Introduction to fucktard.
Ok so last night I was going to tell all of you about love and infatuation. To sum it all up, just look up the words in the dctionary, and see which catagory you fall under.
Next item on the agenda. It's time to play meet the loser parents. Now I know most of you have gone through this stage where you just hate your mother because she is so bitchy and treats you like shit. Oh no mommy won't let me stay out past 12 blah blah blah, wah wah wah. First of all, you don't know how good you had it. I want you to look at everything thing you have, successful parents, a steady roof over your head, maybe even a car. Most of this you didn't drop a penny for, yet most of it they do because and for you. Or they did that for you when you still lived with them. If that didn't get through to you, then maybe this will.
I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me. A very wise person told me that pity was a waste of time. So don't waste your time. Here's the deal. My parents got divorced when i was very young. Made for great x-mas and stuff. A lot of back talk between the two but big deal right. Now to describe my parents to you. We'll start with my dad, since he is a little more to brag about.
My dad never had much direction in his life. His father died when he was 15 so that constant father he loved and feared had vanished leaving him to do as he pleased. And since he was born in 52, you guessed it, he was in his 20's during the 70's. Did you get all of that? Maybe you should read it again. Now I shouldn't have to tell you what most white males from the west were doing in the 70's. Because if you ask somebody who was alive in during that time, they won't remember. So the free love thing blah blah blah my dad had his first son, who was actually like his first brother, who is actually my brother but his son. So in a way, they actually grew up together. I remember when i was about 5, they went to an AC/DC concert together. My dad still has the dollar bill with Angus Young on it when they played "money talks". Which I think is very cool. My dad and I are also close, but I can't see myself going to see mxpx with him. All in all, for an a guy in his 50's hes pretty fuckin cool. So thats why i feel bad right now because i could end up fucking over his credit very badly if i don't start paying off my loan which he co-signed for. Yes, yet another thing you should be thankful for when it comes to your "asshole parents". I think that will turn out ok though. I should be able to start paying back on it really soon.
"You are the worst mother ever!". SLAM! Sound familiar. Either you have done that before or you saw it on a Lifetime original movie. Perhaps even 7th heaven. My mothers story is a bit different from my fathers. Which means i have a way entirly different relatioship with her. My mother is originally from Oklahoma. And if you have heard any bad things about what people do out there (mormons) then just apply them now so I don't have to say it. If you know what I'm talking about then you know that kind of shit will fuck up a persons mental stability. For all I know, my mom could have been the next president of the united fucking states. But now she is just an old lady who desperatly always needs a man in her life. Even if he is a drugged up border crosser.(her current husband). My mom had her first child when she was 16. She gave him up to My grandmother shortly after. I'm not sure how that story goes, i'm afraid to ask. Her next child wouldn't show for a couple more years. That would be my sister, perhaps she is the only reason i didn't kick the bucket many years ago. The man she had my sister and my brother with would abuse her because that was the thing to do back then when you had a dingy wife. It was legal and nobody talked about it. Which messed her up even more. Then 11 years later comes my dad and there was some more yelling and screaming and a baby that turned out to be me. They divorced a few years after I was born and the every other weekend thing happend. Then my mom met another guy and she moved. Then she met another guy and moved again. Then that guy bought a ranch so we moved again. Then they split up so she moved and i went to stay with my dad. Then mom moved to camp verde and so i moved again. But before I left I told my dad, I want to stay here dad, I don't like moving around so much. My dad kinda put his wild life aside for a second and got serious. Asked my mom if i could stay with my dad and she said no. Why she said no I would have never guessed. But then as time went on I figured it out. Anyway, I thought all hope was lost after that. I moved back with mom and we moved about 3 more times. The something strange happend. My dad started the every other weekend thing back up again. I got a lot of cool stuff when that happend. I was like all fucking right man. Got a dirt bike and shit. It was fucking rad. Then one day my dad asked me, "Phillip do you still want to come live here with me?". The thought of not moving around so much and having cool stuff totally outweighed moving around and not having shit. So I said of course.
