessons from the VERY relatable Harry Potter characters. Like bravery, loyalty, companionship, sacrifice, etc.
4. Flying is cool. I'd rather have a broomstick than a battered copy of Wuthering Heights. *caugh caugh*
And yeah some might say that vampires arent relatable cause they’ve like vampires, but like other then the fact that they’re vampires, theyre basically like regular people, TOTALLY relatable i mean they even go to Hish School!!!!
Wow, I wish I went to Hish School. Sounds like fun. And other than the fact that they kill humans to feed, drink animal blood as a form of "vegetarianism," went to high school 34901834 times, stalk teenage girls in their bedrooms at night, sparkle in the sun, brood over how perfect they are, drive Volvos, wear new clothes everyday (that is NOT environmentally friendly, btw), throw out their uneaten food everyday (there are starving children in Africa), and don't notice when someone steals about the average American annual income from them, vampires are TOTALLY the same as regular people. Just add in a couple "likes" to the above sentence, and this logic will be made even more infallible.
Anyways, this are just a few reasons why I love Twilight, but anyways, seriosly, TWILIGHT ROCKS!!
Anyways, "this are" just a few reasons why I decided to become a pre-pubescent self-insert in an already self-insert story, but "seriosly" MARY SUE FTW!!!!111!!!
Peace,
LizzieBella
This is just a wild guess, but do you think that this girl's real name is Lizzie (or perhaps Elizabeth), and she calls herself Bella after her FAVORIT PEARSON EVARR, Bella Swan, OMG JKS she's Bella Cullen now? ...Little Mary Sue cunt.