(no subject)
Maybe I should just become a street-walkerrrr...a common prostitute, not even an exceptional one, just a common one.
I have bruises all over my fucking legs. Normally I wouldn't care about such a thing. GOD. WHY am i such a fucking freak show?
I'm fucking painting again. something weird again. (read in sing-songy voice). this is a bad sign (ok stop singing). i need to stop being all over the fucking place, yet nowhere at the same goddamn time - HOW is it possible for one person to do both??? oh, because they're bipolar. I was beginning to think maybe i just had some sort of psychotic episode and that led to the bipolar diagnosis, but i don't think so, OH, unless i'm still psychotic. Unless I'm psychopathic, permanently.
Nothing is good enough for me. well, i'm never good enough for me (how cliché, you darling girl)..... YES, SOMEONE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE BETTER AT SOMETHING THAN I AM. This is what we have been told every time we get frustrated over not being "the best." I can't stand that. I can't stand someone being better than i am. I'm 22 years old and i take it like a 5 year old.
I have bruises all over my fucking legs. Normally I wouldn't care about such a thing. GOD. WHY am i such a fucking freak show?
I'm fucking painting again. something weird again. (read in sing-songy voice). this is a bad sign (ok stop singing). i need to stop being all over the fucking place, yet nowhere at the same goddamn time - HOW is it possible for one person to do both??? oh, because they're bipolar. I was beginning to think maybe i just had some sort of psychotic episode and that led to the bipolar diagnosis, but i don't think so, OH, unless i'm still psychotic. Unless I'm psychopathic, permanently.
Nothing is good enough for me. well, i'm never good enough for me (how cliché, you darling girl)..... YES, SOMEONE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE BETTER AT SOMETHING THAN I AM. This is what we have been told every time we get frustrated over not being "the best." I can't stand that. I can't stand someone being better than i am. I'm 22 years old and i take it like a 5 year old.