I Think I'll Wait Another Year [J2 Fanfic]
Title: I Think I'll Wait Another Year
Author:
miss_meimei
Pairings: J2
Rating: PG, tops.
A/N: This is my very first fanfic!! Comments are my very favorite-est in the whole wide world! [Title from Another Year, by Amanda Palmer www.whokilledamandapalmer.com/song.php thanks to fmorg for the link!]
"Hey, you awake?" Jensen quietly opened Jared's door, to find him dead to the world. A siren wouldn't wake his best friend now, much less Jensen's soft knock. He eased himself on the bed, with still no sign that Jared was alive, except for the slight rise and fall of his stomach. He looked so peaceful, so serene, it hurt. He hadn't seen his costar look that calm in days, not since...
Jensen ran a hand over his face, knowing that he wouldn't be at peace with himself until he got this off his chest.
"Jay, I'm so sorry. I should've talked to you first, before telling all those fans that I was planning on moving out. You think I didn't think about you first, but I promise... You were the biggest thing on my mind, and not just because you're a freakin giant." Jensen chuckled at his own joke, trying to dispell the knots that were in his gut. "C'mon, Jay... How could I not want to live with you? How could anyone not want to be around you all the time? I mean, yeah, your dogs eat my socks and you never remember to take the trash out, not to mention that you never buy the good brand of milk, but your smile..." The words got stuck in his throat, the words that he had been holding back for nearly four years now, the ones that he promised himself he wouldn't say out loud. "Your smile. It lights up my life, Jay. It lights me up. When you smile, or laugh, or even just look at me, I feel like there's nothing bad in the world. Like all the hurt, and the suffering, and all the demons in the world, well of course they don't exist. How could anything less than perfection stay in a world with a smile like yours? And who wouldn't want that in their life?" Jared suddenly rolled, and Jensen froze. It was one thing to talk like this to an inanamate object that resembled Jared, but if the guy actually woke up... Well, things wouldn't go so well.
Luckily for Jen, Jared was just readjusting himself. The log stayed asleep. After a few deep breaths to restart his heart, Jensen went on.
"From the moment I first met you, I knew. I knew I wanted to be in your life as long there was a life to be a part of. I don't know when it turned into something more, maybe when I moved in. When I realized that you were just as beautiful first thing in the morning, with those ratty pajamas and smelling like dog as you were when you walked down the red carpet. Somewhere along the way, Jay, you stopped being my brother. Somewhere along the way I..." Jensen swallowed hard. He wasn't sure he was ready to say this yet, not even to a completely non-lucid Jared. "I thought I could get along like this, living with you, working with you, being with you as much as I possibly could. I thought I could get away with feeling like this and not having you know, but now, with the show maybe ending, and, the thought that you might not be there, I can't bear it, Jay. I have to get away. Maybe if I can distance myself now, it'll be easier, not having you around to... I'm no good with words, man. You know that better than anyone. You know everything about me, just like I know everything about you. You are my very best friend, and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I mean, you're Jared. What more even is there to say? Jared, man, I--" Jared let out a long snore, and the spell was broken. Jensen couldn't get the words out now, not anymore. "Well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'll see you in the morning, kay? " Jensen was about to walk out, but before he opened the door, he knelt back down by Jared's bed, and placed the softest of kisses on his forehead, and allowed himself to stroke his best friend's hair. After a long, last look at Jared's sleeping form, Jensen straightened and walked out of the room without looking back. The sun was nearly up now; Just as well. There would be no sleep for him tonight.
***
Jared awoke the next morning to the smell of- Was that bacon? He threw on an old t-shirt and skidded into the kitchen, to see Jensen frying up bacon. This was strange for a few reasons, least of which was that the bacon smelled perfect.
"Is it my birthday?" Jared asked. The last time Jensen was up before him, especially making breakfast was... Oh yeah. NEVER.
"Mornin', sushine!" Jensen said over his shoulder. "No one's birthday, except for maybe that Brad guy, from costuming. Just was up early, thought I'd surprise you." Jensen turned around, and for a second Jared thought he saw something on the other man's face. Was it... Fear? Expectancy? Whatever it was, it was gone in a flash, and he half wondered if he had imagined it.
"Sleep well?" Jensen asked as Jared proceeded to swallow a strip of meat whole.
"Like the dead. You?"
Jensen took a long sip of coffee, and stared out the window.
