And you won't give up the search for the ghosts in the halls
I never thought I'd write/say this, but I'd like to go back and have another look at those hallucinations of mine. I have a few reasons for thinking something so stupid. Once that whole fiasco was over I swore I'd do my best to not relive it, and yet here I am going through my old journals trying to remember what I saw when I was losing my mind. I'm doing it to help someone though. I'm not trying to dive back into madness. I'm trying to help Bellatrix, because she's a friend and the only other person who can actually relate to what I had gone through.
But god, where do I begin? How do I help her? I need to get back to what I saw; try and find the connection between me and her. We saw the same damn things. I didn't make it up, she didn't make it up, we were seeing the same stuff. How can two separate minds imagine the same...well, I'll call it a parallel universe of sorts. But how?
There's got to be some precedent. I'm a history professor...former professor, I'm sure I can find some historical record of this happening before to people. First though, first I've got to go through my notes and my journals and remember all those terrible things.
Maybe. Maybe if I can find a way to see these things again without giving myself a concussion, I can figure out how to stop this thing from taking over Bellatrix. It's a long shot. It's all a long shot. It's just another thing for me to worry about too, on top of Rita and Abigail and finishing this damn Cathedral. The tracery in the apse is starting to crack, and they want me to hire a mason to fix it. I'm balancing this with everything else, and now I'm thinking about making myself ill again.
If it could happen to Bellatrix, it might happen to me again. I can't afford to be mad. Just looking at Bella and Dorcas makes my nerves shatter - two young children and now their lives are in ruins. No, no. Can't let that happen.
Need to talk to you, mate.
Any updates?