My Dinner With Addison (Without The Dinner Part)
Addison pays a visit to the Begman Embassy (King St. and Embassy Way) to pick up a PACKAGE which has been waiting for him. Brief mention of Pens.
Addison is not shown into the Ambassador's Office, because that is not the way things are done. This is Begma territory from the start of the front door of the lobby. No, Addison boldly walks up to the door of the Ambassador's office and... hesitates, then knocks, then pushes the door open a bit, then says, "Er, excuse me? Hullo?"
Featherstone looks up from a stack of paperwork. He registers the arrival of the newcomer and then he looks from side to side around his office as if searching for something or someone. He looks irritated when he doesn't find whatever it is and he regards Addison once more. After several seconds, Featherstone says, "Dare!" Followed by, "Come in!":
Addison slips in through the door and closes it behind him. "Er yes. Dare. Addison Dare. Hullo. Er..." He looks around. Begman offices -- very dangerous.
Featherstone watches Addison's progress through the room as if some sort of test or trial is underway. Eventually he nods once and points toward a chair. "What can the Great Republic of Begma do for one of her most loyal and wealthy citizens? Hm?"
Addison picks up on the word wealthy immediately. He looks at the chair like it is some contraption that might eat him. "Actually, I am simply here to pick up a package. It's a difference engine, you see. Well, a kit. A kit you have to assemble yourself."
Featherstone nods again. Once. He then turns and opens a drawer. From this drawer he produces a stack of papers. He aligns the edges of the papers for several seconds. Once they are aligned, he puts the stack on his desk and shouts, "CARRUTHERS!!".
Addison flinches when the name is shouted and looks around for a Carruthers to jump out and stab him for his big kid's toy.
A harried-looking young man in a brown suit enters through a side door. He clutches his own stack of papers to his breast as if it were a life-preserver. He also carries a clipboard and, in the upper pocket of his coat, several pens. He stammers, "Yes, sir."
Featherstone glowers at Carruthers. He clears his throat and says, "This is Lord /Dare/, Carruthers. He is here to retrieve his difference engine." He then adds, "Kit." He points to the stack of papers on his desk and says, "The proper papers must be filed, must'nt they?"
Carruthers nods quickly several times and begins rummaging through the stack in his arms. He says to Addison, "You'll need to fill out these four preliminary forms. Then we can release it to you. The follow-up forms can be sent along with the package, if you wish. Er, milord." He looks puzzled.
Addison eyes the big pile of papers with something nearing Fear and Loathing, "To put a fine spin on it, sir," Addison says, "my father is Lord Dare. D'you have the appropriate Form Signing Outing Pen? One must have a proper pen."
Featherstone gestures vaguely at Carruthers who produces a Pen from his coat pocket. This is a pen that other pens want to be when they grow up. He presents it reverently to Addison.
Addison stares at this pen for a really really long time. It may look like he is schemeing how he is going to walk out of the office with this pen.
Silence.
More silence.
Then, "Where do I sign again?"
Carruthers arranges the papers in a somewhat user-friendly manner on Featherstone's desk and says. "Here...there...twice on that line, initial just under the--yes that's it. Sign and date here, here, and...no, wait. Here. And, finally but by no means trivially, Here."
Addison sits in the chair and signs, and then signs, and then signs more, and then signs even more, and by no means trivially signs there, too.
Featherstone nods once. Again. Carruthers gathers the papers and leaves the room very quickly. Featherstone says, "See the cashier just beneath the model of the Great Chronometer to retrieve your kit. Before you go, however, I have a question for you."
"Yes, sir?" Addison asks, wondering how much money he will have to pay to get his difference engine kit out of hock.
Featherstone leans forward, towards Addison. The desk between them takes up so much real estate, however, that this leaning does little to further invade Addison's personal space. The Ambassador says, "What do you know of flame-throwers?"
