Diverging
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.
It recently occurred to me that the word yellow is significant because it indicates a specific season without specifically naming it. Fall is my favorite season-a shooting star that blazes a path of glory across deciduous trees-fleeting, but spectacular in a bittersweet display of declining grandeur. The world refuses to die in any manner but beautifully. But I like fall for more than its beauty. I also love it for its symbolism.
By literary convention, the season of fall symbolizes either the later years of one’s life or major life changes. Fall is, after all, the season of change. So, in Frost’s poem, taking the road less traveled makes all the difference. Is that because the choice is made when the narrator is later in life and won’t have the opportunity to come back because of his age or because he is facing changes and all choices, once made, tend to be the kind you can’t go back to remake? I think that the reason isn’t necessarily that he’s old. Rather, he just realizes that the road he’s chosen has irrevocably changed his life. He will never have another opportunity to remake the decision he faced. The poem is written in retrospect. Hindsight always seems to be clearer than foresight when in the middle of decision making. I wonder if the narrator realized the significance of his choice as he made it or if it was a realization that only dawned upon him incrementally. How much distance does it take to be able to identify cause and effect?
I find myself pondering these things because this has been a season of change followed by more change.
Prior to December, I had never been in Minnesota. In the middle of the third worst winter ever recorded, I moved from Florida to a small town an hour north of Minneapolis. My parents had moved here several months earlier; and, since I was graduating without any clear direction for what to do with my life, my parents suggested I move in with them for a while. It was great idea in concept but a difficult transition to make. I had no job, no friends, no car, no church family, and within a few weeks of moving to Minnesota, no boyfriend. It was an incredibly lonely time during which I learned a great deal about God’s grace and the value of good friends who take the time to call on a frequent basis.
At first, I hated Minnesota. It seemed that the sun seldom shined. The monotony of grey clouds, white snow, and dead trees seemed endless. But little by little, things started to improve. I bought a car (a 1994 Volskwagen Jetta named Charlie), joined a gym, and became involved with a ladies Bible study at a local church. “Grace for Every Trial” was the title of the Bible study, and we went through the book of Job. It was a gift to be reminded of the magnitude of my God, the comparable insignificance of my own trials, and the grace that is sufficient to meet all of my needs-no matter how trivial they may or may not be.
In addition to finding a great church, I got a job. Had anyone suggested four months ago that I would be working in a store that sells undergarments, I would have scoffed. I never imagined that being a certified bra-fit consultant would be among my occupational credentials. But if there’s anything I have learned about life, it’s that life seldom turns out the way you expect it to. Not only did I fail to anticipate the employment God would provide, but I also never expected that I would like retail as much as I do. I can honestly say that I have never enjoyed any position more than I enjoyed my few months at the Legg’s/Bali/Hanes store in our outlet mall. I’ve heard horror stories about retail, but other than the constantly fluctuating hours and the barely having enough hours to pay for putting gas in my car, I really enjoyed the experience. I also discovered that I’m pretty good at selling products (Hooray for unexpected talents ^_^). Helping other people spend their money is even more fun than spending my own.
But if I’m going to work a minimum-wage paying job, I want to do something that matters. I have a social personality, so retail was great fun; but I want to make a difference in people’s lives that lasts longer than ensuring that they have well-fitting, smooth-looking support under their tee-shirts. I graduated with a Master’s degree in English education. Staying here and working retail for forever would be easy-especially now that my younger sister and her husband and kids have moved here. But I think some part of my soul would shrivel if I were to do that. I want to do more with my life than just sell products to people (even if they are good quality, necessary products). I want to invest in lives.
In addition to applying to almost every store in the outlet mall, seeking temporary employment, I’ve also been pursuing employment as a teacher. At first, the quest to find a place to teach was almost as depressing as my introduction to MN. Closed door after closed door. In retrospect, though it seemed like a lengthy quest, God opened doors relatively quickly. Several weeks ago, I accepted a teaching position in North Carolina.
I leave tomorrow.
In about six hours, I will be on my way to the airport for two months of summer camp in Florida followed by a fresh start in a new state in August. People keep asking me if I’m excited. Of course I am excited. But at the same time, I’m absolutely terrified. I have a lot of respect for Abraham. He set out not even knowing where he was going, but having faith that God would take care of him. I know where I’m going, yet I find myself reluctant to take the steps that lead to where I know God wants me to be. I think part are of it is that Minnesota has finally begun to grow on me. Then again, that’s what things supposed to do in the spring, right? Spring came slowly to Minnesota (excruciatingly slowly-we had snow in MAY!), but now that it’s here, everything is lush and green and lovely. And I’m really not looking forward to not having my family nearby. It’s been wonderful to have my parents, my sister, and my granny. But new adventures await. And God’s grace is sufficient for this as well. Teaching Jr. High is going to be crazy. But I’m looking forward to meddling in the lives of young people.
A new road to travel.
