(no subject)
So, it's official. I got my passport in the mail on Saturday, so there's nothing stopping me from going on tour! I've got my tour paid off (actually, I had that done LONG ago...) and I've got (LOTS OF) spending money, and my passport. Mom bought me some new summer clothes a couple weeks ago. So...yeah!
June 1, I'll be off like a rocket. And unreachable for 10 days. No phone, no e-mail...just the white sand beaches and crystal blue water of Cozumel, Disney World, and me. And like 26 other girls and Doug and Bill and Stacy. But yeah. Kick. Ass.
All I have left to do is buy random toiletry crap, and pack. And I'm off. Oh, and get my massive eyebrows waxed. Sweet Jeebus.
My friend scene has changed. It used to be me, Angela, and Joey. All the time. Now, not so much...
For a while, Angela ditched me and Joey to hang out with Alex (who has always been emotionally manipulating, especially with her) and his friends...her new friends...Holly, Lauren, and Josh. After that, there was a big falling out, resulting in Angela calling Joey at almost 3am, bawling her eyes out, and him repeating everything the both of us had already told her. So, for a while, we were good again. Not great, but good. Then, she started to hang out more with Josh and Holly than me and Joey. She also has a new boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her, but she's putting dicks before chicks, just like she was doing when she was crushing on Josh and she was still talking to Alex. I rarely ever see her, or hear from her. We're both really busy, and I know that. But you'd think she'd call. I was the one that called for a while, and then I would get less and less returned calls. I thought she would have called to ask what was up, why I haven't been calling. Guess not. And I was at her work the other day, and she was there. She told me that her dad had just bought her the shirt that I was wearing. Before, it would have been great, and we might have planned a day to go somewhere with the shirts, but I had this horrible "eww, she has this one, too!" feeling. I hate that. And I also didn't like how things, places, phrases that we shared, just me and her, and us and Joey shared, were now cool, and visited, and used by people I really don't care much for. It just makes me sad.
What does piss me off, though, is how flaky she's been through all this. She helped dress with me for "Christmas Is..." this year, and then I talked her into joining Women's Ensemble to do my last pop show with me. Right after, all this Alex/Holly/Lauren/Josh stuff happened, and she was MIA for like 2 weeks. Then she came back, and we finished out the year, but it just wasn't the same, and I started to feel regret, like I shouldn't have convinced her to join. After pop show, she went MIA again. She says that they're promoting her, and that she hadn't been going to class because of extra training and her crazy work schedule, but I think I would have told my employer "look, it's super that you think I'm ready for a promotion, but can you hold off on this training until my school semester is done?" Women's is a group, but it's also a class that she signed up for and took the responsibility of. And because she was my friend, and the one I got to join, it looks bad on me, like all my friends are flakier than a really good croissant.
Am I being selfish? I don't know. I'm kinda glad that this little break in our friendship happened. But I know it'll never be the same.
Joey and I are still close, but we're both way busy and don't talk much anymore. Plus, we both use up all of our minutes on random people, and we always run out and can't always call out. But, that's what work phones are for, no? He's got his new guy, and I haven't even met him yet. I feel bad, but we're both running around like crazed chickens. It's insanity. But it'll get better.
I've been spending lots of time with Jessica lately. Jessica and I have been in Women's for 3 years, and we just got close over the last semester. It's kinda sad, because she's super awesome and totally fun, but I really haven't known her for the last 2 years. She's considering joining Singers (as am I) so maybe we'll get our chance yet.
Boys are...the devil. I had a crush on this guy earlier in the year, but that faded fast. The excitement wore away, and I just didn't like him anymore. And I don't care who knows that. Then, there's the guy who I kinda used to date, but never took too seriously. He's still hung up on me, and wants to start something again. Meh, I don't know. It was fun, but I never tried to make too much out of it. Plus, he's leaving for 3 months to do something fabulous and wonderful in Utah, and we won't see each other. Part of me hopes he can use the time to sort his feelings out, and maybe just move on...and then part of me really did have fun with him and wants to see him come back and pick things up where we left off. I think it's just me not letting go, too. Other than all that, I'm just a girl who spends her nights at home in her mother's bed with her cats. Oh, the excitement. (someone take me away!)
I really don't know how my summer is going to work. I know that I'm still a box-office flunky, at least for the time being. I don't think I'm going to be picking up any usher shifts, unless they need people and I need money. I'm working with CSC this year, since Doug had the hip replacement and Kelly is going to Europe for most of July. But that's mainly mornings, leaving my afternoons/nights/weekends free. I want to go back to DCA, but my original plan included me having a car by now. True, I could steal mom's, but I hate that fucking van. With my crackhead jobs, I don't have the money for a car or insurance, so there's that. Plus, I really don't like all the stuff I've been hearing about my area. I just don't know if I want to go back to that area. For a while, I've been kicking around transferring out, but I don't know about that. But, what I'm thinking is that I might have to give up Disney for a bit more, which sucks ass for me. If I do get into Singers, and accept, it would be damn near impossible for me to hold down a Disney job and participate in the program. This is the part where I have to really think, and decide whether or not I want to pursue performing. I love it, and if I do Singers for even just a year and then decide it's not for me, I come out with the experience, and at the very least, better performance skills. But I also love working at DLR. It's the spirit, the magic. I revel in the cheesy-goodness that is Disney. Hell, I don't think I can watch a Disney movie, visit a Disney park, or listen to a Disney soundtrack without crying like a little bitch. But, in some sick, sad way, I kind of like it. But I don't know. I don't know what I want to do. No, I know what I want to do, it just isn't looking possibile...probable. Oy. So it's looking like I'm going to be finding some random, trained monkey, slave job for the summer. Ugh. I hate that.
