One does not simply walk into Mordor...
Because I am awesome, I arranged a Lord of the Rings marathon at the weekend, and because I am possibly the best person who ever did baking ever, I made LEMBAS BREAD.
I googled around for a recipe and found the website Middle Earth Recipes
I had to veganise it and have adjusted the method accordingly, but it was pretty easy:
6 tbsps margarine, slightly softened
2 cups self-rising flour
3 tbsp granulated sugar (recipe called for 1 tbsp, I used 2 and I still don't think it was sweet enough
1 'egg', made up from replacement powder, I use Ener-G.
½ cup soya milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 tbsps soya whipping cream (eg Granovita), use straight from carton
Mallorn leaves :)
With a pastry blender or fork, cut margarine into the flour in a mixing bowl until the mixture resembles cornmeal. Do this rapidly so the margarine does not melt. Add the sugar. In a small bowl, beat the 'egg', soya milk and vanilla together until mixed. Reserve 1 tbsp of this mixture to brush the tops of the Lembas. Add the cream and egg mixture to the flour and mix just until combined into a stiff, soft dough. Knead three or four times on a lightly floured surface. Roll dough to a ¾" thickness and cut with an oval or leaf shaped cookie cutter (I had to cut mine out with a blunt knife as I had misplaced all our cutters). Place on a lightly greased baking sheet, leaving 1" of space between Lembas. Brush the tops of the Lembas with the reserved egg-milk mixture. Bake for 12-13 minutes in a preheated 400F/220oC (200oC for fan assisted ovens) oven.
For safe keeping, wrap each Lembas individually in a fresh, clean Mallorn leaf. If these leaves are unavailable in your area, store the Lembas in a tightly closed container. Makes about 1 ½ dozen Lembas.
Yes I know I should have left them as squares, with an indentation so you can break them into triangles, but I kind of... didn't.
I got the template for the Mallorn leaf HERE. I had to biggen it slightly before I printed it out, and it was still a little small but nm.
Taste-wise, they came out pretty well! Like a plain scone. Next time I will use more sugar and probably cinnamon or something. We ate them in time with the hobbits, and offered Sam some when Gollum had chucked their rations down the stairs at Minas Morgol. Yes.
I also made cornflake cakes, each with their own speshul meaning to the books/films.
OK: The cornflake cakes themselves are crebain nests, and the decorations (vegan chocolate buttons) on the first column stood for the jewels in Smaug's lair, but the guys said they could also stand for the three battles at Isengard, Helm's Deep and Minas Tirith. The next decorations (vegan marshmallows, SO good) I said were crebain eggs, even though they were square, lol, then a better idea was suggested, that they were chunks of masonry from Osgiliath/Minas Tirith. The last decorations, the glace cherries, stood for the Eye of Sauron.
I also made sausage rolls but couldn't think of a LotR reference for them, so therefore they are boring and don't deserve pictures (extremely tasty though).
It was sad that Katie couldn't come, but I made up for it by doing all the things we usually do. Like quoting the pigs from Shrek ("Play ze movie! Ja, play ze movie!"), quoting along with Boromir's Mordor speech at the Council of Elrond, saying "That's you, that is" whenever Uruk-hais appeared, et cetera et cetera. I don't think I annoyed anyone too much... :)
I'm sure I had other things to say, but LotR squee has pushed it all out of my head.
Life is good in general :D
ETA: I can't believe I don't have a LotR icon. Epic fail.
I googled around for a recipe and found the website Middle Earth Recipes
I had to veganise it and have adjusted the method accordingly, but it was pretty easy:
6 tbsps margarine, slightly softened
2 cups self-rising flour
3 tbsp granulated sugar (recipe called for 1 tbsp, I used 2 and I still don't think it was sweet enough
1 'egg', made up from replacement powder, I use Ener-G.
½ cup soya milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 tbsps soya whipping cream (eg Granovita), use straight from carton
Mallorn leaves :)
With a pastry blender or fork, cut margarine into the flour in a mixing bowl until the mixture resembles cornmeal. Do this rapidly so the margarine does not melt. Add the sugar. In a small bowl, beat the 'egg', soya milk and vanilla together until mixed. Reserve 1 tbsp of this mixture to brush the tops of the Lembas. Add the cream and egg mixture to the flour and mix just until combined into a stiff, soft dough. Knead three or four times on a lightly floured surface. Roll dough to a ¾" thickness and cut with an oval or leaf shaped cookie cutter (I had to cut mine out with a blunt knife as I had misplaced all our cutters). Place on a lightly greased baking sheet, leaving 1" of space between Lembas. Brush the tops of the Lembas with the reserved egg-milk mixture. Bake for 12-13 minutes in a preheated 400F/220oC (200oC for fan assisted ovens) oven.
For safe keeping, wrap each Lembas individually in a fresh, clean Mallorn leaf. If these leaves are unavailable in your area, store the Lembas in a tightly closed container. Makes about 1 ½ dozen Lembas.
Yes I know I should have left them as squares, with an indentation so you can break them into triangles, but I kind of... didn't.
I got the template for the Mallorn leaf HERE. I had to biggen it slightly before I printed it out, and it was still a little small but nm.
Taste-wise, they came out pretty well! Like a plain scone. Next time I will use more sugar and probably cinnamon or something. We ate them in time with the hobbits, and offered Sam some when Gollum had chucked their rations down the stairs at Minas Morgol. Yes.
I also made cornflake cakes, each with their own speshul meaning to the books/films.
OK: The cornflake cakes themselves are crebain nests, and the decorations (vegan chocolate buttons) on the first column stood for the jewels in Smaug's lair, but the guys said they could also stand for the three battles at Isengard, Helm's Deep and Minas Tirith. The next decorations (vegan marshmallows, SO good) I said were crebain eggs, even though they were square, lol, then a better idea was suggested, that they were chunks of masonry from Osgiliath/Minas Tirith. The last decorations, the glace cherries, stood for the Eye of Sauron.
I also made sausage rolls but couldn't think of a LotR reference for them, so therefore they are boring and don't deserve pictures (extremely tasty though).
It was sad that Katie couldn't come, but I made up for it by doing all the things we usually do. Like quoting the pigs from Shrek ("Play ze movie! Ja, play ze movie!"), quoting along with Boromir's Mordor speech at the Council of Elrond, saying "That's you, that is" whenever Uruk-hais appeared, et cetera et cetera. I don't think I annoyed anyone too much... :)
I'm sure I had other things to say, but LotR squee has pushed it all out of my head.
Life is good in general :D
ETA: I can't believe I don't have a LotR icon. Epic fail.