Addison sits stock still for a moment like he has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Er.... well.... I have this cousin here in town.... who is working on perfecting one, actually."
Featherstone's eyes narrow, "What progress has this...cousin of yours made?"
"It, er, fires," Addison says carefully. This is a member of one of the Ministries, after all, and while he often desires to go back home, there are ways he wants to go back home and ways he does not. "You prime it a bit and you fire. It does fire once, then it backfires and melts down all the hosing in the gas chamber."
Featherstone nods slowly as Addison speaks. He appears to be making mental notes. Then he switches to taking actual notes. He writes for a few moments after Addison has stopped talking. Then he looks up and says, "Good!" Then, "Don't anger the locals. We don't need Tourism or Safety showing up do we?"
"Er," Addison says, "I do serve in an official capacity for the Crown, sir. There would be Words if Tourism or Safety showed up here tearing about and taking people off the streets. But I do not believe anyone is breaking any of the Unbreakable Laws."
Featherstone shakes his head and says, "No. No, no. Not at all. It's just that..." And here he pauses, stands, and walks around the expanse of desk to stand, loom even, over Addison. "The last Ambassador made rather a hash of things and we don't need a repeat of that." He then pauses again and his eyes re-narrow, "Crown, you say. So, the Powers-That-Be around here understand the value of a Salisbury education. That's good. Have the Regent's ear do you?"
Addison is not good at being loomed over by an Ambassador and he shrinks a little bit in the chair. He could get up and be shouty but he is not in a shouty mood and this Ambassador is ALL AMBASSADOR. Besides, there are Ministries to fret about. "Yes, sir. I am the Royal Counsel to the Crown. I do, occasionally, get in to see the Prince Regent."
Featherstone shouts, "CARRUTHERS!" He is still quite close to Addison.
Addison nearly jumps out of his skin. FLINCH!
Carruthers enters through the side door again. He is out of breath.
Featherstone says, "Waive the storage fee for Mr. Dare. Expedite the Process. Go!"
Carruthers goes, as requested.
Addison goes errrr again because this is sounding like a Favor. "Look, I can pay, it is no issue, really!"
Featherstone shakes his head and says, "The Great Republic of Begma is at the service of her loyal citizens. Besides, Carruthers has already begun filing the waiver forms."
Addison yells out over his shoulder, "Carruthers! Do not fill out the waiver forms! Look, see here, I can pay to get it out of hock! Really!"
Featherstone places a hand on Addison's shoulder. A very heavy hand. "Nonsense," he says. The grip tightens ever so slightly. "We wouldn't want to Inconvenince Carruthers. Would. We?"
Addison shrinks in the grip. He is beginning to believe that perhaps picking up his toy today was a bad idea. "Er. No. Sir."
Featherstone nods and smiles. At least, it could be called a smile if one's definition of that expression happened to be sufficiently broad. He removes his hand and says, "Thank you for stopping by, Dare. I look forward to future discussions." Next he either chuckles in a friendly manner or clears his throat and says, "I understand St. Thymes has a crackerjack crew this year. We'll give you fellows a run for your money, I wager."
"Oh no way!" Addison blurts out as Featherstone lets him at least sit up. He pulls on his jacket to straighten it and says, "No bloody engineers are going to beat the Salisbury Crew Team. At least we get out in the sunshine and walk about once in a while!"
Featherstone says, "Care to put a bit of coin on that opinion?"
Addison reaches in to his pocket and pulls out a black leather billfold. He opens it, and says, "I have a tenner."
Featherstone extends a hand which now has a ten-spot in it, too. "Done!" he says. "He presses the money into Addison's hands by way of shaking on it. He says, "You hang onto it. I know where to find you when we win."
"Yes, I suppose you do," Addison says. The billfold disappears with both ten spots and he stands. "I am going to go collect my difference engine. Thank you for your time, sir."
Featherstone says, "Fare well. Have a care near the anthropological displays on your way out."