I didn't know what I started though. A while passed and a summer came and went. My mom had told me that she was doing drugs but she said she had quit. Which doesn't really mean much to a 10 year old. I didn't know then that drugs were addicting. I only knew that they were bad. So then we switched towns one more time only this time i wasn't staying with mom. Oh no. I was staying with my grown up barely 20 years old sister. Who had a child of her own to fend for. Now she was taking care of me.
Anybody who has met my sister will tell you that she is a badass chick. If you met her in a dark alley you wouldn't fuck with her. So now i was living with my sister in a 16 foot camp trailer. Oh yes thats right, I said living. Thats a 20 year old woman, a 10 year old boy, and a 2 year old girl. In a 16 foot camp trailer. Did your mom ever send you to live in a 16 foot camp trailer??? I don't think so. But like I said, my sister is a badass. Always has been, always will be. Someday I want to ask her how she did it all though. Because now that I think about it, its really quite amazing. I can't remember what grade i was in, but every morning she would get me up for school, take me to school, she would go to college, i would get out of school and go to a baby sitter, she would go to work., then come get me and my neice. Thats a 15 hour day for those of you keeping track at home. After a while of staying in the mini camp trailer we upgraded into a larger setting. I think we were at 48 feet or so. I can't remember. But it had a shower and a toilet that weren't right on top of eachother. That was pretty cool shit right there. We stayed there for quite some time. Then mom and her new husband decided that they wanted to get an apartment. (I am probably leaving out a lot of thing but if we ever talk about this in person I'll try to fill everything in for you.) So I left my moved away from my sister, who was more of a mother to me than i ever have had.
Talk about timing. Probably in the exact second on the exact day a lawyer contacts my mom and tells her that my dad is going to get custody of me. Or something to that effect anyway. Now starts the tug-o-war. And i probably didn't do much good for either side. Because I was mainly telling them both what they wanted to hear. If my mom asked me who i wanted to stay with, I would have said her. When my dad would ask, i would have said him. But even when the day in court came and the judge asked, i said i wanted to stay with my dad.
You know how earlier I was talking about my dads little party past and such. Well the judge didn't like that at all, and pretty much decided that it was a bad idea that i stayed with my father. So I got to stay with my mom. Hooray me... I didn't like the outcome of the ruling, and my father, well he hated it. I'm not sure but i think he was tempting suiced or something of the sort. He wasn't a very happy person either way. I had a "every other weekend" with my dad and he had pretty much pissed away the majority of his money on beer. Pity party I guess. I told my dad that i still wanted to live with him but he was still grieving from the defeat I guess. So was I. I hated my mothers husband. I still do. At this very moment I hope he is outside freezing to death. Maybe then my mother will be free of his shackles. Anyway, that was the last time I would see my dad for a while. At least until the summer. I was going to get to stay with him for 2 months. The first month my dad was coming out of his grieving and what not. We went to the lake and did that kind of stuff. Good times. At the beginning of the first month my dad asked if i still wanted to live there. I said of course. Of course fucking of course. So then he told me about his idea. He said that he was going to offer my mom 3000 bucks for me. I wasn't affected by this at all. Money in trade for me. Sounds good. So the time came for me to go back and we arranged to meet half way and my dad talked to my mom, the first time since the trial, and made his offer. This is the part you may have expected. Yes she took it and I was now in my fathers custody. Well. I finally got to live a pretty normal life from there I guess. But what became of my mom? Nothing any better than the way I had left her I'll tell you that.
Lets skip ahead to now. Now I live in Phoenix. I have an apartment with a couple friends. I have a job were i get alright pay. I have my own vehichle. And at this very moment, I have to put a roof over my mothers head, because I am now the responsable adult. Funny how things work out huh. Thats all I got. I'll be back when i can't sleep again.
