Black-and-White Conflict [provisional title]
Pairing: Renji and Byakuya (surprise....)
Rating: M (sex happening, ren/bya for now but as a passionate supporter of "The Switch" there will be both ways)
Spoilers: for end of Soul Society arc
Discl.: Bleach and all its characters are (c) to kubotite. I do not make money with this.
Content: sequel to Black-and-Red Conflict (not much of a summary? remind me to make a better one, as soon as i actually know what i'm doing...)
Word Count: about 4800
Notes: So yes, i obviously AM definitely crazy. I really don't know what's wrong with me.. but... well... it just came out, somehow. also this is a stupid working title that should change, because NO WAY am i going to write about the Soul Society/Hueco Mundo conflict (get the HELL out of my head, damn you)
oh man... shit. this is all angsty, dramatic and violent (no surprise there) and i wish i could write something happy, people, really, i do, but it seems it just doesn't work with me... and i wanted a break from byakuya and renji and then this comes out... *puts head under pillow to scream*
yeah... well, i think i did manage to have a slightly faster pace of story telling...
some more explaining in the coming chapter (haha....)
songtext snippets at the start of the chapter are: the first from aqualung - "pressure suit" and the second from travis - "re-offender"
thanks for reading, comments will be greatly appreciated
One
~ Somewhere underneath your pointed tongue and teeth is where you really are...
...drag you down from where you are ~
~ Coz you say you love me, but then you do it again, you do it again ~
The 6th division of the Gotai 13 in Seireitei, Soul Society, was alive with its usual early afternoon activity. Shinigami were going back and forth, preparing to leave on missions or coming back from them, writing reports and discussing gathered information, training. The hallways resounded with the murmur of voices and it was only in the office of Taichou and Fukutaichou of this squad that there was silence. But it was brittle, tense, on the verge of breaking. And then it did.
„This's it. I don't give a damn 'nymore. Ya've been sendin' me back and forth non-stop for the last weeks. It doesn't make sense.“
Abarai Renji had been holding the form concerning the information for his next mission before him, his hands first tightening on it and then shaking with retained anger. Now he crumbled the sheet and sent it flying through the room. It bounced off the opposite wall and rolled a little way until it came to rest almost in the exact middle of the floor.
The steel gray eyes of Kuchiki-Taichou regarded it for a few seconds before they were fixed back onto the obstinate lieutenant to his right. The redhead's table was a mess of half-written reports, unfilled forms, random scraps of paper and the occasional empty - at least Byakuya hoped so - tea cup. But for once it wasn't the messiness of his subordinate that bothered him. Or then it did, but not nearly as much as the stubbornness of that man, his inability to accept his tasks.
„Renji,“ Kuchiki-Taichou said and this time had no amusement left for the way Renji crossed his arms before his chest like a young, impertinent boy.
„You do realize that the decision is not for you to make? These are orders. They do not need to make sense to you. You just have to follow them.“
There was the hint of exasperation in that cool voice one might use when trying to explain something obvious to a particularly dumb child. It drove Renji's generally short patience to the very edge.
„No shit! Orders, just orders. Ya've ordered me over half the Real world already. I must'a killed a freakin' army of hollows out there on my own. And ya never give me a reason!“
„Defeating a dangerous creature and thus ensuring the safety of human souls doesn't hold enough reason for you? In addition it is stated clearly on this document,“ he made the tiniest motion toward the crumbled sheet of paper on the floor, „that as much time as you spend on vanquishing Hollows you should also spend on the reconnaissance of a particular area, as well as its tactical...“
„Fuck that! Tactical crap, renaissance, my ass...“
„Reconnaissance...“
„...I don't give a SHIT.“
Renji had risen from his chair, pushing it back with so much force that it almost toppled, balancing for a second precariously on two of its legs until it settled back to the floor with a thud. Byakuya's eyes narrowed.
„'s me all the damn time. I shouldn't always need ta be me. There's other people'n this squad. Ya've never send me off this much before.“
„Because now you need to prove yourself.“
There was a moment of hesitation, then, „What?“
„There is much that comes with leading a squad. You need to be familiar with all of it to become captain.“
For the moment there was no further noise from Renji, because right now his mouth was way too occupied with simply standing open. He stared at his captain in disbelief and Byakuya returned the look with a cool so-what expression that he usually reserved for stating pretty obvious and not overly interesting facts concerning the squad's everyday events. He definitely didn't look at Renji with the solemness that should have been required for a revelation like that.
„But I...,“ the redhead finally brought out, „...I don't... captain? I never said I wanted to be captain!“
Kuchiki-Taichou's brows rose the fraction of a centimeter as if in surprise. Not? they implied while Byakuya said, „You have improved considerably over the last months,“ since we have resolved our problems and started to be together, he carefully omitted, „You have become more responsible and reliable. Also, with Aizen's treason, the Gotei 13 have been weakened. To help Soul Society's situation as much as possible, everybody who is able to should take on the highest position they are qualified for. I believe you have almost reached the level of a captain.“
Renji's mouth finally closed and he looked to the floor, frowning heavily.
„But... it's... I don't understand...“
And he didn't. Over the last weeks he had been on missions almost constantly. Whenever he had actually been able to come back to Soul Society, he'd had a few days at most to take care of reports and other paper work - which by the way seemed to have increased considerably in quantity and difficulty as well. The precious little time that had still been left after the official matters had been taken care of, was used up by getting some rest and then preparing for the next departure.
Which left not time at all to spend with Byakuya. Not that the fact seemed to disturb the noble very much, and that thought alone sent another wave of anger through the redhead. His eyes focused back onto his captain and he snarled.
