Maybe I need to put more empathis into the eye contact. I hadn't really thought of that, thank you!
I have not done true time outs, but a couple times when he has pushed me to the point of me getting mad, I put him in his room for 1-2 minutes and take a breather. Dylan tries holding him till he mellows out, but that is usually a pretty prolonged time and he is very quick to start acting out again. I think I will try the play pen method. I fear making him think of his room as a place of punishment, and I can't really hold him to do so because he starts to kick and flail whenever you try to restrain him.
I do my best to correct, and forget. It's just hard some days because I just have moments of just feeling overwhelmed. I really get upset with myself when I notice myself being snappy with him.
Haha, I do the ball thing too. I feel better now! I told my Mom about doing it and she seemed disgusted that I was playing "fetch" with my son. (On a side note, she is by no means a person I should really be concerned about disappoving my child rearing tactics. lol) Oh I wish we could swim! Pools are not so common here in Ohio. Most are all public pools, that generally speaking, are quite nasty. I've actually been on a mission of trying to find one that isn't bad. Hopefully soon!
I'm hoping it's a phase. He's always been hyper, but this aggression is just too much. I know the move had to affect him some, but he has been used to staying at 3 different houses since last October when me and Dylan had to live in seperate places for awhile. I can't imagine he would be as sensitive as some who have been used to the same house and same bed every night. If anything, I would think it would be nicer for him to have a more stable idea of "home".
Yeah, he is napping now. He naps 2 hours, but since the toddler bed it has been random. He sometimes gets out of his bed and falls asleep infront of the door on the floor. I don't let him cry it out, but I do have to ignore his whines sometimes when he is not wanting to nap in his bed. I normally go in and put him back in bed if he falls asleep playing or from whining. But this new RIGHT in front of the door thing has made that hard. He is pretty good about staying in bed at night, but naps are likely going to take awhile.
You have some good points. I think maybe I need to just take a deep breath,and try to stay consistent with something. I feel silly that I am just so easily frustrated.
I personally think that consistancy is HUGE. If they KNOW what is going to happen then they feel more secure. It is kind of like with Hunter. When I started feeding him every two hours (I would feed him sooner if he was hungry of course) he stopped totally freaking out when he was hungry like I was starving him. You will get it worked out. :)
And I see nothing wrong with playing ball with my kido, he loves it and it gives me a min to breathe for god's sake. I can't run all day long like he does. SOmething eles we do is get a blankets and play with that. I get under the blanket and ask where I am and he finds me then we both get under it and make faces as one another, then I will stand up and run it over his head and then I will wave it like a bull fighter and let him crash threw it. He loves it and I don't have to full out run all over the house or roll around on the floor. There are all kinds of silly little things you can do. Shit, I let Hunter get out the pots and pans and bang on them or stack the platic bowls while I count or tell him the colors. I also notice when I don't talk to Hunter a lot he gets real hyped up. I think talking to them my help them make their brains a little harder and helps to wear they bodies out faster. OOOOOHHHH the things I would do for a back yard!!!!! Do yo have room for a kiddy pool on your porch? Hunter loves that and will just splash around in there. I of course sit outside with him but it allows me to regroup a little instead of having to pull my hair out. I also let him "Help" with the laundry...meaning he opens and closes the dryer door for me or takes dry laundry out and plays in it. -shrugs- They are kids. Everything is so new and letting them explore that new and make it okay and make sure they are sucure in their surroundings is a big part of it all. I think from everything that I have heard from you you are a wonderful mom. It is just being a mom is a hell of a lot harder than they actually tell you. It is the little things that matter most.
Take a deep breath. Take a warm bath. Take a walk if you can with him in the stroller.
And I don't like cry it out either. Hunter will squeel and whine but if he cries I stand out side the door and if he does it longer than one min I am back in there seeing what he needs...most of the time he just wants a little more mom time...which is my favorite time because he will actually let me sit and rock him and he lays...well he is so big now he lays from my knees to my shoulders..but you get the idea :P
I feel assured, because alot of things you talk about, we do. But it is also frustrating because we DO all these things and he still has lashing out issues. Hm.. hehe
I can only imagine I am being overly reactive in every aspect in emotions and reactions. It's hard to judge ones own rationality through these hormones.
I think I need more adult interaction too. At home, I had my mom around in the mornings, and we often met up for lunch, and I usually saw her at dinner. It was nice to not be the sole focus for Layne all the time, but also to be able to talk to someone and actually get a full response.
I LOVE being with Dylan every day again. It was traumatic to be plucked away from each other after such a long time of spending so much time together. Unfortunatly his new job requires him to be gone...alot. I am so happy he is finally in a job that he likes, challenges him, and actually rewards him for his dedication. I don't like that right now, this also means that his hours vary greatly, and he often does not get to see Layne before he goes to bed, or he only has a couple hours before he goes down.