Addison looks dubious. He says, "Good afternoon, sir." And then he heads out to reclaim his difference engine from Carruthers.
Addison is not shown into the Ambassador's Office, because that is not the way things are done. This is Begma territory from the start of the front door of the lobby. No, Addison boldly walks up to the door of the Ambassador's office and... hesitates, then knocks, then pushes the door open a bit, then says, "Er, excuse me? Hullo?"
Featherstone looks up from a stack of paperwork. He registers the arrival of the newcomer and then he looks from side to side around his office as if searching for something or someone. He looks irritated when he doesn't find whatever it is and he regards Addison once more. After several seconds, Featherstone says, "Dare!" Followed by, "Come in!":
Addison slips in through the door and closes it behind him. "Er yes. Dare. Addison Dare. Hullo. Er..." He looks around. Begman offices -- very dangerous.
Featherstone watches Addison's progress through the room as if some sort of test or trial is underway. Eventually he nods once and points toward a chair. "What can the Great Republic of Begma do for one of her most loyal and wealthy citizens? Hm?"
Addison picks up on the word wealthy immediately. He looks at the chair like it is some contraption that might eat him. "Actually, I am simply here to pick up a package. It's a difference engine, you see. Well, a kit. A kit you have to assemble yourself."
Featherstone nods again. Once. He then turns and opens a drawer. From this drawer he produces a stack of papers. He aligns the edges of the papers for several seconds. Once they are aligned, he puts the stack on his desk and shouts, "CARRUTHERS!!".
Addison flinches when the name is shouted and looks around for a Carruthers to jump out and stab him for his big kid's toy.
A harried-looking young man in a brown suit enters through a side door. He clutches his own stack of papers to his breast as if it were a life-preserver. He also carries a clipboard and, in the upper pocket of his coat, several pens. He stammers, "Yes, sir."
Featherstone glowers at Carruthers. He clears his throat and says, "This is Lord /Dare/, Carruthers. He is here to retrieve his difference engine." He then adds, "Kit." He points to the stack of papers on his desk and says, "The proper papers must be filed, must'nt they?"
Carruthers nods quickly several times and begins rummaging through the stack in his arms. He says to Addison, "You'll need to fill out these four preliminary forms. Then we can release it to you. The follow-up forms can be sent along with the package, if you wish. Er, milord." He looks puzzled.
Addison eyes the big pile of papers with something nearing Fear and Loathing, "To put a fine spin on it, sir," Addison says, "my father is Lord Dare. D'you have the appropriate Form Signing Outing Pen? One must have a proper pen."
Featherstone gestures vaguely at Carruthers who produces a Pen from his coat pocket. This is a pen that other pens want to be when they grow up. He presents it reverently to Addison.
Addison stares at this pen for a really really long time. It may look like he is schemeing how he is going to walk out of the office with this pen.
Silence.
More silence.
Then, "Where do I sign again?"
Carruthers arranges the papers in a somewhat user-friendly manner on Featherstone's desk and says. "Here...there...twice on that line, initial just under the--yes that's it. Sign and date here, here, and...no, wait. Here. And, finally but by no means trivially, Here."
Addison sits in the chair and signs, and then signs, and then signs more, and then signs even more, and by no means trivially signs there, too.
Featherstone nods once. Again. Carruthers gathers the papers and leaves the room very quickly. Featherstone says, "See the cashier just beneath the model of the Great Chronometer to retrieve your kit. Before you go, however, I have a question for you."
"Yes, sir?" Addison asks, wondering how much money he will have to pay to get his difference engine kit out of hock.
Featherstone leans forward, towards Addison. The desk between them takes up so much real estate, however, that this leaning does little to further invade Addison's personal space. The Ambassador says, "What do you know of flame-throwers?"
Addison sits stock still for a moment like he has been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Er.... well.... I have this cousin here in town.... who is working on perfecting one, actually."