„I've done what ya wanted. Bin' keepin' my distance 's long as we're at work. An' this is how ya reward me?“
Byakuya's eyes narrowed dangerously as he realized in which direction Renji was heading. They had agreed they would keep their personal relationship out of their duties as captain and lieutenant. The noble had been very specific about that and would stick to it. There would be no discussion about it, especially not here in their office where at any moment some member of the squad could come blundering in to accidentally hear things that weren't meant for their ears.
„Why're ya keepin' me away...“
„Renji.“
Byakuya's voice was cold, but the hurt he saw in Renji's eyes in the next moment sent a stab of guilt through the captain and his voice became softer with his next words.
„I have my reasons for what I am doing. Can you not believe me as much?“
Renji just huffed and looked away, not in the least appeased.
„Renji,“ a little stricter again, „your gate will be opened in less than an hour. You should get yourself ready.“
The redhead could hardly believe it. His hands tightened into fists and there weren't any words left in him that could have justly expressed his anger and frustration at being disposed of just like that. He whipped around, stalked to the door of their office and ripped it open. But he turned to Byakuya once more before he left, giving his captain a look so filled with utter disappointment and accusation, that it made the noble freeze in his chair with a harsh breath caught dead in his throat.
Byakuya was not yet quite sure what exactly had went wrong this time, but he realized it must have been something grave, considering Renji's reaction. It was frustrating sometimes, how different they were, how easily they understood each other wrong. Keeping Renji away? No, that hadn't been his intention. To eventually be able to be closer to the redhead, that was the goal he was working toward. If they were both captains, instead of superior and subordinate, they would be able to be together more freely, they wouldn't have to hide. How could Renji not understand this? Why could the redhead not endure a little time apart for the sake of having it easier later on?
Byakuya, having been quite voluntarily solitary for the most part of his life only just began to grasp how much more it seemed to hurt someone like his lieutenant to be apart from the person he loved. Renji sometimes seemed to live solely for the sake of being around people. He knew the squad so well because he was involved with its members all the time. He went out with friends and moved in a crowd like a fish in water. And when he loved, then he did it with a level of devotion that might, for someone else not quite as outgoing as himself, be slightly stifling. For someone like Byakuya - more something like a metaphorical insecticide in comparison to a social butterfly - it might turn out to be truly suffocating.
But Byakuya did not actually consciously think that far. At no point had he willingly put distance between the two of them. But then some things Kuchiki Byakuya did really weren't entirely conscious, especially when it came to that strange defense mechanism that had made it almost impossible for them to come together in the first place. In the barely five months they were a couple now, he had learned to fight it successfully, but on some rare occasions it still sneaked in without Byakuya realizing it.
What he did realize was that it was time for another Talk. He knew he had hurt Renji without meaning to and he was sorry for it. But there had been no time to discuss the matter right there in the office with a mission at hand. He just hoped they would be able to resolve the problem together when Renji came back in three days.
But then Renji was back already two and a half days later, entering Seireitei in the middle of the night with a temper that could have set a forest ablaze. Or the garden of a certain Kuchiki, if it was up to the redhead. And that was exactly where he directed his steps, never minding dust, dirt and sweat that covered him.
As usual, the longer the time he had spent on thinking about what had happened, the worse it had all started to look. Byakuya was deliberately keeping them apart, that was what Renji was thinking by now. For him the fact that Byakuya wanted him to become captain just played right into that. Why not just leave their situation as it was? He found it pretty nice to at least be near Byakuya on the days, be in the same office as his captain. As for keeping their relationship a secret: until Byakuya had started that whole “let's turn Renji into Abarai-Taichou” mission, Renji had at least been able to be together with Byakuya in the nights and whenever possible on free days. So far, that had been alright with the redhead. Sure, they were fighting once in a while, since they were pretty different after all, but then it wasn't so bad. Kept things interesting, in a way.
And now, just as they were becoming used to being with each other, the noble suddenly had to change that? Renji didn't get it. What had he done wrong this time? Why did Byakuya want to get rid of him now, of all times? If Renji became captain too, they wouldn't even be in the same office anymore! The noble probably had just changed his mind about their relationship and wanted to withdraw from it. If they did not share the same office anymore, that would of course be much easier for him.
Those thoughts were what ran through Renji's head as he was moving toward the Kuchiki mansion. Caught up in his anger he was unable to see the problem from any other point of view than the one that had grown in his mind like a tumor for the two past days he had been in the Real World.
He had been moving through some desolate landscape without much clue about what he was really here for - he had hardly done more than read the dates for his next mission from the document he had soon thereafter crumbled and thrown through Kuchiki-Taichou's office. He should probably kill some hollows. Or do some more stupid renai... recon... ressa... whatever. He didn't care. As at one point there really was a group of hollows that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, the only thing Renji felt was grim satisfaction of getting at least some kind of action in this boring place. He had driven Zabimaru through their ranks with brutal force, cutting through them with such speed that the bone dust of their white masks even managed to touch the ground before it dissolved into spirit particles. Shortly thereafter, the second night of his stay in the Real World had fallen and with no more Hollows left to kill but adrenaline still pumping heavily through his body, his skin tingling with energy, he had thrown his orders to hell and opened the return gate half a day early. He wanted a confrontation and wanted it tonight.
