(no subject)
well you know it's been several months since i wrote in here but i really need to vent today. a little while after i stopped writing i started to like a girl named Ariel. Ariel is on my water polo team, we went to california together for a tournament a started to really like her so i got her number and we started hanging out. BTW the first time i asked to go to the movies with me she stated that she did not want a relationship and so it would only be as friends/ we hung out every weeked for about the next month and a half with me never stopping likeing her and actually likeing her even more. At this point she is claiming that she still does not want a relationship only to tell me 3 days later that she has had a botfriend for the last 3 weeks. i was hurt by this but i got over it in about a day and we went out to dinner the next night and such continueing on with our friendship. At this point i am still hoping that i have a miniscule chance of somedayt getting with her. Just recently we went to another water polo tournament in texas at which on the last night everyone excluding myself got drunk. she hooked up with another guy on my team named tyler. at this point it's only a rumer i had heard so i asked her about it the night we got back and she told me no she didn't hook up wth him. well i was talking to tyler today and he told me the storyt of them hooking up so i IMed it on to her and she said "oh" at whitch point i went why do you lie to me? and the stated never mind i'm going to dinner. i don't even know why i am so hurt by this. maybe it's because i think for the first time in my life i am actually in love and it hurts so much jujst cause she wants to be nothing more then friends if that i can't really tell right now. now i'm kinda down and my parents took me out for my birthday dinnerr (my b-day really tommorow but whatever)and they were jumping on me for not being happy and bringing everyone else down and all this other bullshit that i really don't care about right now. Ariel always says that i am one of her best friends, but what i don't get is if i'm one of her best friends why can't she tell me whats going on in her life? i mean i completly understand that she is way out of my league i mean she is so smart she's funny (even in the sarcastic way like me), and on top of that she is amazingly pretty. i knew going into this that i had about a 2% chance to begin with and then she got a boyfriend but you know i still had a chance if they ever broke up. but now she can't even tell me what's happening in her life without lieing so i'm assuming that my official chance with her is 0. well i had no one else to bitch about that to so i guess you livejopurnal readers can read it and tell me what a loser i am. I find it funny that i always tell people that people who lie to you arn't worth your time and they tell me but i like them so much. you may be why is that funy but the reason is ois because i always make fun of them cause they follow feelings not logic that the person will hurt themn over and over angain but now i understand that i was the idiot. i mean ariel could kick me in the nuts every day and that woul;d hurt (not only physically but mentally as well) and i would still look forward to seeing her every day even though it would only cause more pain. well i am now done bitching and if you read this it has probably been a glorious waste of time. well thatnks for being there livejournal even if i only write oncve every 3 or 4 months