Philly Out.
Next item on the agenda. It's time to play meet the loser parents. Now I know most of you have gone through this stage where you just hate your mother because she is so bitchy and treats you like shit. Oh no mommy won't let me stay out past 12 blah blah blah, wah wah wah. First of all, you don't know how good you had it. I want you to look at everything thing you have, successful parents, a steady roof over your head, maybe even a car. Most of this you didn't drop a penny for, yet most of it they do because and for you. Or they did that for you when you still lived with them. If that didn't get through to you, then maybe this will.
I don't want anybody to feel sorry for me. A very wise person told me that pity was a waste of time. So don't waste your time. Here's the deal. My parents got divorced when i was very young. Made for great x-mas and stuff. A lot of back talk between the two but big deal right. Now to describe my parents to you. We'll start with my dad, since he is a little more to brag about.
My dad never had much direction in his life. His father died when he was 15 so that constant father he loved and feared had vanished leaving him to do as he pleased. And since he was born in 52, you guessed it, he was in his 20's during the 70's. Did you get all of that? Maybe you should read it again. Now I shouldn't have to tell you what most white males from the west were doing in the 70's. Because if you ask somebody who was alive in during that time, they won't remember. So the free love thing blah blah blah my dad had his first son, who was actually like his first brother, who is actually my brother but his son. So in a way, they actually grew up together. I remember when i was about 5, they went to an AC/DC concert together. My dad still has the dollar bill with Angus Young on it when they played "money talks". Which I think is very cool. My dad and I are also close, but I can't see myself going to see mxpx with him. All in all, for an a guy in his 50's hes pretty fuckin cool. So thats why i feel bad right now because i could end up fucking over his credit very badly if i don't start paying off my loan which he co-signed for. Yes, yet another thing you should be thankful for when it comes to your "asshole parents". I think that will turn out ok though. I should be able to start paying back on it really soon.
"You are the worst mother ever!". SLAM! Sound familiar. Either you have done that before or you saw it on a Lifetime original movie. Perhaps even 7th heaven. My mothers story is a bit different from my fathers. Which means i have a way entirly different relatioship with her. My mother is originally from Oklahoma. And if you have heard any bad things about what people do out there (mormons) then just apply them now so I don't have to say it. If you know what I'm talking about then you know that kind of shit will fuck up a persons mental stability. For all I know, my mom could have been the next president of the united fucking states. But now she is just an old lady who desperatly always needs a man in her life. Even if he is a drugged up border crosser.(her current husband). My mom had her first child when she was 16. She gave him up to My grandmother shortly after. I'm not sure how that story goes, i'm afraid to ask. Her next child wouldn't show for a couple more years. That would be my sister, perhaps she is the only reason i didn't kick the bucket many years ago. The man she had my sister and my brother with would abuse her because that was the thing to do back then when you had a dingy wife. It was legal and nobody talked about it. Which messed her up even more. Then 11 years later comes my dad and there was some more yelling and screaming and a baby that turned out to be me. They divorced a few years after I was born and the every other weekend thing happend. Then my mom met another guy and she moved. Then she met another guy and moved again. Then that guy bought a ranch so we moved again. Then they split up so she moved and i went to stay with my dad. Then mom moved to camp verde and so i moved again. But before I left I told my dad, I want to stay here dad, I don't like moving around so much. My dad kinda put his wild life aside for a second and got serious. Asked my mom if i could stay with my dad and she said no. Why she said no I would have never guessed. But then as time went on I figured it out. Anyway, I thought all hope was lost after that. I moved back with mom and we moved about 3 more times. The something strange happend. My dad started the every other weekend thing back up again. I got a lot of cool stuff when that happend. I was like all fucking right man. Got a dirt bike and shit. It was fucking rad. Then one day my dad asked me, "Phillip do you still want to come live here with me?". The thought of not moving around so much and having cool stuff totally outweighed moving around and not having shit. So I said of course.