By now Renji had reached the gates that barred the entrance to the courtyard of the Kuchiki mansion. Two guards with lanterns advanced to have a suspicious look at the late night guest, but as they recognized the tattooed Shinigami they stepped back, bowed and the gate was opened for him to pass through. Abarai Renji, Kuchiki-sama's lieutenant, was to be allowed entrance to the residence basically at all times, unless not otherwise stated by the master himself. It wasn't unusual for the red-haired man to arrive at a late hour and even thought he was in a rather questionable condition tonight - dirtied and humming with restrained energy and emotion - the guards had their orders and, coming from Kuchiki-sama, they would not be questioned.
So Renji passed through the gate and walked toward the house. But instead of entering it through the main doorway, he swerved around to approach it from the back. Yellow lanterns, arranged in key points along the narrow paths that wound through the gardens, cast a gentle, muted light onto the carefully arranged scenery. But Renji passed it all without heeding any of it. Right now the peace and serenity this place was supposed to make its visitor feel, was completely lost on him. He was agitated, tense, battle-ready. His Reiatsu was kept in loose check but it wasn't hidden away as he approached the back of the house.
Even though it must have been well past midnight, Renji could see dim light through the thin paper door still between him and what was Byakuya's bedroom, tearoom or even office, in case the noble chose to work late. The redhead paused short before the wide, wooden patio that ran along the back of the mansion. The shadow of the man he officially referred to as captain, but much more liked to refer to as lover, had the form of a seated figure on the lower left of the paper screen. The noble would be sitting at a low table, one small lamp or maybe even just a candle to his left, a cup of tea to his right, a sheet of paper before him and a brush or pen in his hand. The light would flicker and dance on his dark hair and in his dark eyes. It would cast a warm glow to his pale skin. His fingers would move over the paper in the for them natural grace and only sometimes would they pause, raising the end of his brush or pen to rest against the noble's lips, as he was absorbed in thought. It was a private gesture. One he never used in the office, one probably no other person but Renji had ever been allowed to see. The pen would press against the softness of Byakuya's lips, while those lips would be relaxed in a gentle arch and not in the tight line of his “official face”.
Renji knew this as he stood outside. Knew all of it as well as only one can know, who has chosen to preserve a precious moment of their life deep in one's memory. Renji had been witness to this scene in a night when he had been here and they had been together and had made love and had not thought about the future or what it all meant or how fast it all might break. And after their love making and afterglow bathing Byakuya had sat at his table because he had not been tired and Renji had been happy just to lie there and watch him, not wanting to miss one moment of this. And how long ago had that been? How long ago had it been that they had had any time, not even to mention a whole night together? Renji's hand tightened into hard, angry fists and the warm feeling that had grown in his midsection at the memory of a night long ago, turned into a dangerous, sharp desire that was just about to put its claws into his loins.
He stepped forward briskly, leaving the soft shadows of the gardens behind to step onto the patio and then open the door that still was between him and that man - the one he desired so much and was hurt by so deeply.
Byakuya calmly looked up at Renji as the redhead entered, having been aware of his lieutenant's approach for some time. His Reiatsu had been flashing out too strongly and erratically to miss and now that the redhead himself finally stood in Byakuya's door, it became even clearer how worked up Renji was.
“Renji,” the noble said, rose and stepped around his table, “you are back early.”
But the redhead didn't answer. His frown only deepened and he took Byakuya in, finding him just as he had known he would. The black hair was open and partly covering the right side of the noble's face, the candlelight performing a flickering shadow play on his skin. He wore a light gray kimono, only loosely bound with an even lighter obi, revealing part of his collarbone and chest.
God, how Renji wanted him. It seemed impossible, how he could be so angry at the noble but at the same time crave for him this much. It wasn't the first time he felt this, but he didn't think it had ever been this strong. Before they been together, all he felt had been so confusing and the uncertainty had kept him cautious. Now that they had been more than just captain and lieutenant for quite some time, there was nothing like that holding the redhead back. He had been on missions almost constantly for the last four weeks and their meetings in between had been short and hasty and definitely not sufficient. And last but not least there was his anger.
That, together with his roaring desire and his passionate possessiveness made for a highly volatile and very dangerous mix. And he tensed like a predator before an attack and Byakuya saw this but he remained standing still before the redhead, because this was Renji and not a tiger, not a demon.
But nonetheless Renji lunged like one.
He grabbed the collar of Byakuya's kimono and pushed the noble back several staggering steps against the wall. He was pinned against it, its hard, wooden surface at his back, Renji's full weight on his chest and then the redhead pressed their lips together in a harsh, bruising kiss. He let go of the collar and took hold of Byakuya's narrow wrists instead, raising them to secure them against the wall at the sides of the noble's head with unrelenting pressure, while he invaded the mouth that was opened for him and bit down onto those pale lips. He drew blood and there Byakuya tensed and growled, his slender body turning hard in warning. His lips were let go and Renji lowered his head to press his face against the tender spot behind the noble's ear and jawbone and paused, but never ceasing his hold, breath harsh and irregular.
He tried to get himself back under some kind of control but it was impossible. He wanted, wanted, and Byakuya's spring smell filled his nostrils and his hips rolled forward of their own accord, thrusting against the noble. As Renji's hard-on met Byakuya's own erection, unmistakable under the thin fabric of the kimono, a surprised moan escaped the dark-haired man. In that moment Renji was lost - and Byakuya with him.
The noble should have been unsettled by the redhead's actions, but the fact that he was able to control himself better did not mean he hadn't been craving for physical contact just as much as Renji had. That need left him wide open and vulnerable to the redhead's overwhelming advancement. To have the redhead here before him now, his smell of sweat and dust, of fight and anger, musky and heavy in the air, it was too much for Byakuya to stand against. Renji thrust hard against the noble, he bit down on the pale neck and shoulder, and then again in another moment their lips were locked and their fingers intertwined. With every further action the Byakuya himself was drawn deeper and deeper into the same whirlwind until he responded just as desperately.
