For lastvoyages: Journal Entry 29 [voice]

[feels_no_love]

My apologies for the...lurid...nature of my last communication. I was unable to see and made a private communication public

Comments

Private

[greatlightother]

When you have a moment, I would like to speak with you about something.

Private

[feels_no_love]

[A heavy sigh] As you wish. I am free now, just tell me where.

Private

[greatlightother]

This isn't something scary. I just need to ask you something. I promise it won't take long. Wherever is more comfortable for you.

Private

[feels_no_love]

Oh no, I actually have an apology for you.

The Gardens? They are quite nice right now, and the smells calm me.

Private - spam?

[greatlightother]

You do?

Oh. The gardens are fine. I'll meet you there.

Private

[feels_no_love]

Indeed. I will not neglect it merely because apologizing's...always a bit awkward.

[spam]
[Dracula glides up into the Gardens soon enough, taking a sniff of this or that flower or fruit as he goes. He bows slightly in greeting. His eyes are pale and his crow's feet show a bit more than usual, but he's fine otherwise.]

How may I help you?

[Spam]

[greatlightother]

[Sveta hadn't been waiting long, her hands in her pockets. She was always a bit wary of vampires, at least ones who weren't Damon, even though she had met with him once before.]

I just want an assurance that you have no ill will towards Petronilla.

[Spam]

[feels_no_love]

Ill will? [he actually looked a little stunned.]

I...

Far from it.

I admit, and I apologize for this, that I never expected such a powerful reaction to my plight as she gave. Emotions are something I am relearning, and she...I never expected such protectiveness from her. I admit that I was too stunned and flattered to address the situation properly.

I do not mean her ill. I have restrained myself a great deal around her. In my opinion the last thing she needs is another rough and thoughtless man in her life--in any capacity. So I think. I consider her. She is not someone to use, she's...

She is one of the reasons I have consented to learn to live around humans and treat them well. I don't want to hurt her.

[Spam]

[greatlightother]

[She nodded, as she had gathered that much from him their last conversation.]

I believe you. But you understand that I am a little nervous. Because no, she doesn't need another man like that. And if you consider her your friend, you'll know that it's not good for he even to see that.

[Spam]

[feels_no_love]

Of course you are nervous. I was four hundred years a bloody-handed warlord, and only four months working toward peace. I recognize that.

But...

I never want any woman in my life, friend or otherwise, to fear me. Everyone else does, even if it's just a touch of distrust. I want to be someone she can go to for protection, not one she need be protected from.

[He gestured a little emptily, as if groping for words.] And on a somewhat delicate subject...I won't go near her veins. It's not healthy for someone in her condition anyway.

[Spam]

[greatlightother]

[Sveta bristled a bit at that last statement, but she kept her anger down. It's not as if she was a stranger to the concept. She had let Damon near hers plenty of times when he was her inmate. But it wasn't the same when she felt a surge of protection for Petronilla, even if the pregnancy wasn't real.]

I think you can achieve that. I really do. And I'm glad that she has someone looking out for her when I can't. I just needed to hear you say it. And wanted to make sure that you understood the potential consequences.

[Spam]

[feels_no_love]

Actually I have an eye to the worst consequence of all. [A rueful smile.] Women do this thing when they are sufficiently displeased that may be the only thing I truly fear. They leave! And they take a bit of the world with them.

[All right, that had sounded a bit trite, but it was true, and after a moment he lifted his chin.]

[Spam]

[greatlightother]

[She couldn't hide the confusion that crossed her features and tilted her head to the side.]

We all have to leave here, though.

[Spam]

[feels_no_love]

I could handle her leaving physically, though it would pain me, so long as we were on good terms. But by "leaving" I mean largely the withdrawal of favor. Never to look on me or smile at me or listen to me again. To leave me regretting having done something I cannot take back or make up for.

[Spam]

[greatlightother]

Oh. [She nodded in understanding.] Then I suggest you keep her trust if you don't want that to happen. But she is a good woman.

That's all I really wanted to say.

[Spam]

[feels_no_love]

I will work hard to do so. And I am sorry if my earlier post left you with any headaches in calming her down. I truly didn't realize the strength of her feelings.