(no subject)
This is how it all starts. The insanity, followed by being broken down. Does it matter when I move left to right like that, do you mind if I keep on sleeping? I wonder what you wonder about, and I dream what you are dreaming about. But its sadly always in that order. Sometimes I wish there was no order, chaos becomes something beautiful after its all settled. Few things in life are beautiful that chaos doesn't hit.
Every moment in my life is a spiral. I continue to head up or down, getting dizzy along the way- and never sure which way I am headed. Up or Down, Positive or Negative. Is there even a right way, or just a way to go for the time being.
Wasting time doesn't seem as fun. Trying to get through the day to continue to make the weeks pass. How many times can I watch the same movie in a row so that I don't have to count the hours. How many times do I need to alter my life before I realize that its okay to be selfish once in a while, to stand up for beliefs, and to move with the waves of the ocean without anyone telling you to stay still.
There are so many things that I want to do and so many things that I don't want. I don't understand the pressure from others to do silly things that they do. So they don't feel they are so alone? Do I look into things to much? Because I don't feel that its possible to be able to follow the zig zag in the same direction. I might want to go back and forth while they go left and right. And then I can get mocked because I'm not doing what I'm told- but does it really matter each way? We are both going to be at the same destination, and it will more likely then not be a good one. Who cares how I get there. I can obsess, be concerned, worry, and act on instincts the same way everyone else does. And I shouldn't have to hide it. I'm not ashamed of my passion like others are. I'm not worried about being heartbroken in front of others. I just don't want an opportunity to pass me where I could have put in 200% and I only put in 100%. I need to know that I've done my all. That I've worked hard, and that I can survive. Who care how I get there?
Every moment in my life is a spiral. I continue to head up or down, getting dizzy along the way- and never sure which way I am headed. Up or Down, Positive or Negative. Is there even a right way, or just a way to go for the time being.
Wasting time doesn't seem as fun. Trying to get through the day to continue to make the weeks pass. How many times can I watch the same movie in a row so that I don't have to count the hours. How many times do I need to alter my life before I realize that its okay to be selfish once in a while, to stand up for beliefs, and to move with the waves of the ocean without anyone telling you to stay still.
There are so many things that I want to do and so many things that I don't want. I don't understand the pressure from others to do silly things that they do. So they don't feel they are so alone? Do I look into things to much? Because I don't feel that its possible to be able to follow the zig zag in the same direction. I might want to go back and forth while they go left and right. And then I can get mocked because I'm not doing what I'm told- but does it really matter each way? We are both going to be at the same destination, and it will more likely then not be a good one. Who cares how I get there. I can obsess, be concerned, worry, and act on instincts the same way everyone else does. And I shouldn't have to hide it. I'm not ashamed of my passion like others are. I'm not worried about being heartbroken in front of others. I just don't want an opportunity to pass me where I could have put in 200% and I only put in 100%. I need to know that I've done my all. That I've worked hard, and that I can survive. Who care how I get there?