Tidus...I loved you both...it's not as if I meant for it to happen...I-...I never wanted it to go like this...I swear, the minute you stepped off that train, you were all I wanted... Yeah. I guess he does...better than I did...NO, Tidus! NO! I never wanted to hurt you...Especially not like this.
I...I know I am Tidus..I know...everyone on the face of Sanzensekai has informed me of how much of an bastard I am, alright? Tidus-HOW THE FUCK COULD I HAVE KNOWN THIS WOULD HAPPEN?! You talked to him right!? Did he tell you how much I just fucking wanted him to say he hated me!? Did he tell you how much I just fucking wanted him to tell me that he wanted nothing to do with me!? So I could forget what I felt for him, did you know all that!? Oh stop, I wasn't stringing you along, dammit! I fucking loved you, worshipped you even. I-I-UGH.
IS THAT WHO YOU THINK I AM!? Is that how....you really thought of me...the whole time? Just a loose little fucker right? A modern-fucking swinger... *bitter* And I tried to stop it! and I didn't want for anything to go like this! but what the fuck do you care!?
You forgot “at least until Yazoo came around”. Well you had an interesting way of showing it.. So if Zexion was right, that you -did- do it on purpose, then what the hell other reason is their other then to hurt me?
Are you sure you really know? Do you have any idea how much of a chance I took with you? That I loved you more then I’ve loved anyone or anything else? Ever? I-I don’t know why I even bothered! You’re the same as everyone else. Good! You deserve every insult you get! *shocked silent for a moment* …No… he didn’t say anything about… that. DON’T EVEN-!!! If you loved me that much… you wouldn- couldn’t have kissed him!!!! How… How can you even SAY something like that?!?!
Isn’t that what you wanted? Isn’t that how you TRIED to come across? …Maybe it is! Maybe that’s the way I’ve seen you since the very first second I met you. HOW IS KISSING HIM TRYING TO STOP IT?!?!
You...just can't get it through your thick head, can you!? I. Did. Not. Want. This. I...don't know what to think about what Zexion said. I don't know if I did....I didn't want to...It's...
I...I don't know to say...I know 'I'm sorry' doesn't cut it... *wince* Yes, yes I do. I did...I really, really did...But you don't see that, do you? I went after you too, you know. But of course, you didn't see that either... Because it's true goddammit! It's TRUE. Whether you fucking want to believe that I wanted this or not, it's TRUE. I -loved- you! Why won't you fucking listen!?
I thought that you of all people would've seen past that...I thought if you knew better, it didn't matter what anyone else thought. ...is it?
I needed the denial! I needed him to hate me! To tell me no! To tell me, so I could forget what I felt and only feel anything for you! I..Oh fuck you!
It was the truth though, wasn’t it? And that… doesn’t change the fact that it happened. It’s?…Fine. Be cryptic or whatever. See if I care.
I’m not asking you to say anything. I don’t want your apologizes anyway. I just… I… I don’t even know anymore. How was I suppos- Wait. You…you did what? I- What the hell is love to you then? I -AM- listening! I’ve heard everything thing you’ve said. But I don’t understand you!!!! I… I can’t…….because…. it’s easier… if you didn’t.
Me of all people? What are you talking about? We were together for two months. You tell me a little about how you grew up and I’m automatically supposed to understand everything about you? I guess that wasn’t one of your brightest ideas. …..Yes.
And he did. So did everything turn out like you intended then, Irvine?
... I...I tried to catch you..before you got on the train...I-*is a loser and trying not to cry some* L-love? I...I'm sorry...*gets up from computer*
*comes back 5 minutes later* ...I never told any of that to anyone...not...a single person..oh Ramuh.. No...no I guess it wasn't very bright... *completely just out of it now* Oh...
Yeah. I guess he does...better than I did...NO, Tidus! NO! I never wanted to hurt you...Especially not like this.
I...I know I am Tidus..I know...everyone on the face of Sanzensekai has informed me of how much of an bastard I am, alright?
Tidus-HOW THE FUCK COULD I HAVE KNOWN THIS WOULD HAPPEN?! You talked to him right!? Did he tell you how much I just fucking wanted him to say he hated me!? Did he tell you how much I just fucking wanted him to tell me that he wanted nothing to do with me!? So I could forget what I felt for him, did you know all that!?
Oh stop, I wasn't stringing you along, dammit! I fucking loved you, worshipped you even. I-I-UGH.
IS THAT WHO YOU THINK I AM!? Is that how....you really thought of me...the whole time? Just a loose little fucker right? A modern-fucking swinger...
*bitter* And I tried to stop it! and I didn't want for anything to go like this! but what the fuck do you care!?
Reply
Well you had an interesting way of showing it..
So if Zexion was right, that you -did- do it on purpose, then what the hell other reason is their other then to hurt me?
Are you sure you really know? Do you have any idea how much of a chance I took with you? That I loved you more then I’ve loved anyone or anything else? Ever? I-I don’t know why I even bothered! You’re the same as everyone else.
Good! You deserve every insult you get!
*shocked silent for a moment* …No… he didn’t say anything about… that.
DON’T EVEN-!!! If you loved me that much… you wouldn- couldn’t have kissed him!!!! How… How can you even SAY something like that?!?!
Isn’t that what you wanted? Isn’t that how you TRIED to come across? …Maybe it is! Maybe that’s the way I’ve seen you since the very first second I met you.
HOW IS KISSING HIM TRYING TO STOP IT?!?!
Reply
I...don't know what to think about what Zexion said. I don't know if I did....I didn't want to...It's...
I...I don't know to say...I know 'I'm sorry' doesn't cut it...
*wince* Yes, yes I do.
I did...I really, really did...But you don't see that, do you? I went after you too, you know. But of course, you didn't see that either...
Because it's true goddammit! It's TRUE. Whether you fucking want to believe that I wanted this or not, it's TRUE. I -loved- you! Why won't you fucking listen!?
I thought that you of all people would've seen past that...I thought if you knew better, it didn't matter what anyone else thought.
...is it?
I needed the denial! I needed him to hate me! To tell me no! To tell me, so I could forget what I felt and only feel anything for you! I..Oh fuck you!
Reply
It’s?…Fine. Be cryptic or whatever. See if I care.
I’m not asking you to say anything. I don’t want your apologizes anyway. I just… I… I don’t even know anymore.
How was I suppos- Wait. You…you did what?
I- What the hell is love to you then? I -AM- listening! I’ve heard everything thing you’ve said. But I don’t understand you!!!! I… I can’t…….because…. it’s easier… if you didn’t.
Me of all people? What are you talking about? We were together for two months. You tell me a little about how you grew up and I’m automatically supposed to understand everything about you? I guess that wasn’t one of your brightest ideas.
…..Yes.
And he did. So did everything turn out like you intended then, Irvine?
((ooc: Annnnnnd see Tidus LIE))
Reply
...
I...I tried to catch you..before you got on the train...I-*is a loser and trying not to cry some*
L-love? I...I'm sorry...*gets up from computer*
*comes back 5 minutes later*
...I never told any of that to anyone...not...a single person..oh Ramuh.. No...no I guess it wasn't very bright...
*completely just out of it now* Oh...
*very quietly*no...
Reply
Irvine… I…
…You didn’t? Wait. Wait! I- Irvine I didn’t mean that… I-
Yeah...
I…I thought so.
Reply
S-sorry. I have to, go to work...
I-*wiping eyes like an emo!whore* I'm gonna be late...
Reply
O-Oh… *shaky sigh* Right. O-Okay.
Reply
Leave a comment