I just don't think kids are "born" bratty. I know it's something -I- need to work on to help him. In the end, I'm the deficient one in the scenario. I just feel kind of lost most of the time in what direction is right for us on how to handle things.
I have not done true time outs, but a couple times when he has pushed me to the point of me getting mad, I put him in his room for 1-2 minutes and take a breather. Dylan tries holding him till he mellows out, but that is usually a pretty prolonged time and he is very quick to start acting out again. I think I will try the play pen method. I fear making him think of his room as a place of punishment, and I can't really hold him to do so because he starts to kick and flail whenever you try to restrain him.
I do my best to correct, and forget. It's just hard some days because I just have moments of just feeling overwhelmed. I really get upset with myself when I notice myself being snappy with him.
Haha, I do the ball thing too. I feel better now! I told my Mom about doing it and she seemed disgusted that I was playing "fetch" with my son. (On a side note, she is by no means a person I should really be concerned about disappoving my child rearing tactics. lol)
Oh I wish we could swim! Pools are not so common here in Ohio. Most are all public pools, that generally speaking, are quite nasty. I've actually been on a mission of trying to find one that isn't bad. Hopefully soon!
I'm hoping it's a phase. He's always been hyper, but this aggression is just too much. I know the move had to affect him some, but he has been used to staying at 3 different houses since last October when me and Dylan had to live in seperate places for awhile. I can't imagine he would be as sensitive as some who have been used to the same house and same bed every night. If anything, I would think it would be nicer for him to have a more stable idea of "home".
Yeah, he is napping now. He naps 2 hours, but since the toddler bed it has been random. He sometimes gets out of his bed and falls asleep infront of the door on the floor. I don't let him cry it out, but I do have to ignore his whines sometimes when he is not wanting to nap in his bed. I normally go in and put him back in bed if he falls asleep playing or from whining. But this new RIGHT in front of the door thing has made that hard. He is pretty good about staying in bed at night, but naps are likely going to take awhile.
You have some good points. I think maybe I need to just take a deep breath,and try to stay consistent with something. I feel silly that I am just so easily frustrated.
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And I see nothing wrong with playing ball with my kido, he loves it and it gives me a min to breathe for god's sake. I can't run all day long like he does. SOmething eles we do is get a blankets and play with that. I get under the blanket and ask where I am and he finds me then we both get under it and make faces as one another, then I will stand up and run it over his head and then I will wave it like a bull fighter and let him crash threw it. He loves it and I don't have to full out run all over the house or roll around on the floor. There are all kinds of silly little things you can do. Shit, I let Hunter get out the pots and pans and bang on them or stack the platic bowls while I count or tell him the colors. I also notice when I don't talk to Hunter a lot he gets real hyped up. I think talking to them my help them make their brains a little harder and helps to wear they bodies out faster. OOOOOHHHH the things I would do for a back yard!!!!! Do yo have room for a kiddy pool on your porch? Hunter loves that and will just splash around in there. I of course sit outside with him but it allows me to regroup a little instead of having to pull my hair out. I also let him "Help" with the laundry...meaning he opens and closes the dryer door for me or takes dry laundry out and plays in it. -shrugs- They are kids. Everything is so new and letting them explore that new and make it okay and make sure they are sucure in their surroundings is a big part of it all. I think from everything that I have heard from you you are a wonderful mom. It is just being a mom is a hell of a lot harder than they actually tell you. It is the little things that matter most.
Take a deep breath. Take a warm bath. Take a walk if you can with him in the stroller.
And I don't like cry it out either. Hunter will squeel and whine but if he cries I stand out side the door and if he does it longer than one min I am back in there seeing what he needs...most of the time he just wants a little more mom time...which is my favorite time because he will actually let me sit and rock him and he lays...well he is so big now he lays from my knees to my shoulders..but you get the idea :P
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I can only imagine I am being overly reactive in every aspect in emotions and reactions. It's hard to judge ones own rationality through these hormones.
I think I need more adult interaction too. At home, I had my mom around in the mornings, and we often met up for lunch, and I usually saw her at dinner. It was nice to not be the sole focus for Layne all the time, but also to be able to talk to someone and actually get a full response.
I LOVE being with Dylan every day again. It was traumatic to be plucked away from each other after such a long time of spending so much time together. Unfortunatly his new job requires him to be gone...alot. I am so happy he is finally in a job that he likes, challenges him, and actually rewards him for his dedication. I don't like that right now, this also means that his hours vary greatly, and he often does not get to see Layne before he goes to bed, or he only has a couple hours before he goes down.
I just don't think kids are "born" bratty. I know it's something -I- need to work on to help him. In the end, I'm the deficient one in the scenario. I just feel kind of lost most of the time in what direction is right for us on how to handle things.
Gah! It's just frustating at times. lol
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