Renji finally let go of Byakuya's hands to strip the noble from his kimono, pulling the garment down with such force that the loosely wound obi let go with it. Not even pausing to admire the slender, naked body before him, the redhead was already leaning forward again and kissing Byakuya, while blindly opening his own belts and slipping out of his white and black clothes. Just a few moments later, never minding the hakama that was still around his ankles, he took a full step forward, once again pressing the smaller man before him into the wall and also bringing their now bare bodies firmly together. Renji growled, and then he thrust forward, and then he moaned and so did Byakuya.
“Turn around,” Renji rasped between heavy breaths, grasping Byakuya's shoulders as if to simply make him, should the noble disagree. And for a moment it seemed he would, but then he did turn. Renji pulled him a little way back from the wall and in the next moment his hard, hot length was pressed between Byakuya's buttocks and the heel of one of his hands was rubbing against the noble's groin. At that double sensation on the two places that were so deliciously over-sensitive right now, Byakuya let out a gasping groan, arching his back while Renji brought both of them down onto their knees. There was a tiny moment of déjà vu, but it was snuffed out almost immediately by the sheer overload of sensation as Renji began thrusting with hip and hand alike, his hard-on rubbing hard against Byakuya's anus, his fist against the noble's erection. The dark-haired man could do nothing at all against the fact that his own low voice joined Renji's, growing in volume, but just as he became aware of that tightening, tingling feeling in his loins that told of his approaching orgasm, the redhead stopped. He gripped Byakuya around the hips with one arm and with his other hand centered on the noble's back, pushed him forward hard. Byakuya only barely managed to brace himself against the wall with one arm to keep his head from colliding with it, but before he could even grasp what was happening, Renji lifted the noble upward slightly, raising his hips, and then, with one hard push, the redhead was in him.
Completely unprepared save for the redhead's precum that had been spread partly between his cheeks moments earlier, Byakuya hissed at the sharp pain that invaded him and his first instinct was to rip himself loose, turn around and fight, but then Renji pulled out to thrust deeper and suddenly there was more. Suddenly that pain, flaming, flaring wasn't only pain but underneath it, white hot, was pleasure. And Renji thrust again, and then harder, and Byakuya moaned and growled, and it hurt but it was irresistible, it hurt, but god it was good. There was nothing refined or controlled in letting himself being taken like this, but an animalistic, raw lust had taken hold of him and he could do nothing, nothing against it at all.
Renji was a burning movement in him and behind him, holding Byakuya so fast that the redhead could feel the bones of the slender man's hips against the soft inside of his arm. And he thrust deep and hard into the tightness before him, increasing his pace until he knew it would be over soon. The hand that had been pressed against Byakuya's back, between the smaller man's shoulder blades, slipped higher until it took hold of one shoulder and pulled the noble back up. They were pressed together now, both upright, Renji's chest to Byakuya's back. It was a position that made pushing into the noble considerably harder for the redhead, but then it didn't matter anymore. He was so near that even only the little way he could still move in and out was enough.
He took hold of the black hair at the base of Byakuya's head and pulled it back and to the side firmly, exposing the long, slender neck to his teeth. And then Renji felt his peak coming, rolling down on him inexorably, and as it reached him, he tightened his embrace until they seemed viced together and then he bit down, muffling his howl against white skin, soon blossoming red. And as Byakuya felt the hard teeth drawing his blood, he snarled. And as he felt Renji's last thrust, felt the redhead come inside him, felt pain and pleasure inseparably intertwined, Byakuya cried out, being sent over the edge only moments after Renji.
They panted, they trembled, and Renji didn't let go for many more moments and when he eventually did, when he pulled out and moved back, he almost tumbled to the side because his thighs had cramped. He let himself sink back to sit on his feet, waiting for the burn in his muscles to subside and watched Byakuya's back. The noble let himself sink down to kneel as well, then he braced his lower arms against the wall and leaned forward, resting his forehead between them, taking deep breaths.
Suddenly Renji felt terrible, plunging head-on into the emotional pit that had been wrenched open by their violent, all-out encounter. There was something that felt like a hard stone in his guts, and an only slightly smaller version of it in his throat and his eyes began to burn. I hurt'im he thought. Hurt'im, again and again through his mind. He bend down and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes until he saw bright lights before the darkness of his lids, but he could not ease the burn.
It all felt so wrong now. All that rage in him, all that destruction. Only with greatest effort did he manage to keep his breathing level. But he did not know how he could ever rise from this position, how he could ever look up again, look at Byakuya, until he suddenly felt hands against the side of his face. They tugged at him, pulled him up and gently peeled his fists away from before his eyes and then his head was cradled against a graceful, pale neck and slender arms were wrapped around him.
Byakuya didn't know what he was doing. Didn't know who he was right then, but as he had turned and had seen Renji kneeling before him, curled tightly together as if something was pulling him apart from the inside - as he had seen those strong shoulders heaving with something that might or might not turn into a silent sob at any moment - there had been no thinking for the noble. There had been nothing else to do than what he had done. And even though just a moment later, holding Renji against him, Byakuya felt as if waking from a dream and part of him wondered where he was and what he was doing, he would not let go. No, there was no way he could let go.
One of his thumbs slowly stroked over one broad, black line of the tattoo on Renji's back.