If you've made it this far, congrats. I owe you a cookie.
It's time to put my tired mind to bed. Sweet dreams!
At least I don't have classes tomorrow...
June 1, I'll be off like a rocket. And unreachable for 10 days. No phone, no e-mail...just the white sand beaches and crystal blue water of Cozumel, Disney World, and me. And like 26 other girls and Doug and Bill and Stacy. But yeah. Kick. Ass.
All I have left to do is buy random toiletry crap, and pack. And I'm off. Oh, and get my massive eyebrows waxed. Sweet Jeebus.
My friend scene has changed. It used to be me, Angela, and Joey. All the time. Now, not so much...
For a while, Angela ditched me and Joey to hang out with Alex (who has always been emotionally manipulating, especially with her) and his friends...her new friends...Holly, Lauren, and Josh. After that, there was a big falling out, resulting in Angela calling Joey at almost 3am, bawling her eyes out, and him repeating everything the both of us had already told her. So, for a while, we were good again. Not great, but good. Then, she started to hang out more with Josh and Holly than me and Joey. She also has a new boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her, but she's putting dicks before chicks, just like she was doing when she was crushing on Josh and she was still talking to Alex. I rarely ever see her, or hear from her. We're both really busy, and I know that. But you'd think she'd call. I was the one that called for a while, and then I would get less and less returned calls. I thought she would have called to ask what was up, why I haven't been calling. Guess not. And I was at her work the other day, and she was there. She told me that her dad had just bought her the shirt that I was wearing. Before, it would have been great, and we might have planned a day to go somewhere with the shirts, but I had this horrible "eww, she has this one, too!" feeling. I hate that. And I also didn't like how things, places, phrases that we shared, just me and her, and us and Joey shared, were now cool, and visited, and used by people I really don't care much for. It just makes me sad.
What does piss me off, though, is how flaky she's been through all this. She helped dress with me for "Christmas Is..." this year, and then I talked her into joining Women's Ensemble to do my last pop show with me. Right after, all this Alex/Holly/Lauren/Josh stuff happened, and she was MIA for like 2 weeks. Then she came back, and we finished out the year, but it just wasn't the same, and I started to feel regret, like I shouldn't have convinced her to join. After pop show, she went MIA again. She says that they're promoting her, and that she hadn't been going to class because of extra training and her crazy work schedule, but I think I would have told my employer "look, it's super that you think I'm ready for a promotion, but can you hold off on this training until my school semester is done?" Women's is a group, but it's also a class that she signed up for and took the responsibility of. And because she was my friend, and the one I got to join, it looks bad on me, like all my friends are flakier than a really good croissant.
Am I being selfish? I don't know. I'm kinda glad that this little break in our friendship happened. But I know it'll never be the same.
Joey and I are still close, but we're both way busy and don't talk much anymore. Plus, we both use up all of our minutes on random people, and we always run out and can't always call out. But, that's what work phones are for, no? He's got his new guy, and I haven't even met him yet. I feel bad, but we're both running around like crazed chickens. It's insanity. But it'll get better.
I've been spending lots of time with Jessica lately. Jessica and I have been in Women's for 3 years, and we just got close over the last semester. It's kinda sad, because she's super awesome and totally fun, but I really haven't known her for the last 2 years. She's considering joining Singers (as am I) so maybe we'll get our chance yet.
Boys are...the devil. I had a crush on this guy earlier in the year, but that faded fast. The excitement wore away, and I just didn't like him anymore. And I don't care who knows that. Then, there's the guy who I kinda used to date, but never took too seriously. He's still hung up on me, and wants to start something again. Meh, I don't know. It was fun, but I never tried to make too much out of it. Plus, he's leaving for 3 months to do something fabulous and wonderful in Utah, and we won't see each other. Part of me hopes he can use the time to sort his feelings out, and maybe just move on...and then part of me really did have fun with him and wants to see him come back and pick things up where we left off. I think it's just me not letting go, too. Other than all that, I'm just a girl who spends her nights at home in her mother's bed with her cats. Oh, the excitement. (someone take me away!)
I really don't know how my summer is going to work. I know that I'm still a box-office flunky, at least for the time being. I don't think I'm going to be picking up any usher shifts, unless they need people and I need money. I'm working with CSC this year, since Doug had the hip replacement and Kelly is going to Europe for most of July. But that's mainly mornings, leaving my afternoons/nights/weekends free. I want to go back to DCA, but my original plan included me having a car by now. True, I could steal mom's, but I hate that fucking van. With my crackhead jobs, I don't have the money for a car or insurance, so there's that. Plus, I really don't like all the stuff I've been hearing about my area. I just don't know if I want to go back to that area. For a while, I've been kicking around transferring out, but I don't know about that. But, what I'm thinking is that I might have to give up Disney for a bit more, which sucks ass for me. If I do get into Singers, and accept, it would be damn near impossible for me to hold down a Disney job and participate in the program. This is the part where I have to really think, and decide whether or not I want to pursue performing. I love it, and if I do Singers for even just a year and then decide it's not for me, I come out with the experience, and at the very least, better performance skills. But I also love working at DLR. It's the spirit, the magic. I revel in the cheesy-goodness that is Disney. Hell, I don't think I can watch a Disney movie, visit a Disney park, or listen to a Disney soundtrack without crying like a little bitch. But, in some sick, sad way, I kind of like it. But I don't know. I don't know what I want to do. No, I know what I want to do, it just isn't looking possibile...probable. Oy. So it's looking like I'm going to be finding some random, trained monkey, slave job for the summer. Ugh. I hate that.
If you've made it this far, congrats. I owe you a cookie.
It's time to put my tired mind to bed. Sweet dreams!
At least I don't have classes tomorrow...