Featherstone's eyes narrow, "What progress has this...cousin of yours made?"
"It, er, fires," Addison says carefully. This is a member of one of the Ministries, after all, and while he often desires to go back home, there are ways he wants to go back home and ways he does not. "You prime it a bit and you fire. It does fire once, then it backfires and melts down all the hosing in the gas chamber."
Featherstone nods slowly as Addison speaks. He appears to be making mental notes. Then he switches to taking actual notes. He writes for a few moments after Addison has stopped talking. Then he looks up and says, "Good!" Then, "Don't anger the locals. We don't need Tourism or Safety showing up do we?"
"Er," Addison says, "I do serve in an official capacity for the Crown, sir. There would be Words if Tourism or Safety showed up here tearing about and taking people off the streets. But I do not believe anyone is breaking any of the Unbreakable Laws."
Featherstone shakes his head and says, "No. No, no. Not at all. It's just that..." And here he pauses, stands, and walks around the expanse of desk to stand, loom even, over Addison. "The last Ambassador made rather a hash of things and we don't need a repeat of that." He then pauses again and his eyes re-narrow, "Crown, you say. So, the Powers-That-Be around here understand the value of a Salisbury education. That's good. Have the Regent's ear do you?"
Addison is not good at being loomed over by an Ambassador and he shrinks a little bit in the chair. He could get up and be shouty but he is not in a shouty mood and this Ambassador is ALL AMBASSADOR. Besides, there are Ministries to fret about. "Yes, sir. I am the Royal Counsel to the Crown. I do, occasionally, get in to see the Prince Regent."
Featherstone shouts, "CARRUTHERS!" He is still quite close to Addison.
Addison nearly jumps out of his skin. FLINCH!
Carruthers enters through the side door again. He is out of breath.
Featherstone says, "Waive the storage fee for Mr. Dare. Expedite the Process. Go!"
Carruthers goes, as requested.
Addison goes errrr again because this is sounding like a Favor. "Look, I can pay, it is no issue, really!"
Featherstone shakes his head and says, "The Great Republic of Begma is at the service of her loyal citizens. Besides, Carruthers has already begun filing the waiver forms."
Addison yells out over his shoulder, "Carruthers! Do not fill out the waiver forms! Look, see here, I can pay to get it out of hock! Really!"
Featherstone places a hand on Addison's shoulder. A very heavy hand. "Nonsense," he says. The grip tightens ever so slightly. "We wouldn't want to Inconvenince Carruthers. Would. We?"
Addison shrinks in the grip. He is beginning to believe that perhaps picking up his toy today was a bad idea. "Er. No. Sir."
Featherstone nods and smiles. At least, it could be called a smile if one's definition of that expression happened to be sufficiently broad. He removes his hand and says, "Thank you for stopping by, Dare. I look forward to future discussions." Next he either chuckles in a friendly manner or clears his throat and says, "I understand St. Thymes has a crackerjack crew this year. We'll give you fellows a run for your money, I wager."
"Oh no way!" Addison blurts out as Featherstone lets him at least sit up. He pulls on his jacket to straighten it and says, "No bloody engineers are going to beat the Salisbury Crew Team. At least we get out in the sunshine and walk about once in a while!"
Featherstone says, "Care to put a bit of coin on that opinion?"
Addison reaches in to his pocket and pulls out a black leather billfold. He opens it, and says, "I have a tenner."
Featherstone extends a hand which now has a ten-spot in it, too. "Done!" he says. "He presses the money into Addison's hands by way of shaking on it. He says, "You hang onto it. I know where to find you when we win."
"Yes, I suppose you do," Addison says. The billfold disappears with both ten spots and he stands. "I am going to go collect my difference engine. Thank you for your time, sir."
Featherstone says, "Fare well. Have a care near the anthropological displays on your way out."
Addison looks dubious. He says, "Good afternoon, sir." And then he heads out to reclaim his difference engine from Carruthers.