It really was time for a Talk.
~~~
Rating: M (sex happening, ren/bya for now but as a passionate supporter of "The Switch" there will be both ways)
Spoilers: for end of Soul Society arc
Discl.: Bleach and all its characters are (c) to kubotite. I do not make money with this.
Content: sequel to Black-and-Red Conflict (not much of a summary? remind me to make a better one, as soon as i actually know what i'm doing...)
Word Count: about 4800
Notes: So yes, i obviously AM definitely crazy. I really don't know what's wrong with me.. but... well... it just came out, somehow. also this is a stupid working title that should change, because NO WAY am i going to write about the Soul Society/Hueco Mundo conflict (get the HELL out of my head, damn you)
oh man... shit. this is all angsty, dramatic and violent (no surprise there) and i wish i could write something happy, people, really, i do, but it seems it just doesn't work with me... and i wanted a break from byakuya and renji and then this comes out... *puts head under pillow to scream*
yeah... well, i think i did manage to have a slightly faster pace of story telling...
some more explaining in the coming chapter (haha....)
songtext snippets at the start of the chapter are: the first from aqualung - "pressure suit" and the second from travis - "re-offender"
thanks for reading, comments will be greatly appreciated
One
~ Somewhere underneath your pointed tongue and teeth is where you really are...
...drag you down from where you are ~
~ Coz you say you love me, but then you do it again, you do it again ~
The 6th division of the Gotai 13 in Seireitei, Soul Society, was alive with its usual early afternoon activity. Shinigami were going back and forth, preparing to leave on missions or coming back from them, writing reports and discussing gathered information, training. The hallways resounded with the murmur of voices and it was only in the office of Taichou and Fukutaichou of this squad that there was silence. But it was brittle, tense, on the verge of breaking. And then it did.
„This's it. I don't give a damn 'nymore. Ya've been sendin' me back and forth non-stop for the last weeks. It doesn't make sense.“
Abarai Renji had been holding the form concerning the information for his next mission before him, his hands first tightening on it and then shaking with retained anger. Now he crumbled the sheet and sent it flying through the room. It bounced off the opposite wall and rolled a little way until it came to rest almost in the exact middle of the floor.
The steel gray eyes of Kuchiki-Taichou regarded it for a few seconds before they were fixed back onto the obstinate lieutenant to his right. The redhead's table was a mess of half-written reports, unfilled forms, random scraps of paper and the occasional empty - at least Byakuya hoped so - tea cup. But for once it wasn't the messiness of his subordinate that bothered him. Or then it did, but not nearly as much as the stubbornness of that man, his inability to accept his tasks.
„Renji,“ Kuchiki-Taichou said and this time had no amusement left for the way Renji crossed his arms before his chest like a young, impertinent boy.
„You do realize that the decision is not for you to make? These are orders. They do not need to make sense to you. You just have to follow them.“
There was the hint of exasperation in that cool voice one might use when trying to explain something obvious to a particularly dumb child. It drove Renji's generally short patience to the very edge.
„No shit! Orders, just orders. Ya've ordered me over half the Real world already. I must'a killed a freakin' army of hollows out there on my own. And ya never give me a reason!“
„Defeating a dangerous creature and thus ensuring the safety of human souls doesn't hold enough reason for you? In addition it is stated clearly on this document,“ he made the tiniest motion toward the crumbled sheet of paper on the floor, „that as much time as you spend on vanquishing Hollows you should also spend on the reconnaissance of a particular area, as well as its tactical...“
„Fuck that! Tactical crap, renaissance, my ass...“
„Reconnaissance...“
„...I don't give a SHIT.“
Renji had risen from his chair, pushing it back with so much force that it almost toppled, balancing for a second precariously on two of its legs until it settled back to the floor with a thud. Byakuya's eyes narrowed.
„'s me all the damn time. I shouldn't always need ta be me. There's other people'n this squad. Ya've never send me off this much before.“
„Because now you need to prove yourself.“
There was a moment of hesitation, then, „What?“
„There is much that comes with leading a squad. You need to be familiar with all of it to become captain.“
For the moment there was no further noise from Renji, because right now his mouth was way too occupied with simply standing open. He stared at his captain in disbelief and Byakuya returned the look with a cool so-what expression that he usually reserved for stating pretty obvious and not overly interesting facts concerning the squad's everyday events. He definitely didn't look at Renji with the solemness that should have been required for a revelation like that.
„But I...,“ the redhead finally brought out, „...I don't... captain? I never said I wanted to be captain!“
Kuchiki-Taichou's brows rose the fraction of a centimeter as if in surprise. Not? they implied while Byakuya said, „You have improved considerably over the last months,“ since we have resolved our problems and started to be together, he carefully omitted, „You have become more responsible and reliable. Also, with Aizen's treason, the Gotei 13 have been weakened. To help Soul Society's situation as much as possible, everybody who is able to should take on the highest position they are qualified for. I believe you have almost reached the level of a captain.“
Renji's mouth finally closed and he looked to the floor, frowning heavily.
„But... it's... I don't understand...“
And he didn't. Over the last weeks he had been on missions almost constantly. Whenever he had actually been able to come back to Soul Society, he'd had a few days at most to take care of reports and other paper work - which by the way seemed to have increased considerably in quantity and difficulty as well. The precious little time that had still been left after the official matters had been taken care of, was used up by getting some rest and then preparing for the next departure.
Which left not time at all to spend with Byakuya. Not that the fact seemed to disturb the noble very much, and that thought alone sent another wave of anger through the redhead. His eyes focused back onto his captain and he snarled.