Let the adventure begin. ^_^
It recently occurred to me that the word yellow is significant because it indicates a specific season without specifically naming it. Fall is my favorite season-a shooting star that blazes a path of glory across deciduous trees-fleeting, but spectacular in a bittersweet display of declining grandeur. The world refuses to die in any manner but beautifully. But I like fall for more than its beauty. I also love it for its symbolism.
By literary convention, the season of fall symbolizes either the later years of one’s life or major life changes. Fall is, after all, the season of change. So, in Frost’s poem, taking the road less traveled makes all the difference. Is that because the choice is made when the narrator is later in life and won’t have the opportunity to come back because of his age or because he is facing changes and all choices, once made, tend to be the kind you can’t go back to remake? I think that the reason isn’t necessarily that he’s old. Rather, he just realizes that the road he’s chosen has irrevocably changed his life. He will never have another opportunity to remake the decision he faced. The poem is written in retrospect. Hindsight always seems to be clearer than foresight when in the middle of decision making. I wonder if the narrator realized the significance of his choice as he made it or if it was a realization that only dawned upon him incrementally. How much distance does it take to be able to identify cause and effect?
I find myself pondering these things because this has been a season of change followed by more change.
Prior to December, I had never been in Minnesota. In the middle of the third worst winter ever recorded, I moved from Florida to a small town an hour north of Minneapolis. My parents had moved here several months earlier; and, since I was graduating without any clear direction for what to do with my life, my parents suggested I move in with them for a while. It was great idea in concept but a difficult transition to make. I had no job, no friends, no car, no church family, and within a few weeks of moving to Minnesota, no boyfriend. It was an incredibly lonely time during which I learned a great deal about God’s grace and the value of good friends who take the time to call on a frequent basis.
At first, I hated Minnesota. It seemed that the sun seldom shined. The monotony of grey clouds, white snow, and dead trees seemed endless. But little by little, things started to improve. I bought a car (a 1994 Volskwagen Jetta named Charlie), joined a gym, and became involved with a ladies Bible study at a local church. “Grace for Every Trial” was the title of the Bible study, and we went through the book of Job. It was a gift to be reminded of the magnitude of my God, the comparable insignificance of my own trials, and the grace that is sufficient to meet all of my needs-no matter how trivial they may or may not be.
In addition to finding a great church, I got a job. Had anyone suggested four months ago that I would be working in a store that sells undergarments, I would have scoffed. I never imagined that being a certified bra-fit consultant would be among my occupational credentials. But if there’s anything I have learned about life, it’s that life seldom turns out the way you expect it to. Not only did I fail to anticipate the employment God would provide, but I also never expected that I would like retail as much as I do. I can honestly say that I have never enjoyed any position more than I enjoyed my few months at the Legg’s/Bali/Hanes store in our outlet mall. I’ve heard horror stories about retail, but other than the constantly fluctuating hours and the barely having enough hours to pay for putting gas in my car, I really enjoyed the experience. I also discovered that I’m pretty good at selling products (Hooray for unexpected talents ^_^). Helping other people spend their money is even more fun than spending my own.
But if I’m going to work a minimum-wage paying job, I want to do something that matters. I have a social personality, so retail was great fun; but I want to make a difference in people’s lives that lasts longer than ensuring that they have well-fitting, smooth-looking support under their tee-shirts. I graduated with a Master’s degree in English education. Staying here and working retail for forever would be easy-especially now that my younger sister and her husband and kids have moved here. But I think some part of my soul would shrivel if I were to do that. I want to do more with my life than just sell products to people (even if they are good quality, necessary products). I want to invest in lives.
In addition to applying to almost every store in the outlet mall, seeking temporary employment, I’ve also been pursuing employment as a teacher. At first, the quest to find a place to teach was almost as depressing as my introduction to MN. Closed door after closed door. In retrospect, though it seemed like a lengthy quest, God opened doors relatively quickly. Several weeks ago, I accepted a teaching position in North Carolina.
I leave tomorrow.
In about six hours, I will be on my way to the airport for two months of summer camp in Florida followed by a fresh start in a new state in August. People keep asking me if I’m excited. Of course I am excited. But at the same time, I’m absolutely terrified. I have a lot of respect for Abraham. He set out not even knowing where he was going, but having faith that God would take care of him. I know where I’m going, yet I find myself reluctant to take the steps that lead to where I know God wants me to be. I think part are of it is that Minnesota has finally begun to grow on me. Then again, that’s what things supposed to do in the spring, right? Spring came slowly to Minnesota (excruciatingly slowly-we had snow in MAY!), but now that it’s here, everything is lush and green and lovely. And I’m really not looking forward to not having my family nearby. It’s been wonderful to have my parents, my sister, and my granny. But new adventures await. And God’s grace is sufficient for this as well. Teaching Jr. High is going to be crazy. But I’m looking forward to meddling in the lives of young people.
A new road to travel.
Let the adventure begin. ^_^