The Cause of I

[feedacatownacat]

It takes some steel to wake up, look into the mirror and see myself. It takes some small amount of courage to brave the day, to speak what I think, to feel as much as I do, to blast out everything I stand for. It takes a fleshing out of vision to suit myself in ideals, to armor myself with a cause I feel so strongly for, to bear the brunt of its defeat- the cause of I.

What must I do to survive here? I’m told daily I am not someone wanted, by the papers, by the news, by the casual dismissal glances of old money hags, professional wives with their gaggle of spoilt youth, looked down by those who feel themselves better than me, who stand taller than me physically, by those who call me sweetheart names (cute red head), (little girl) (sweetie). If you knew me, you’d know I burn.

But I’m not afraid of failure, its common enough. I refuse to dwell on the common, but the unusual, the extraordinary. You only fail when you stop trying. No one can be an instant expert on everything.

The sun filtered
Through shades and leaves
Sparks a flicker

If I close my eyes I can feel the light
A brush on the eyelid
Like a kiss from a lover-
A different kind of sun to orbit

But when the times comes
And you must die
I must die
I cannot have life
But from your life

I orbit and dwell
Half lit, half dark
Half flicker, half full
A planet on your plane

But the sun is bright
And I am alive!