„I've done what ya wanted. Bin' keepin' my distance 's long as we're at work. An' this is how ya reward me?“
Byakuya's eyes narrowed dangerously as he realized in which direction Renji was heading. They had agreed they would keep their personal relationship out of their duties as captain and lieutenant. The noble had been very specific about that and would stick to it. There would be no discussion about it, especially not here in their office where at any moment some member of the squad could come blundering in to accidentally hear things that weren't meant for their ears.
„Why're ya keepin' me away...“
„Renji.“
Byakuya's voice was cold, but the hurt he saw in Renji's eyes in the next moment sent a stab of guilt through the captain and his voice became softer with his next words.
„I have my reasons for what I am doing. Can you not believe me as much?“
Renji just huffed and looked away, not in the least appeased.
„Renji,“ a little stricter again, „your gate will be opened in less than an hour. You should get yourself ready.“
The redhead could hardly believe it. His hands tightened into fists and there weren't any words left in him that could have justly expressed his anger and frustration at being disposed of just like that. He whipped around, stalked to the door of their office and ripped it open. But he turned to Byakuya once more before he left, giving his captain a look so filled with utter disappointment and accusation, that it made the noble freeze in his chair with a harsh breath caught dead in his throat.
Byakuya was not yet quite sure what exactly had went wrong this time, but he realized it must have been something grave, considering Renji's reaction. It was frustrating sometimes, how different they were, how easily they understood each other wrong. Keeping Renji away? No, that hadn't been his intention. To eventually be able to be closer to the redhead, that was the goal he was working toward. If they were both captains, instead of superior and subordinate, they would be able to be together more freely, they wouldn't have to hide. How could Renji not understand this? Why could the redhead not endure a little time apart for the sake of having it easier later on?
Byakuya, having been quite voluntarily solitary for the most part of his life only just began to grasp how much more it seemed to hurt someone like his lieutenant to be apart from the person he loved. Renji sometimes seemed to live solely for the sake of being around people. He knew the squad so well because he was involved with its members all the time. He went out with friends and moved in a crowd like a fish in water. And when he loved, then he did it with a level of devotion that might, for someone else not quite as outgoing as himself, be slightly stifling. For someone like Byakuya - more something like a metaphorical insecticide in comparison to a social butterfly - it might turn out to be truly suffocating.
But Byakuya did not actually consciously think that far. At no point had he willingly put distance between the two of them. But then some things Kuchiki Byakuya did really weren't entirely conscious, especially when it came to that strange defense mechanism that had made it almost impossible for them to come together in the first place. In the barely five months they were a couple now, he had learned to fight it successfully, but on some rare occasions it still sneaked in without Byakuya realizing it.
What he did realize was that it was time for another Talk. He knew he had hurt Renji without meaning to and he was sorry for it. But there had been no time to discuss the matter right there in the office with a mission at hand. He just hoped they would be able to resolve the problem together when Renji came back in three days.
But then Renji was back already two and a half days later, entering Seireitei in the middle of the night with a temper that could have set a forest ablaze. Or the garden of a certain Kuchiki, if it was up to the redhead. And that was exactly where he directed his steps, never minding dust, dirt and sweat that covered him.
As usual, the longer the time he had spent on thinking about what had happened, the worse it had all started to look. Byakuya was deliberately keeping them apart, that was what Renji was thinking by now. For him the fact that Byakuya wanted him to become captain just played right into that. Why not just leave their situation as it was? He found it pretty nice to at least be near Byakuya on the days, be in the same office as his captain. As for keeping their relationship a secret: until Byakuya had started that whole “let's turn Renji into Abarai-Taichou” mission, Renji had at least been able to be together with Byakuya in the nights and whenever possible on free days. So far, that had been alright with the redhead. Sure, they were fighting once in a while, since they were pretty different after all, but then it wasn't so bad. Kept things interesting, in a way.
And now, just as they were becoming used to being with each other, the noble suddenly had to change that? Renji didn't get it. What had he done wrong this time? Why did Byakuya want to get rid of him now, of all times? If Renji became captain too, they wouldn't even be in the same office anymore! The noble probably had just changed his mind about their relationship and wanted to withdraw from it. If they did not share the same office anymore, that would of course be much easier for him.
Those thoughts were what ran through Renji's head as he was moving toward the Kuchiki mansion. Caught up in his anger he was unable to see the problem from any other point of view than the one that had grown in his mind like a tumor for the two past days he had been in the Real World.
He had been moving through some desolate landscape without much clue about what he was really here for - he had hardly done more than read the dates for his next mission from the document he had soon thereafter crumbled and thrown through Kuchiki-Taichou's office. He should probably kill some hollows. Or do some more stupid renai... recon... ressa... whatever. He didn't care. As at one point there really was a group of hollows that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, the only thing Renji felt was grim satisfaction of getting at least some kind of action in this boring place. He had driven Zabimaru through their ranks with brutal force, cutting through them with such speed that the bone dust of their white masks even managed to touch the ground before it dissolved into spirit particles. Shortly thereafter, the second night of his stay in the Real World had fallen and with no more Hollows left to kill but adrenaline still pumping heavily through his body, his skin tingling with energy, he had thrown his orders to hell and opened the return gate half a day early. He wanted a confrontation and wanted it tonight.
