LOG oo1; Jasper and Crysta...wherever they happen to be.

[feelingthirsty]

Who: Jasper and Crysta
What: discussing Beowulf in class
When: ...you know, I'm not actually sure
Where: a university classroom in Chicago
Info: In which Crysta is nearly late to class and, Jasper is a grumpbucket, but he could be worse.

Who: Jasper, Crysta, and a very foolish mugger
What: a mugger has a very bad night
When: later that night,

Comments

[crystamaye]

Everything had seemed to shift off balance since the moment their hands connected. There was electricity, a feeling so intense flowing through her she didn't think it could be possible from just holding hands.

Swallowing at his words, her breathing became a bit shallow and she tried to control it. Did he just call her attractive? She was losing focus fast on what they were talking about. She had to get a hold of herself. But it was so damn difficult to do with him looking at her like that.

The look in his eyes was almost playful behind the curtain of his hair, lips twisted up in that way that tempted her. After just a moment, a few seconds really, Crysta found herself lifting her free hand, fingers just barely brushing his forehead as she swept his hair back from his face slowly. "Well." She found her voice, though it was almost a whisper, low as she tried to gain back control of her raging emotions. Thank God that he apparently couldn't feel them. "That's...strange. I don't know why that is. Do you think it has to do with my ability?" There. She was going back on topic. Though her hand had drifted and her fingertips now ghosted at his cheek, feeling that smooth sculpted skin.

[feelingthirsty]

Now it was Jasper's turn to lose track of his thoughts. Her fingers were so warm on his skin, and the scent of her skin was...intoxicating. Surely all of these emotions rushing through him weren't just his own.

"I don't know." His voice was soft as well, his focus distracted by the scant few inches between her fingertips and his nose. This was so dangerous. He was so monstrously thirsty, and she was right here with him, alone and so very, very appealing...

It was all he could do to duck away from her touch, and to turn his head so that he could take in air that wasn't so contaminated by her scent. It was only a brief moment or two before he could give her an apologetic look, accompanied by a gentle squeeze of her hand.

"Careful. I have...indescribably poor self control."

[crystamaye]

There was a moment, as they sat there together, staring into each others eyes as Crysta's fingers rested on his cool cheek, that seemed to her like time froze for them. It was only a few seconds in reality, but it seemed so much longer than that to her.

And then the moment was gone and over, his face turning away from her touch as he took in a deep breath of air. Her hand seemed to float there, where she was once touching him, before she slowly pulled it back to herself, glad though that he still kept his grip on her other hand.

At his apologetic look, she gave him an understanding one instead, her thumb brushing over his knuckles lightly. "I trust you."

[feelingthirsty]

"You shouldn't."

Jasper's warning was stern, although he hated to have to give it to her. He didn't want her to fear him, but he wanted to hurt her even less, and he would do her absolutely no good pretending to be tame and harmless.

"I've lost control before. It's...something of a habit of mine." His look turned wry, though he didn't move his gaze from hers. He needed her to understand that this was serious. "People die around me all the time, and I don't always get to pick and choose who they are. I don't want you to be one of them."

And he didn't think she would be, as long as they were careful. That meant keeping the scent of her blood away from his nose and her skin away from his teeth, which should be easy enough. But it said nothing about the opposite.

He smiled softly, just a little tilt to his lips, and reached out with his free hand to brush some of her long red hair away from her face, his fingertips grazing her brow. He really couldn't get over how warm she was. The only time he'd ever really touched humans was to kill them, and then his mind was usually elsewhere. It was sad that they could never be more than friends, but Jasper simply didn't have the self control that Edward did, and didn't want to hurt Crysta in the long run anyway. It was probably for the best.

"I'm surprised you aren't taken yet. You're young, but you're hardly a child. I hope there isn't some dark secret you're keeping from me." His smile twisted again, amused, as he let his fingers drift carefully down her cheek. "Necrophilia, perhaps? I hope it isn't something too radical for me."

[crystamaye]

Always warning her, always trying to scare her off and yet not. She knew he really didn't want to scare her away, but she also knew he did want to protect her, mostly from himself.

And smart as Crysta was, she really did take his warnings to heart. It was just that damn instinct in her, the same one she should have had to be afraid of him, she just didn't have it to not trust him either. She knew full well what he must be capable of, saw his strength and his speed. Someone who could crush metal so easily...

But then here he was, brushing her unruly hair away from her face with a gentle touch, the wind having blown the strands there to tickle at her skin. Her breath caught and she felt her brow twitch the slightest beneath his fingertips.

Somewhere, hundreds of miles away, Alice was grinning like a Cheshire cat. Jasper, who always claimed to have little to no self control, was flirting with a human girl and even touching her.

