A Sound Reverberated
Title: A Sound Reverberated
Author: miss_meimei
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Boy!kissing
Summary: Takes place during and after 'What Is And What Never Should Be", in season two. They boys have to deal with Dean's near death experience.
A/N: Written for my beffie, kathickers whom I love more than life it's self. This is my first non RPF, and comments are appreciated and gushed over. :D
Dean looked at the circle of people around him. Carmen. This beautiful girl who wanted to start a family with him. Jess. The love of his Sam's life, alive, and wanting to make all his dreams come true. His mother. Dean felt a lump in his throat. His mother, who had been cheated out of the chance to see her boys grow. His eyes finally rested on Sam. Was it so bad to want to stay here? Why couldn't he see Sam live the life he was supposed to, happy and successful, with a family? Why couldn't everyone get what they wanted, what they deserved? Then he thought of dinner that night. Sam hated him, didn't want him to be a part of his life. A world where Sam didn't belong to hi, didn't care, wasn't a world Dean could bear to be a part of. With one last look at his mother- he would miss her most of all. Dean plunged the silver knife deep into his own stomach.
***
It was natural for Sam to be worried. His brother had nearly died, had almost had the life blood sucked out of him. He still cringed when he thought of Dean tied up, unconscious, with those awful needles at all his major arteries. He was his brother. There was no one else he cared about more. Yeah, let's go with that. And the clenching in h is stomach when Dean talked about that girl, Carmen. What did he have to be jealous about? Hadn't Jess been alive in the dream? He would've been happy there. Still, staying at Stanford? A world without Dean?
"I don't understand. I thought it was supposed to be this perfect dream world."
"It wasn't," Dean snapped. "Just a wish."
***
Sam knew better than to expect Dean to sleep well that night. His brother was curled up in the fetal position, making tiny noises whenever he touched somewhere the needles had been. Finally Sam stood up out of bed and walked over and sat down by Dean's side.
"Hey," he whispered. "You okay?" When Dean didn't respond, Sam tentatively put a hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean's own hand reached up to lace his fingers between Sam's. His breath caught. The invitation was clear. He laid down next to Dean, curling around him. Protecting him, just like his brother had done for him so many times.
"You hated me," Dean whispered. "You didn't even want to be around me. You had Jess, and I had a girl, and everything should've been perfect, but... I couldn't stay in a place where you just didn't even care." It broke Sam's heart to hear that. He rolled Dean over on his side so they were facing. He was surprised to see tears running down his strong big brother's face, but he didn't show it.
"Dean. You know that's just silly. You're my brother, I could never hate-"
"Oh really, Sam? Then why did you leave? When you left for college, you never even thought- I mean, what was I supposed to think?" The tears were streaming freely now. Every single one stabbed Sam's heart. Dean was right. He had left him.
"It's not what you think, Dean. I couldn't stay. And dad was only part of the problem. Dean, I... I had to get away from you." His brother flinched and turned away, as if this hurt him more than anything Sam could've said. No going back now, he thought.
" I kept feeling these things, things I thought i shouldn't. Things I thought I could never tell you about. I thought if I did, that you'd hate me. I hoped if I got away from you that the feelings would go away, but... Anyway. It doesn't matter." Not exactly the way I had planned on telling my brother that I'm in love with him. Actually, I wasn't planning on telling him at all. Dean had stayed very still through Sam's confession. His back was turned so Sam had no idea how he was processing it... Rejection from Dean was something Sam didn't think he could handle. And to throw this at Dean when he was already hurting...
"But it's no big deal, Dean. I mean, things aren't going to change now. Nothing's going to change. Just because you're the most important thing in my life, because I love you-" Great. There it goes, tumbling out for the world to hear. Sam somehow, through the panic of his thoughts, remembered that any noise you made was a sound wave that reverberated through space forever. Well, it definitely was taking up all the space around the brothers. The words hung thickly in the room all around them. Then, the incredible happened. Instead of recoiling, Dean rolled over and carefully placed a hand on Sam's face, as if afraid moving too fast would spook him and everything would be lost. Just as carefully, he gently pulled Sam's face toward his own, and their lips met in a kiss.
The world didn't shatter. Stars didn't move. There wasn't even an earthquake. For Dean, he had never kissed someone like that before, like they were pouring their souls into each other through their lips. For Sam, it was coming home. It felt right, like there wasn't any part of him that belonged anywhere else. For both boys, it was a telling of a secret so deeply buried inside them, they thought it would never see the light of day.
***
There was no sex. There would be plenty of time for that later. Dean was still weak from blood loss. They just fell asleep like that, Sam curled around Dean, protecting him from the demons around him and inside his head.
***
Dean woke up without opening his eyes. His mind reeled as he remembered what had happened the night before. Could it possibly have been real? Then he felt Sammy move beside him. A grin spread across his face. It was true, the words, the touches, the kisses. He could still feel Sam on his skin. And with the djinn gone, they could put this town behind them and hit the road again. Something big was coming, he could feel it. He was ready to greet whatever hell threw his way; His brother was by his side. With that thought lingering in his mind, he pushed Sam out of the bed and onto the floor.
"Time to go, Sammy. Let's get." Sam tumbled out of bed with the sheets tangled around his legs and a pillow instinctively grabbed to cover his head.
"Jerk," he mumbled into the pillow. Dean leaned down and pressed his lips to Sam's exposed neck.
"Bitch."