By now Renji had reached the gates that barred the entrance to the courtyard of the Kuchiki mansion. Two guards with lanterns advanced to have a suspicious look at the late night guest, but as they recognized the tattooed Shinigami they stepped back, bowed and the gate was opened for him to pass through. Abarai Renji, Kuchiki-sama's lieutenant, was to be allowed entrance to the residence basically at all times, unless not otherwise stated by the master himself. It wasn't unusual for the red-haired man to arrive at a late hour and even thought he was in a rather questionable condition tonight - dirtied and humming with restrained energy and emotion - the guards had their orders and, coming from Kuchiki-sama, they would not be questioned.
So Renji passed through the gate and walked toward the house. But instead of entering it through the main doorway, he swerved around to approach it from the back. Yellow lanterns, arranged in key points along the narrow paths that wound through the gardens, cast a gentle, muted light onto the carefully arranged scenery. But Renji passed it all without heeding any of it. Right now the peace and serenity this place was supposed to make its visitor feel, was completely lost on him. He was agitated, tense, battle-ready. His Reiatsu was kept in loose check but it wasn't hidden away as he approached the back of the house.
Even though it must have been well past midnight, Renji could see dim light through the thin paper door still between him and what was Byakuya's bedroom, tearoom or even office, in case the noble chose to work late. The redhead paused short before the wide, wooden patio that ran along the back of the mansion. The shadow of the man he officially referred to as captain, but much more liked to refer to as lover, had the form of a seated figure on the lower left of the paper screen. The noble would be sitting at a low table, one small lamp or maybe even just a candle to his left, a cup of tea to his right, a sheet of paper before him and a brush or pen in his hand. The light would flicker and dance on his dark hair and in his dark eyes. It would cast a warm glow to his pale skin. His fingers would move over the paper in the for them natural grace and only sometimes would they pause, raising the end of his brush or pen to rest against the noble's lips, as he was absorbed in thought. It was a private gesture. One he never used in the office, one probably no other person but Renji had ever been allowed to see. The pen would press against the softness of Byakuya's lips, while those lips would be relaxed in a gentle arch and not in the tight line of his “official face”.
Renji knew this as he stood outside. Knew all of it as well as only one can know, who has chosen to preserve a precious moment of their life deep in one's memory. Renji had been witness to this scene in a night when he had been here and they had been together and had made love and had not thought about the future or what it all meant or how fast it all might break. And after their love making and afterglow bathing Byakuya had sat at his table because he had not been tired and Renji had been happy just to lie there and watch him, not wanting to miss one moment of this. And how long ago had that been? How long ago had it been that they had had any time, not even to mention a whole night together? Renji's hand tightened into hard, angry fists and the warm feeling that had grown in his midsection at the memory of a night long ago, turned into a dangerous, sharp desire that was just about to put its claws into his loins.
He stepped forward briskly, leaving the soft shadows of the gardens behind to step onto the patio and then open the door that still was between him and that man - the one he desired so much and was hurt by so deeply.
Byakuya calmly looked up at Renji as the redhead entered, having been aware of his lieutenant's approach for some time. His Reiatsu had been flashing out too strongly and erratically to miss and now that the redhead himself finally stood in Byakuya's door, it became even clearer how worked up Renji was.
“Renji,” the noble said, rose and stepped around his table, “you are back early.”
But the redhead didn't answer. His frown only deepened and he took Byakuya in, finding him just as he had known he would. The black hair was open and partly covering the right side of the noble's face, the candlelight performing a flickering shadow play on his skin. He wore a light gray kimono, only loosely bound with an even lighter obi, revealing part of his collarbone and chest.
God, how Renji wanted him. It seemed impossible, how he could be so angry at the noble but at the same time crave for him this much. It wasn't the first time he felt this, but he didn't think it had ever been this strong. Before they been together, all he felt had been so confusing and the uncertainty had kept him cautious. Now that they had been more than just captain and lieutenant for quite some time, there was nothing like that holding the redhead back. He had been on missions almost constantly for the last four weeks and their meetings in between had been short and hasty and definitely not sufficient. And last but not least there was his anger.
That, together with his roaring desire and his passionate possessiveness made for a highly volatile and very dangerous mix. And he tensed like a predator before an attack and Byakuya saw this but he remained standing still before the redhead, because this was Renji and not a tiger, not a demon.
But nonetheless Renji lunged like one.
He grabbed the collar of Byakuya's kimono and pushed the noble back several staggering steps against the wall. He was pinned against it, its hard, wooden surface at his back, Renji's full weight on his chest and then the redhead pressed their lips together in a harsh, bruising kiss. He let go of the collar and took hold of Byakuya's narrow wrists instead, raising them to secure them against the wall at the sides of the noble's head with unrelenting pressure, while he invaded the mouth that was opened for him and bit down onto those pale lips. He drew blood and there Byakuya tensed and growled, his slender body turning hard in warning. His lips were let go and Renji lowered his head to press his face against the tender spot behind the noble's ear and jawbone and paused, but never ceasing his hold, breath harsh and irregular.
He tried to get himself back under some kind of control but it was impossible. He wanted, wanted, and Byakuya's spring smell filled his nostrils and his hips rolled forward of their own accord, thrusting against the noble. As Renji's hard-on met Byakuya's own erection, unmistakable under the thin fabric of the kimono, a surprised moan escaped the dark-haired man. In that moment Renji was lost - and Byakuya with him.
The noble should have been unsettled by the redhead's actions, but the fact that he was able to control himself better did not mean he hadn't been craving for physical contact just as much as Renji had. That need left him wide open and vulnerable to the redhead's overwhelming advancement. To have the redhead here before him now, his smell of sweat and dust, of fight and anger, musky and heavy in the air, it was too much for Byakuya to stand against. Renji thrust hard against the noble, he bit down on the pale neck and shoulder, and then again in another moment their lips were locked and their fingers intertwined. With every further action the Byakuya himself was drawn deeper and deeper into the same whirlwind until he responded just as desperately.