Crysta in the mean time was back to struggling with breathing normally. His fingers left a cool and yet burning trail down her skin to her cheek, her eyes darkening a fraction as she looked into his face with an unwavering gaze. That was, until he brought up the notion of why she wasn't seeing anybody. Biting her lower lip, she lowered her gaze, lashes thick against her cheeks. "No, I don't have some dark secret Jas. Definitely not that." His teasing wasn't amusing to her, thank you very much. "I just-- I don't know, I've never had...time...for that. Dating. Or whatever. And it's not exactly like I have men vying for my attention anyways."

[feelingthirsty]

"I would tell you you're missing out, but I've seen the youth of your age," Jasper drawled with an amused smile, thoroughly entertained by this. She was embarrassed. Her pulse was pounding in his ears, and it was an oddly pleasing knowledge that he was the source of that, and easier to do when he didn't have to suffer through it too. Unfortunately, he wasn't a tease, and he wasn't cruel. He simply enjoyed having this power over her, without using his power at all.

"Back in my day it was called courting," he mused, "and it was supervised. I never had the time for it either." He let his fingers tumble down the side of her neck to to the soft, alluring patch of skin where he could feel her heart beating just beneath the skin. But as badly as he wanted to taste her blood, he harbored absolutely no desire to see any of it spilled. He considered that an improvement.

"You've hardly told me anything about yourself. I suppose I've been so focused on testing that gift of yours that I haven't given you the chance." Letting his hand fall from her shoulder, he reluctantly gave her room to think. As much as he liked seeing her all flustered, he knew better than to give her hope for something that was simply impossible. She was his prey. He would never trust himself to touch her.

[crystamaye]

He had a good point. Most men these days had no clue how to properly treat a woman. And there was the fact that Crysta was a hopeless romantic due to the many books filled with love stories that she had read.

Crysta though could tell he was having a great time teasing her. It was almost mean of him to do so if she didn't...like it, just a bit. But just for the look he got on his face. She loved the glint in his eyes and the way he smiled.

His touch was becoming increasingly distracting, the drift of his hand to her neck bringing a rise of goosebumps to her skin."You didn't?" Crysta found that shocking. Jasper didn't look at all like he could possibly have trouble with women. "Well, if you ever feel like getting around to it, I wouldn't mind being courted by someone like you." She smiled a bit, deciding if he could tease, she could too. Though he did it much better.

"Oh. Well. There isn't really much about me...what would you like to know?" She was disappointed when he finally stopped touching her, though a bit relieved because her thoughts were clouded when he did. She still clutched at his hand though, unwilling to give that up.

[feelingthirsty]

Perhaps he would have had the time if he hadn't chosen to run off to war instead. He might have settled down with a girl there, raised a family, lived a good life. Sometimes, every now and then, Jasper wished he'd done just that. But not right now.

"I was distracted by other things," he said simply, more concerned with her second statement. It made him grin a little, but also feel just slightly shy. If he was human, he would probably do just that. She had a strange ability to make him feel like a boy again, stripped of his usual confidence and secret knowledges about the people he interacted with. "And I'm afraid I probably wouldn't be much good at it, especially by today's standards. I couldn't even cook you dinner, unless you're especially fond of grits and old coffee." It didn't help that he was older than milk chocolate, or that little things like toasters and microwaves still amazed him when he took the time to stop and think.

Her disappointment wasn't lost on him, but he made no move to let go of her hand either, rather pleased that she hadn't pulled hers away was well. He hoped she couldn't see the scars on him, or see them either, for that matter. He wasn't sure how sharp her eyes were, or what kind of patterns they caught in the dappled sunlight. It had just been far too long.

"There's plenty about you," he assured her honestly. "Your family, your childhood, your hopes for the future. You said you wanted to be a writer. Do you write now?" He tried not to pry, but he was curious. What had molded Crysta into the intriguing young woman she was today?

[crystamaye]

The small grin that graced his lips had a wave of butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Although she may have been teasing, the prospect of Jasper courting her, of him wanting to, had her cheeks flushing a light pink. "Even so, I'm sure you'd be amazing. And I wouldn't expect you to cook anything either." Not for one second could she imagine Jasper feeling like a boy, especially on account of anything she may have done or said. He always seemed so self assured to her, so confident. Though some of that confidence did seem to allude him when he interacted with her, but now she just figured that had to do with his lack of feeling her.

Their fingers had shifted at some point, now linked together lightly. Her eyes flickered down, studying them for a moment. She had such a small hand compared to his own, his own long, pale fingers weaved with her tinier pink ones. And yet, despite the difference, they seemed to fit together perfectly. Her eyes did catch the glint of a crescent mark on the back of his hand, but she was rather fascinated by it. She did say anything about it though, eyes flickering up to meet his once more.