I didn't know what I started though. A while passed and a summer came and went. My mom had told me that she was doing drugs but she said she had quit. Which doesn't really mean much to a 10 year old. I didn't know then that drugs were addicting. I only knew that they were bad. So then we switched towns one more time only this time i wasn't staying with mom. Oh no. I was staying with my grown up barely 20 years old sister. Who had a child of her own to fend for. Now she was taking care of me.
Anybody who has met my sister will tell you that she is a badass chick. If you met her in a dark alley you wouldn't fuck with her. So now i was living with my sister in a 16 foot camp trailer. Oh yes thats right, I said living. Thats a 20 year old woman, a 10 year old boy, and a 2 year old girl. In a 16 foot camp trailer. Did your mom ever send you to live in a 16 foot camp trailer??? I don't think so. But like I said, my sister is a badass. Always has been, always will be. Someday I want to ask her how she did it all though. Because now that I think about it, its really quite amazing. I can't remember what grade i was in, but every morning she would get me up for school, take me to school, she would go to college, i would get out of school and go to a baby sitter, she would go to work., then come get me and my neice. Thats a 15 hour day for those of you keeping track at home. After a while of staying in the mini camp trailer we upgraded into a larger setting. I think we were at 48 feet or so. I can't remember. But it had a shower and a toilet that weren't right on top of eachother. That was pretty cool shit right there. We stayed there for quite some time. Then mom and her new husband decided that they wanted to get an apartment. (I am probably leaving out a lot of thing but if we ever talk about this in person I'll try to fill everything in for you.) So I left my moved away from my sister, who was more of a mother to me than i ever have had.
Talk about timing. Probably in the exact second on the exact day a lawyer contacts my mom and tells her that my dad is going to get custody of me. Or something to that effect anyway. Now starts the tug-o-war. And i probably didn't do much good for either side. Because I was mainly telling them both what they wanted to hear. If my mom asked me who i wanted to stay with, I would have said her. When my dad would ask, i would have said him. But even when the day in court came and the judge asked, i said i wanted to stay with my dad.
You know how earlier I was talking about my dads little party past and such. Well the judge didn't like that at all, and pretty much decided that it was a bad idea that i stayed with my father. So I got to stay with my mom. Hooray me... I didn't like the outcome of the ruling, and my father, well he hated it. I'm not sure but i think he was tempting suiced or something of the sort. He wasn't a very happy person either way. I had a "every other weekend" with my dad and he had pretty much pissed away the majority of his money on beer. Pity party I guess. I told my dad that i still wanted to live with him but he was still grieving from the defeat I guess. So was I. I hated my mothers husband. I still do. At this very moment I hope he is outside freezing to death. Maybe then my mother will be free of his shackles. Anyway, that was the last time I would see my dad for a while. At least until the summer. I was going to get to stay with him for 2 months. The first month my dad was coming out of his grieving and what not. We went to the lake and did that kind of stuff. Good times. At the beginning of the first month my dad asked if i still wanted to live there. I said of course. Of course fucking of course. So then he told me about his idea. He said that he was going to offer my mom 3000 bucks for me. I wasn't affected by this at all. Money in trade for me. Sounds good. So the time came for me to go back and we arranged to meet half way and my dad talked to my mom, the first time since the trial, and made his offer. This is the part you may have expected. Yes she took it and I was now in my fathers custody. Well. I finally got to live a pretty normal life from there I guess. But what became of my mom? Nothing any better than the way I had left her I'll tell you that.
Lets skip ahead to now. Now I live in Phoenix. I have an apartment with a couple friends. I have a job were i get alright pay. I have my own vehichle. And at this very moment, I have to put a roof over my mothers head, because I am now the responsable adult. Funny how things work out huh. Thats all I got. I'll be back when i can't sleep again.
Philly Out.