Eggy promted me... Inadvertently.
My fiancé and I- it's no secret- are ass-backwards. He's the mushy romantic, and I laugh at farts and dick jokes. (That isn't to say Fiancé doesn't laugh at farts and dick jokes; somehow, it's like he embodies a man and a woman at the same time. IDK how he does it, but it's probably best if we don't look too far into it.) So would anybody who knows us be that surprised to learn that I wanted to seal the deal at a courthouse (as in get married, not sex) and he wants a full-on wedding ceremony complete with vows and slow-dancing and feeding cake to each other?
The answer is no.
And yet, people seem so genuinely surprised and shocked when they find out. It's fairly amusing to them, I suppose. But most everybody's got real strong opinions on what our surname should be, and a vast majority of them are aghast that Fiancé would even consider taking my last name. "It should be enough for you," decries my mother, "that he'd even offer! Most men would laugh in your face if you suggested something like this!
But here are the facts: Fiancé (then Boyfriend) and I were talking Last Names when I mentioned that I have a very strong attachment to my name. He tentatively suggests, "I know it might take some getting used to... but maybe I could take your last name." From that moment until this one, I periodically ask him if he's sure that's what he wants to do, and the answer is always the same: yes. And as more time passes, emphatically yes. I ask him to think about how he might feel decades down the road, if he might resent me; he remains resolute. In the face of what his mother family might say or do, he adamantly insists on taking my last name. I've asked him to consider this thoroughly- and from every possible angle; he knows what it is he wants.
His mother- in her fury and pain- has resorted to saying all sorts of nasty things about me behind my back (which I am, by now, used to) to none other than Fiancé. Having heard her insults and accusations for the better part of half a year now, it's beginning to roll off of my back like water off a duck. I don't care what she says about me anymore because I've finally accepted that she may never like me and everything I do will most likely be misconstrued as manipulative and/or evil. But what does upset me is that she is intentionally hurting Fiancé. He calls me, the hurt palpable in his voice, and I have to patch up the damage she's done; I'm not sure what, exactly, she believes she's accomplishing by doing this, but I've about had e-damn-nough. I certainly don't want to make this situation worse, but I won't let her continually tear him down and try to dissolve our relationship/marriage.
The answer is no.
And yet, people seem so genuinely surprised and shocked when they find out. It's fairly amusing to them, I suppose. But most everybody's got real strong opinions on what our surname should be, and a vast majority of them are aghast that Fiancé would even consider taking my last name. "It should be enough for you," decries my mother, "that he'd even offer! Most men would laugh in your face if you suggested something like this!
But here are the facts: Fiancé (then Boyfriend) and I were talking Last Names when I mentioned that I have a very strong attachment to my name. He tentatively suggests, "I know it might take some getting used to... but maybe I could take your last name." From that moment until this one, I periodically ask him if he's sure that's what he wants to do, and the answer is always the same: yes. And as more time passes, emphatically yes. I ask him to think about how he might feel decades down the road, if he might resent me; he remains resolute. In the face of what his mother family might say or do, he adamantly insists on taking my last name. I've asked him to consider this thoroughly- and from every possible angle; he knows what it is he wants.
His mother- in her fury and pain- has resorted to saying all sorts of nasty things about me behind my back (which I am, by now, used to) to none other than Fiancé. Having heard her insults and accusations for the better part of half a year now, it's beginning to roll off of my back like water off a duck. I don't care what she says about me anymore because I've finally accepted that she may never like me and everything I do will most likely be misconstrued as manipulative and/or evil. But what does upset me is that she is intentionally hurting Fiancé. He calls me, the hurt palpable in his voice, and I have to patch up the damage she's done; I'm not sure what, exactly, she believes she's accomplishing by doing this, but I've about had e-damn-nough. I certainly don't want to make this situation worse, but I won't let her continually tear him down and try to dissolve our relationship/marriage.