For lastvoyages: Journal Entry 12: [written]
[Private]
I have reread Aleera's letters so many times that I have lost count. Was I really...that bad?
I suppose I must have been. I've never seen her so unwavering. If she can talk like that to me even through the bond of Blood she must truly feel it. But how did I miss any of this before now?
Biff...might be right. About a number of things. So might CharlesCharlie.
She didn't abandon me. I lost her. Is that it? I think it might be.
I do not think I will seek another Bride now, especially considering the uproar it would inevitably cause if I transformed her. I long for solace, but it will be short lived if the source of that solace grows discontent and leaves. However. I would really, really like to investigate some of the other options Biff and I talked about. If I cannot love, I can still take a lover so long as I do not lead her on to unrealistic expectations.
But now I see we have a...situation. Rayne's arsenal is in the process of being...redistributed, and everyone's mother or father has shown up. Including Spike's gentle mum. Oh, the temptation. But I will not. I will not, and if he thinks on it he will know that I could have, and I did not. I refuse to act according to everyone's expectations. I am not some walking stereotype.
In fact, after everything that has happened in the last night or two...and a lot more debate...there is something I must do.
[Public]
Do I have any friends or associates left who have not been replaced by disconcertingly beautiful female relatives? Anyone?
[Private to Lady Petronilla]
Lady, are you yourself? I am concerned for your welfare. There has been a problem.
I have reread Aleera's letters so many times that I have lost count. Was I really...that bad?
I suppose I must have been. I've never seen her so unwavering. If she can talk like that to me even through the bond of Blood she must truly feel it. But how did I miss any of this before now?
Biff...might be right. About a number of things. So might CharlesCharlie.
She didn't abandon me. I lost her. Is that it? I think it might be.
I do not think I will seek another Bride now, especially considering the uproar it would inevitably cause if I transformed her. I long for solace, but it will be short lived if the source of that solace grows discontent and leaves. However. I would really, really like to investigate some of the other options Biff and I talked about. If I cannot love, I can still take a lover so long as I do not lead her on to unrealistic expectations.
But now I see we have a...situation. Rayne's arsenal is in the process of being...redistributed, and everyone's mother or father has shown up. Including Spike's gentle mum. Oh, the temptation. But I will not. I will not, and if he thinks on it he will know that I could have, and I did not. I refuse to act according to everyone's expectations. I am not some walking stereotype.
In fact, after everything that has happened in the last night or two...and a lot more debate...there is something I must do.
[Public]
Do I have any friends or associates left who have not been replaced by disconcertingly beautiful female relatives? Anyone?
[Private to Lady Petronilla]
Lady, are you yourself? I am concerned for your welfare. There has been a problem.