The night wants to kiss you deep and be on his way
Wanna know something? I am sick to death of school, and I'm one of those crazy kids that always liked school. However, I'm finishing up my 18th year of school, and it's getting kind of old. I guess I always thought the assignments would get better or eventually I'll be stimulated to learn on my own. However, I'm just burned out on it. I haven't even started my research paper that will hopefully be the building block for my thesis. I'm interested in this topic! Really really interested, but I still want my time to be my time. I know it's not just me feeling this. My cohort (minus a few) also puts assignments off until the last minute, whines about the work, etc. etc. Jordan is so busy with work I wonder how much I'll be able to see him as the piles on his desk get taller. There's a difference though. Jordan is motivated to work. He always has been. He's like Pat and Eddie who just do it; they don't procrastinate; they get ahead. As much as I've always said that I'm going to get ahead this time (whatever that time happened to be). It never happens. I pretty much dread doing homework because it's boring and seems to drain the very life from me. Just a few more weeks...then one more year...
On to a better note, the conference in Florida was unbelievable. Albeit, my colleagues and I didn't take advantage of the conference activities as much as we should have, but we did take advantage of the pool and sun. Go ahead and judge me all you want for taking the conference for granted, but I had a good time, and got a lot out of the programs I did attend. I guess one of the main deterants to going to more programs is my inability to stay awake during presentations. I generally make it through class, but in most of the programs I was fighting my eyelids. I think something may be wrong with me. It might have been the screwy sleep schedule or my poor diet over the trip, but I thought it was better for me to miss presentations than fall asleep in them. That's just rude even though there wasn't much I could do about it.
Al Gore's opening address on global warming was fabulous, and I'm really happy I went. It was long, but I was engaged every minute of it. I'm glad I didn't see "An Inconvenient Truth" beforehand, because I guess it was the same as the movie. There were definitely thinking points in there, and as a side note, Al Gore should be a stand up comedian. Hilarious. No joke. Who knew he had it in him?
I really enjoyed the program on body image, because, well, I love body image issues. It actually refocused me in my own body image issues lately. I'd been trying to lose 10 pounds by eating less and exercising. It wasn't doing much because I was already eating well, but by thinking about how I couldn't have food, made me probably eat about the same amount. I guess the presentation helped me re-realize that the thin-ideal in our culture is not realistic. As long as I'm healthy (and I'm getting much more healthy with the workouts), who cares what I look like? I still say that 135 is the weight my body wants to be. I've maintained it for several years with little to no effort. It was the weight I was before I gained weight pre-college, and it was the weight I naturally went to when I returned to my normal habits. I think I could weigh less, but I'd be miserable trying to keep it up. And why do I need to weigh less? To please the male gaze? To fit some notion of beauty that realistically isn't obtainable and that I honestly don't even find beautiful anyway? I think I just got sucked into how I should be according to the media and not how I naturally am. I'm beautiful, sexy, hot, cute, attractive, etc, etc, the way I am thank you very much.
Side note: I am loving getting into shape though whether or not it makes me skinny. I can run a mile and a half now (probably more if I had more time), I curl 17's (that's 17 lbs per arm), and I can do 40 situps on the decline. Those are my major milestones. I can probably kick a whole lot of ass :-p
I'd write more on the conference, but there's too much to write. I'll just say that I had a lovely time hanging out with the girls. The Fe(i)der room was pretty much unstoppable, and we went to a movie-esque party. Good times.