Edit: And now, the sequel! miss-meimei.livejournal.com/4857.html
Author:
miss_meimei
Pairings: J2
Rating: PG, tops.
A/N: This is my very first fanfic!! Comments are my very favorite-est in the whole wide world! [Title from Another Year, by Amanda Palmer www.whokilledamandapalmer.com/song.php thanks to fmorg for the link!]
"Hey, you awake?" Jensen quietly opened Jared's door, to find him dead to the world. A siren wouldn't wake his best friend now, much less Jensen's soft knock. He eased himself on the bed, with still no sign that Jared was alive, except for the slight rise and fall of his stomach. He looked so peaceful, so serene, it hurt. He hadn't seen his costar look that calm in days, not since...
Jensen ran a hand over his face, knowing that he wouldn't be at peace with himself until he got this off his chest.
"Jay, I'm so sorry. I should've talked to you first, before telling all those fans that I was planning on moving out. You think I didn't think about you first, but I promise... You were the biggest thing on my mind, and not just because you're a freakin giant." Jensen chuckled at his own joke, trying to dispell the knots that were in his gut. "C'mon, Jay... How could I not want to live with you? How could anyone not want to be around you all the time? I mean, yeah, your dogs eat my socks and you never remember to take the trash out, not to mention that you never buy the good brand of milk, but your smile..." The words got stuck in his throat, the words that he had been holding back for nearly four years now, the ones that he promised himself he wouldn't say out loud. "Your smile. It lights up my life, Jay. It lights me up. When you smile, or laugh, or even just look at me, I feel like there's nothing bad in the world. Like all the hurt, and the suffering, and all the demons in the world, well of course they don't exist. How could anything less than perfection stay in a world with a smile like yours? And who wouldn't want that in their life?" Jared suddenly rolled, and Jensen froze. It was one thing to talk like this to an inanamate object that resembled Jared, but if the guy actually woke up... Well, things wouldn't go so well.
Luckily for Jen, Jared was just readjusting himself. The log stayed asleep. After a few deep breaths to restart his heart, Jensen went on.
"From the moment I first met you, I knew. I knew I wanted to be in your life as long there was a life to be a part of. I don't know when it turned into something more, maybe when I moved in. When I realized that you were just as beautiful first thing in the morning, with those ratty pajamas and smelling like dog as you were when you walked down the red carpet. Somewhere along the way, Jay, you stopped being my brother. Somewhere along the way I..." Jensen swallowed hard. He wasn't sure he was ready to say this yet, not even to a completely non-lucid Jared. "I thought I could get along like this, living with you, working with you, being with you as much as I possibly could. I thought I could get away with feeling like this and not having you know, but now, with the show maybe ending, and, the thought that you might not be there, I can't bear it, Jay. I have to get away. Maybe if I can distance myself now, it'll be easier, not having you around to... I'm no good with words, man. You know that better than anyone. You know everything about me, just like I know everything about you. You are my very best friend, and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I mean, you're Jared. What more even is there to say? Jared, man, I--" Jared let out a long snore, and the spell was broken. Jensen couldn't get the words out now, not anymore. "Well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'll see you in the morning, kay? " Jensen was about to walk out, but before he opened the door, he knelt back down by Jared's bed, and placed the softest of kisses on his forehead, and allowed himself to stroke his best friend's hair. After a long, last look at Jared's sleeping form, Jensen straightened and walked out of the room without looking back. The sun was nearly up now; Just as well. There would be no sleep for him tonight.
***
Jared awoke the next morning to the smell of- Was that bacon? He threw on an old t-shirt and skidded into the kitchen, to see Jensen frying up bacon. This was strange for a few reasons, least of which was that the bacon smelled perfect.
"Is it my birthday?" Jared asked. The last time Jensen was up before him, especially making breakfast was... Oh yeah. NEVER.
"Mornin', sushine!" Jensen said over his shoulder. "No one's birthday, except for maybe that Brad guy, from costuming. Just was up early, thought I'd surprise you." Jensen turned around, and for a second Jared thought he saw something on the other man's face. Was it... Fear? Expectancy? Whatever it was, it was gone in a flash, and he half wondered if he had imagined it.
"Sleep well?" Jensen asked as Jared proceeded to swallow a strip of meat whole.
"Like the dead. You?"
Jensen took a long sip of coffee, and stared out the window.
Edit: And now, the sequel! miss-meimei.livejournal.com/4857.html