"Oh. Uhm." She was slightly flustered for a moment. He didn't really want to know these boring things, did he? "Well, I'm an only child. And you know where I grew up. It was a really small town, I felt entirely too...trapped there." And yet, even growing up in a town where everyone practically knew everyone else, she went relatively unnoticed there as well. Crysta had never been a very social person back then either. "I haven't exactly had time for recreational writing lately Jas. I think the last short story I wrote was...jeez, years ago."

[feelingthirsty]

It was so interesting for Jasper to watch the emotions play across her face without feeling them himself. At least, without feeling most of them. Beauty became something of a secondary feature when your focus in humans shifted from sex to blood, but it did occur to Jasper, as he watched that blush color her face with a small smile, that he'd happened across a very pretty one indeed. It made him feel rather selfish. He only looked the way he did because his appearance was a natural trap set to lure her in, and it was working. Wouldn't she be so much happier spending her time with a boy her own age, rather than with someone old enough to be called an ancestor? And here he was, encouraging her behavior because he was lonely. He would never forgive himself if he hurt her.

"Were I alive, I wouldn't hesitate." And that was the truth. He looked down at their hands as well, at the jarring contrast of her rosy pink flesh against his lifeless fingers. He could pursue this if he wanted. He saw all of the possibilities laid out before him like a splayed hand of cards, awaiting his call. He could flirt with Crysta endlessly, until he broke her heart when it finally hit home that flirting was all it could ever be. Or he could pursue a relationship with her, which would kill her eventually, one way or another--probably painfully. The only way to prevent that would be to turn her, to rip her away from her life and her family for a few short years--a decade, maybe?--of fun before the reality set in and she turned against him. Because Jasper doubted that she was his mate. Maria hadn't been and Alice hadn't been, and Jasper doubted he really had one at all.

That left breaking it off completely, which was probably the best course of action, or allowing some kind of lifelong friendship, which Jasper felt himself leaning towards more and more out of his own desperation and selfishness.

He didn't dare squeeze her hand, knowing his own strength, but it was a simple matter for him to trace the veins running across the back of it with his thumb, to feel that living pulse beat beneath his finger. "I'd be curious to see that," he said in reference to her story, with a glance up at her. He didn't dare let himself write lest he unleash the horrors he knew could come pouring out of his pen. "What do your parents think of your profession? Do they ever come to the city to visit you?"

[crystamaye]

The thing was, Crysta hadn't met a boy her age, and even if she had he wouldn't have been one that interested and kept her as captivated as Jasper did. As much as she told herself, over and over again in her head, to not be an idiot, to not hope and want this, him, she did anyways. She just couldn't help the way she felt when their hands touched like this. God it was pathetic of her, she knew.

What he said though made her smile though despite the blush, even though she understood full well what he meant. If he were alive. He didn't want to now.

Despite the odd pain now working it's way through her chest and snaking around her heart, the feel of his thumb rubbing lightly over her hand soothed her somewhat and she kept her gaze now averted from his own. She was being silly.

Blinking her eyes a few times, she finally managed to look back up at him with a slight smile, and with much difficulty, extracted her hand from his own and settled it in her lap.

"Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't want to. It wasn't very good, especially back then." She worked on an even tone, fingers flexing the slightest, missing his grip. "My parents have always been amazingly supportive of anything I do. They're great really. And they have been up here a few times, but I visit them more mostly. Holidays and things."

[feelingthirsty]

Jasper couldn't feel the pain winding its way through Crysta's chest, but he could see it written plain as day in the downward cast of her eyes and the way she pulled her hand from his grasp. That was to be expected; he shouldn't have flirted with her as he had. What wasn't expected was the stabbing thickness in his own heart, which was just a useless lump of unmoving muscle these days anyway.

It was difficult not to reach out and comfort her, physically if he couldn't use his abilities. Bad as that idea was, he really didn't like seeing people in pain, especially ones he cared for. And he did care for Crysta. Even if he ended up hurting her irreparably and they never spoke again, he knew he'd continue caring now that he'd started. It was a character flaw, a curse he'd lived with since he was human himself. Better to avoid humans entirely and avoid the heartache they inevitably caused, and that he inevitably caused them. Easier.

He withdrew his hand to his own lap, trying not to look at it. He could still feel the warmth. Her warmth. He was going to have to stop this now, before he got addicted. He wasn't very good at controlling his addictions.

"It's going to be dark soon." The sun was low over the horizon, partially hidden behind the tops of the forest on the other side of the river. His vision barely changed at all in the darkness, but he knew hers did. They should be getting back.

[crystamaye]

Dark. Yes, he was right. The rosy glow of the sun as it began to lower was a good indication, but she really didn't want to leave. It was just her and Jasper, secluded in this bubble almost. But bubbles eventually popped.

So nodding, she glanced towards the horizon, the odd hues the sun was throwing off washing over her face. "It is." She agreed, but didn't say anything about leaving. A small, desperate part of her, wanted to hold on to this, just for a little longer.