Renji finally let go of Byakuya's hands to strip the noble from his kimono, pulling the garment down with such force that the loosely wound obi let go with it. Not even pausing to admire the slender, naked body before him, the redhead was already leaning forward again and kissing Byakuya, while blindly opening his own belts and slipping out of his white and black clothes. Just a few moments later, never minding the hakama that was still around his ankles, he took a full step forward, once again pressing the smaller man before him into the wall and also bringing their now bare bodies firmly together. Renji growled, and then he thrust forward, and then he moaned and so did Byakuya.
“Turn around,” Renji rasped between heavy breaths, grasping Byakuya's shoulders as if to simply make him, should the noble disagree. And for a moment it seemed he would, but then he did turn. Renji pulled him a little way back from the wall and in the next moment his hard, hot length was pressed between Byakuya's buttocks and the heel of one of his hands was rubbing against the noble's groin. At that double sensation on the two places that were so deliciously over-sensitive right now, Byakuya let out a gasping groan, arching his back while Renji brought both of them down onto their knees. There was a tiny moment of déjà vu, but it was snuffed out almost immediately by the sheer overload of sensation as Renji began thrusting with hip and hand alike, his hard-on rubbing hard against Byakuya's anus, his fist against the noble's erection. The dark-haired man could do nothing at all against the fact that his own low voice joined Renji's, growing in volume, but just as he became aware of that tightening, tingling feeling in his loins that told of his approaching orgasm, the redhead stopped. He gripped Byakuya around the hips with one arm and with his other hand centered on the noble's back, pushed him forward hard. Byakuya only barely managed to brace himself against the wall with one arm to keep his head from colliding with it, but before he could even grasp what was happening, Renji lifted the noble upward slightly, raising his hips, and then, with one hard push, the redhead was in him.
Completely unprepared save for the redhead's precum that had been spread partly between his cheeks moments earlier, Byakuya hissed at the sharp pain that invaded him and his first instinct was to rip himself loose, turn around and fight, but then Renji pulled out to thrust deeper and suddenly there was more. Suddenly that pain, flaming, flaring wasn't only pain but underneath it, white hot, was pleasure. And Renji thrust again, and then harder, and Byakuya moaned and growled, and it hurt but it was irresistible, it hurt, but god it was good. There was nothing refined or controlled in letting himself being taken like this, but an animalistic, raw lust had taken hold of him and he could do nothing, nothing against it at all.
Renji was a burning movement in him and behind him, holding Byakuya so fast that the redhead could feel the bones of the slender man's hips against the soft inside of his arm. And he thrust deep and hard into the tightness before him, increasing his pace until he knew it would be over soon. The hand that had been pressed against Byakuya's back, between the smaller man's shoulder blades, slipped higher until it took hold of one shoulder and pulled the noble back up. They were pressed together now, both upright, Renji's chest to Byakuya's back. It was a position that made pushing into the noble considerably harder for the redhead, but then it didn't matter anymore. He was so near that even only the little way he could still move in and out was enough.
He took hold of the black hair at the base of Byakuya's head and pulled it back and to the side firmly, exposing the long, slender neck to his teeth. And then Renji felt his peak coming, rolling down on him inexorably, and as it reached him, he tightened his embrace until they seemed viced together and then he bit down, muffling his howl against white skin, soon blossoming red. And as Byakuya felt the hard teeth drawing his blood, he snarled. And as he felt Renji's last thrust, felt the redhead come inside him, felt pain and pleasure inseparably intertwined, Byakuya cried out, being sent over the edge only moments after Renji.
They panted, they trembled, and Renji didn't let go for many more moments and when he eventually did, when he pulled out and moved back, he almost tumbled to the side because his thighs had cramped. He let himself sink back to sit on his feet, waiting for the burn in his muscles to subside and watched Byakuya's back. The noble let himself sink down to kneel as well, then he braced his lower arms against the wall and leaned forward, resting his forehead between them, taking deep breaths.
Suddenly Renji felt terrible, plunging head-on into the emotional pit that had been wrenched open by their violent, all-out encounter. There was something that felt like a hard stone in his guts, and an only slightly smaller version of it in his throat and his eyes began to burn. I hurt'im he thought. Hurt'im, again and again through his mind. He bend down and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes until he saw bright lights before the darkness of his lids, but he could not ease the burn.
It all felt so wrong now. All that rage in him, all that destruction. Only with greatest effort did he manage to keep his breathing level. But he did not know how he could ever rise from this position, how he could ever look up again, look at Byakuya, until he suddenly felt hands against the side of his face. They tugged at him, pulled him up and gently peeled his fists away from before his eyes and then his head was cradled against a graceful, pale neck and slender arms were wrapped around him.
Byakuya didn't know what he was doing. Didn't know who he was right then, but as he had turned and had seen Renji kneeling before him, curled tightly together as if something was pulling him apart from the inside - as he had seen those strong shoulders heaving with something that might or might not turn into a silent sob at any moment - there had been no thinking for the noble. There had been nothing else to do than what he had done. And even though just a moment later, holding Renji against him, Byakuya felt as if waking from a dream and part of him wondered where he was and what he was doing, he would not let go. No, there was no way he could let go.
One of his thumbs slowly stroked over one broad, black line of the tattoo on Renji's back.
It really was time for a Talk.
~~~