Fic: Templar Moon

[featheredraven]

Title: Templar Moon
Characters/Pairings: F!Hawke/Anders
Rating: PG
Summary: They keep waiting for the Templars to come for them, but maybe there's a reason they haven't yet.
A/N: Set somewhere between the end of Act 2 and before Act 3 starts. Hopefully the concept I was trying to get across with this (why the Templars might not have come for a mage

Comments

[jediboadicea]

Oh man, there is so much good fic getting posted scattered all throughout these journals, I'm lucky to stumble across the gems. And I'm glad I clicked on this one!

You did such a great job with the dialogue here, particularly with Anders' speech patterns. There's nothing quite so gratifying, in fic, as being able to hear the voices we know speaking these lines.

The desperation here is palpable, and just perfect for both the characters and the moment in the arc of the story. It is heartbreaking to see Anders like this, and that alone is proof, to me, that you've captured him perfectly for this moment in time. Right at the wave's crest of despair, just before he begins to crash.

Mostly I love how well you conveyed everything that remains unspoken here. I love that you showed Anders being supportive of Hawke, since so much of what we see in game goes the other way. But more than that, I love that you managed to convey the way his support, while genuine, does not change the fact that he clearly thinks her efforts doomed.

A couple really great, subtle bits that I particularly liked:

“You've...spoken to her about this.” So close on the edge of betrayal, there. I love it.

When did she get so frightened that anything she says to him will bring out Justice? I love how much that implies about the nature of their relationship and the way it has changed over the years. Not just in matters of fear, but in the fact that it wasn't always so, and also that that she can recognize the signs and knows how best to try and control things, to mitigate the damage.

And the ending line is wonderful. Chilling and sad, and really getting right at the core of Anders, as a character, at this point in his losing struggle.

[featheredraven]

Oh, I'm glad that Anders sounds like himself! I always try to get the character voices right, but I'm not always certain it works.

The line When did she get so frightened that anything she says to him will bring out Justice? was actually the first thing I came up with for this (and, incidentally, I almost forgot to put it in when I was writing it...*sigh*). I wanted Hawke to acknowledge that there's something wrong in this relationship, but that it wasn't always like that.