For lastvoyages: Journal Entry 38 [Written+spam]

[feels_no_love]

[private to Mark Hoffman]
Apologies are not enough. Therefore when you are feeling social again, I shall place my pointed nose in peril again at your convenience.

[Private to Vasilia]
Words cannot express my regret at having frightened you. Apologies are insufficient in this matter, and I only hope that I have not alienated you completely.

[Private to

Comments

[no_fastolfe]

[PRIVATE]
My dear count-- I apologize if I have left you with this impression at all. I was greatly concerned for you and glad that no-one, particularly yourself, was harmed. I accept your apologies but extend my forgiveness without hesitation. You are as ever one of my closest companions aboard.

[feels_no_love]

I should have kept better control of myself, even in extremis. I was worried that I had damaged our friendship.

The...situation is resolved, more or less, by the way.

[no_fastolfe]

I have only the highest opinion of your control. I have made sure that Commander Rhade knows the lengths to which you went not to harm me.

I am glad that you are recovering and no longer under... that influence. [It looked so painful. :( ]

[feels_no_love]

Good. His opinion is generally worth listening to and I would dislike it if he felt obligated to warn you away from me.

It was not for me. I begin to wonder whether my tormentor was Marishka at all. I do not think she would be so cruel to one she loved.

But if in some worlds there are gods and angels, then demons too must exist somewhere.

[no_fastolfe]

I agree-- that if there was such a manifestation, it was not one who cared for you. If I may be said to believe in demons, I do not know. But whatever it was, it was hostile.

You are out of Zero level? Perhaps we could walk on the deck and talk.

[feels_no_love]

I would...like that. Actually I have something to show you up here.

[no_fastolfe]

Then allow me to dress more warmly and I will join you at your earliest convenience! [She beams at him]

[feels_no_love]

Very well. I will be over by the gardens.

[spam]
[He waited for her there, putting the finishing touches on a sculpture there made of stone and ice: a reproduction castle, as tall as he was. It had taken him almost a month and miraculously no one had kicked it down.]

Spam

[no_fastolfe]

[Vasilia had not been much on the deck-- the extremes of cold were not something she was used to-- and had not seen the castle under construction.

She gasped, her breath puffing out visibly on the exhale]

Count! You created this?

[Building with snow was a complete novelty to her, as even snow itself in any quantity was-- but the loving and perfect recreation enraptured her, and she hurried over to examine its minutest details and geometry.]

[feels_no_love]

I did. I can sculpt in snow without body heat to melt the medium. This is...my home.

Like the Barge, I once viewed it as a prison. My father built it to be so and banished me there after I turned into a vampire, because he couldn't bear to kill me. But I found a way out and it became my hidden stronghold. For all the chaos of this place, I find that I regret coming here less and less in the face of what I have gained...mostly in friendships.

[He pauses and coughs awkwardly.]

I do not expect the sculpture to last, so I will photograph it from every angle. But I wanted you to see it in person.

[no_fastolfe]

[At the mention of his father, Vasilia turns a faint frown on him, curious and sympathetic. Strained relationships she understands. That a father could both love and reject their child.]

I, too, regret this place less than I once did. [Her voice is quiet.]

Thank you for sharing it. It is lovely. If I knew you sculpted, perhaps-- well, never mind. May I touch it? The gloves should insulate my own body heat. [She holds up her hands-- in real gloves, for the cold, not the thin plastic ones she wears for general use.]

[feels_no_love]

I do not think it is capitulation either. There is a certain degree of growing used to the place, but discovering its advantages is more important.

[He nods and steps back, giving her room.] Please.

[no_fastolfe]

I have met like minds here, where I never thought to. [She crouches down and inspects, breathing shallowly as if that warmth might collapse the whole structure.]

How splendid... not at all like Auroran architecture... but so impressive.

[She looks up at him and smiles]

I never realized that I would find friends so far afield.

[feels_no_love]

Nor did I. But...here we are. Even if we are sometimes cowboys or aadvarks. Or what have you. [A little laugh.]

Perhaps I should have sent Marishka away sooner. She did cause a great deal of trouble...[He trails off, and shrugs, pulling out his communicator to finish recording images of the castle.]

[no_fastolfe]

What have you. [She makes a moue of displeasure, but it is less bitter than it might be.]

[Unsure how to respond to the phantom of Marishka-- privately considering that the barge rarely ends torments just because asked to-- Vasilia is wisely silent, standing clear so that he can get a recording and admiring the work from a distance.]