i need more ericas in my life...

[febrezebeforska]

My mother doesn't love me, and I guess she never really will, i guess her mind is so fucked up from drugs that she doesn't even know what is going on anymore. Yeah I have my dad, but he is just a small piece of my heart, and my stepmom could never really fill that missing chunk of my heart for my mother. One of the only people I have to rely on for a sort of close motherly like relationship is erica, she is my best friend and i've been friends with her since 2nd grade. I know she will always be there for me, in thickest in thinest situations. I need more ericas in my life, people who will listen and love me for who i am, and boost me up when im falling down. I feel like I'm in this big hole and I can't get out, it just keeps getting deeper and deeper. And my self confidence lowers and lowers. I love you so much erica, thank you for always being there for me... i want someone to be there, to hold me when i cry, to hold me when i'm happy, to be there...
The guy that I like is way too good for me, I have no chance. I guess that is why they call them the "guy of your dreams". He's perfect, actually he is far from it, I guess that is what makes him so great, so special, and too good for me...