❥ 08 [text]
[Asuna had done a good job getting him back to Solve, but as soon as Kurt got in through the front door, he just made his way slowly and almost zombie-like to his room, closing the door as quietly as he could in order to try and keep to himself for just a little while
( Read more... )
The support will help. It really will. Especially from Blaine.
At the time being, though, he's just staring at Blaine from underneath his matted, dirty hair. He's never been in such diarray before, never been so dirty and grimy, especially in front of someone else, but... at the moment he just doesn't care. All he care about is being in that corner of the room, making himself as small as possible, trying to put his mind back together.
He just... he can't get past that nightmare he'd had. It was so real... so real he's melded it with his memories. It was part of the reason he just looked so... broken right now.]
Blaine... [And suddenly, guilt and fear hit him so hard he just froze, eyes going wide before he shook his head and withdrew even further, burying his face his his knees and just... shaking.] I... I'm sorry I didn't mean to, it just... it just...
Reply
[Once Blaine snaps out of his shock, he walks to Kurt's bed and sits down next to the other boy. He pauses for a moment, but it doesn't take him long to wrap his arm around Kurt's should and pull him a bit closer into a one armed hug.]
Kurt...none of this was your fault. No one blames you for anything. We're just so relieved that you're safe.
Reply
Suddenly, his body his moving, dry retching as he desperately puts one hand over his mouth, the other braced shakily against Blaine's chest, pushing him away weakly to keep him at arm's length until the retching dies down. And then... he's just collapsing into him, his skin ashen underneath the blood and grime on it, breath coming short and expression blank.]
.... You don't know what I did, Blaine. I- [His voice catches in his throat, another shudder running down his spine] You'll hate me... if I say it.
What I did. But I didn't mean to, I didn't even want to.
Reply
I don't think you could do anything to make me hate you, Kurt. What's bothering you...?
Reply
And right now, faced with this "confession" of something he still thinks is real... he can't help but start to shake again, to screw his eyes shut in dread.]
I... I killed him. Karofsky. I k- [And then, his voice fails him, and he just sits there, tense and shivering, mind racing with all the dreaded outcomes of what he just said.
At best, Blaine would hate him. At the worst? ... He'd find him disgusting. Disturbing. Would recoil and shun him and... why did he even say that?!]
Reply
[Blaine is a little relieved that it was just a dream, or a nightmare. It could have been a lot worse, though things certainly weren't very good at the moment, especially with Kurt in this state. He just needed Kurt to calm down for a minute.]
[He remained where he was, arms wrapped around the taller boy.]
It was only a dream...Karofsky isn't here and you certainly didn't kill him. Everything is fine...just take a few deep breaths and try and calm down, okay?
Reply
And when he does, his breathing is slowly calming down, his body relaxing slightly from the tensed, balled-up posture he'd been making his way into.]
A... dream? [He shakes his head, sitting up and pushing away just enough to look Blaine in the eyes, but not enough to get out of his hold. Never enough to get out of his hold.] It was too real to be a dream, Blaine. I--
[His voice cuts off again, panic gripping him as those images flash in his mind again, as he can practically feel the cool metal of the crowbar in his hands. So, he closes his eyes again, hands reaching out blindly to grip at Blaine's shirt as he slowly works on getting his breathing to slow down, to move from those frantic gasps he's working with now to a more normal rhythm. It takes a while, but he does finally get there.]
... He's not... here?
Reply
[He knows that he can't make that promise, that he's weak compared to the vast majority of Adstringendum. But at the moment...it feels like the right thing to say. And he knows that if Kurt was ever in danger again, he wouldn't hesitate to try and save him.]
[Even if it ended badly for him...at least Kurt would be safe.]
Reply
... before his shoulders start to shake and his breathing hitches again. But this time, its not a panic attack. Kurt is just... breaking down and crying. Right into the boy that's really the only one that can hold him together right now.
He'll be embarrassed for all this later, no doubt, as he knows Blaine's in love with that GAP guy, and this is probably all sorts of awkward for him... but for now... he's being selfish. He needs this. And so long as Blaine's offering, he's not going to pass up the opportunity.]
Reply
[Blaine just tightens his grip on Kurt and begins to rock the other boy gently in his arms. He can feel the tears prickling his own eyes, but he'll keep them back for the moment. He needs to stay strong for Kurt right now.]
[Once Kurt is settled in his arms, he begins to sing softly.]
Come stop your crying...it will be alright. Just take my hand, hold it tight. I will protect you from all around you...I will be here, don't you cry...
Reply
Because as nice as this feels, as nice as it is to hear those words... they just don't mean what he so desperately wants them to.
Which is just half the reason he's just clutching tighter at Blaine, those tears still coming, especially when he starts to sing.]
Blaine.
[Its said with a sob, desperately, as if he's trying to say something and ask something all at once. But he just. Can't. Word it. Not now, at least.]
Reply
[Especially after seeing Kurt's dreams...Blaine isn't sure exactly what his feelings are for Kurt. He knows he likes Kurt, as a friend at the very least, but he's not sure if those feelings translate to romance. They might, but Blaine is scared of screwing things up and ruining their entire friendship.]
[So, for now, he'll just sit there and continue to sing, gently rocking Kurt in time with the music he's singing.]
For one so small, you seem so strong. My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm. This bond between us...can't be broken. I will be here, don't you cry.
Reply
Eventually, however, he'll stop crying, just not having the energy to anymore. Instead, he'll just shift a bit, trying to sit up in order to just lean his head against Blaine's shoulder as he recovers, as his mind tries to just make sense of things.
To bring him firmly back into reality.
And, eventually, he'll even give the other boy a soft, weak smile.]
I should've known you have a weakness for sappy Disney films.
Reply
[He does let out a small laugh at the comment.]
I see you've found out my secret.
Reply
His body is sore, tired, cold, but the arm around him and the feeling of Blaine against him keeps him warm, keeps him rooted. Keeps him sane.
And although that smile is tired and small, and although his eyes are still a bit blank, his expression a little vacant, its there.]
It wasn't too hard. [A pause, and he's moving a bit to look at Blaine fully now] I didn't worry you too much, did I?
[Because alksdngd the thing bothering him the most aside from the Karofsky thing is... the fact that he knows Rachel and Blaine must have been flipping out. He knows the pain of watching someone you care about - albeit in a totally platonic way damnit it Blaine - in a coma all too well.]
Reply
I won't lie, Kurt...it was a rough week for us all. I was so worried when you went into that coma and when you disappeared...I didn't know what to do with myself. I had no idea where you were for who may have took you...I felt helpless.
And Rachel and I couldn't do anything to help rescue you either. We really wanted to come, I promise...but they wouldn't let us. They said it was too dangerous for us to go along. I just...wanted to make sure you made it home safe and sound.
Reply
Leave a comment