(no subject)
bad bad bad bad bad day.
this morning i asked my mom if like she could actually call the psychiatrist right..and then she was like bla bla okay and im like well uhh cause its getting worse so i need you to actually call..and shes like how and i told her that like i cant concentrate in school anymore and whatnot..and then she says "well i dont need you to give me excuses on why you get bad grades" WHAT THE HELLLL!!!! omG! and like, she has depression too so i figured she would understand me in some freaking way?! but uhh wow thats so gay..and i have what like b's in every class? thats not bad..whatever
then gabby was like "i love you jessy dont be sad!" so i felt better for like 5 minutes=) (i love you too gabby) and uhh then at lunch sulaiman i guess tried to be nice and ask what was wrong and i started to tell him and he walked away..i mean we were already walking but uhh yea..idk what happened..that didnt make it better though..and all through science i was like crying the whole time and then mrs rihing was like uhh yea your not allowed to leave the classroom anymore cause you didnt go to the nurse that one time..like a week ago..but uhh i definatly said can i go to the pay phone..not the nurse..she wanted me to go to the nurse instead..whatever.
and then i got to thinking about gary. =(..and i guess its when he has a girlfriend..i start to think things about him and stuff..and i ended up by the end thinking he was mad at me..and then i asked him if he was which was stupid..cause he doesnt understand why i end up thinking that..neither do i..but he was like thats gay for you to ask that or whatever..when you have no reason to think that..which is right..but idk..i think i really screwed up a lot with him..just as friends..and it is different..idk..i guess that doesn't make sense
will is going back out with sarah..which definatly didn't help at all..whatever
i really need like a boyfriend or something..but not like anyone..i know who..and it sucks.
this morning i asked my mom if like she could actually call the psychiatrist right..and then she was like bla bla okay and im like well uhh cause its getting worse so i need you to actually call..and shes like how and i told her that like i cant concentrate in school anymore and whatnot..and then she says "well i dont need you to give me excuses on why you get bad grades" WHAT THE HELLLL!!!! omG! and like, she has depression too so i figured she would understand me in some freaking way?! but uhh wow thats so gay..and i have what like b's in every class? thats not bad..whatever
then gabby was like "i love you jessy dont be sad!" so i felt better for like 5 minutes=) (i love you too gabby) and uhh then at lunch sulaiman i guess tried to be nice and ask what was wrong and i started to tell him and he walked away..i mean we were already walking but uhh yea..idk what happened..that didnt make it better though..and all through science i was like crying the whole time and then mrs rihing was like uhh yea your not allowed to leave the classroom anymore cause you didnt go to the nurse that one time..like a week ago..but uhh i definatly said can i go to the pay phone..not the nurse..she wanted me to go to the nurse instead..whatever.
and then i got to thinking about gary. =(..and i guess its when he has a girlfriend..i start to think things about him and stuff..and i ended up by the end thinking he was mad at me..and then i asked him if he was which was stupid..cause he doesnt understand why i end up thinking that..neither do i..but he was like thats gay for you to ask that or whatever..when you have no reason to think that..which is right..but idk..i think i really screwed up a lot with him..just as friends..and it is different..idk..i guess that doesn't make sense
will is going back out with sarah..which definatly didn't help at all..whatever
i really need like a boyfriend or something..but not like anyone..i know who..and it sucks.