blaaaaaaaaaah....
This week/weekend... might just KILL me
I don't know how to cope anymoree..:(
There is no time for fun this weekend...there is not time to do anything.
The only person I have bought a present for is my secret sister..the clock is ticking, and I have no ideas, actually scratch that - I have no money for presents
Poms Performance tonight - you better be there*
My crAzy weekend:
- Poms Performance tonight.. this includes arriving two hours early, braiding people's hair, and staying for the whole game.. in uniform, mind you
- Go home and sleep because I am getting sick and I don't have any friends anways
- ACTS bright and early...have to be there by 7am..not only will these determine what college I can go to, it always determines how pissed my mom will be at me. She has been yelling at me all week to study, and I haven't - so basically, if i come home with a shitty score..I am screwed.
- Poms clinic, right after I take the ACTS, lunch in between with the girls would be nice - but who knows if I have time to breathe this weekend...
- Mad Homework.. for a whole hour and a half
- Meet the new babysitting people, they have a cute baby, so this shouldn't be too bad
- Babysit for a different family for the evening
- Work at 7am.. notice a pattern.. i NEVER get to sleep in this weekend
- Go to Laurel Park Place to get my NHS hours done for the semester
- BBG meeting so they don't kick me out of the chapter
- Homework.. and do that stupid EDCP thing so my couselour stops hunting me down
I know, this bitching doesn't solve anything..
But I feel somewhat better.. actually- thats a lie, but oh well
I miss the way things used to be. I had a "place" and now.. my world is crumbling. I don't feel like I matter. And I have that damn saviour symdrome thing, and I NEED to be needed, and I am not anymore. Its my fault. I want to feel included
Nothing wants to go my way anymore...