Birthday!
It's teand's birthday today!
I'm sorry you're stuck in internet limbo with icky people. ::cuddles you:: Hopefully the time will fly and you'll be back home before you know it.
Here's a little J2 fic to help brighten your day. :D
Jared and Jensen, completely unbetated. Meep! *g*
About 4000 words.
Adult rating.
Jared pulled out his phone, took a deep breath, and pressed the speed dial button. He swallowed hard while it rang, his heart heavy, but his stomach was doing weird things, caught up in an unfathomable mix of dread, sorrow, hope, relief, and a dozen other things he couldn't name.
He could picture it all, how the phone in Jensen's pocket would ring, startling him out of his lazy stupor. He was probably sprawled in his chair onset, waiting while the lighting guys moved the rig or the sound guys did a systems check. He'd recognize the tone and grin, stretch his leg out straight, and shove his hand into his pocket after the phone.
"Jay!" Jared heard, Jensen's voice filled with a warm happiness.
"Hey, Jen." Jared said, and then couldn't say anything more, could only breathe and hold on while the world spun out of control.
Jared could imagine this too-- how Jensen's eyebrows would draw together, his shoulders tense up, and a frown draw his mouth down.
"Talk," Jensen said shortly.
Jared winced because he recognized that bark, that 'I'm going to get on a plane and kick the ass of whoever upset you' voice.
Jared felt his throat close up. He couldn't say it, couldn't make it real, couldn't stand to hear the over-protectiveness in Jensen's voice. Jared was suddenly sure that the phone call was a bad, bad idea.
"Jared," Jensen said after a moment, gentler. "What's up, man?"
It was the gentleness that made Jared break. "I . . . fuck, Jen. This is so messed up."
"What's messed up?"
Jared's brain supplied the picture in detail-Sandy sitting him down and asking him, her eyes pleading. The memory of him and Jensen naked and entwined on Jared's bed, drunk, but not that drunk, both knowing exactly what they were doing-- Jared's calluses rough on Jen's skin, Jensen's breath hot on his throat, teeth scraping, fingers gripping, skin sliding, both of them getting a taste of something they'd wanted.
Still wanted. Or, at least something he still wanted. He was pretty sure Jen wanted it too, but they'd left Canada the next day, both of them going off to their summer projects.
Jared took a few deep breaths, trying to steady his voice. "Sandy."
"What about Sandy?"
"She knows."
Jensen didn't say anything. Jared couldn't even hear him breathing.
"I thought I could hide it, you know?" Jared continued in a rush, trusting that Jensen would follow his train of thought. "It was just that once, right? I mean, I know she's not an oblivious girl, but . . ." Jared's breath came in choked up rattles. "I thought I could forget, but I couldn't, and she knew."
"Jared, man," Jensen said softly. "I'm sorry."
"She asked me to choose," Jared said in a strangled laugh. "She asked me to promise her it was over, and I couldn't do it, Jen. I couldn't promise it would never happen again."
Jensen didn't say anything, but Jared could picture it, how Jensen got very still, trying to keep his face a mask, and probably succeeding.
"Even if it never happens again, I couldn't promise her I wouldn't want it," Jared continued, stumbling over the words.
"How did she find out?" Jensen asked, his voice quiet.
"Don't know," Jared said. "I think she just knew."
Jared heard Jensen take a few deep breaths. "Fuck, Jay."
"Yeah," Jared said shallowly. "So we ended it. It's over."
"I'm sure you can talk to her . . ."
"No," Jared cut him off, his voice a little stronger, but still laced with pain. "No, she's right. I can't marry her if we want different things."
"She wants you," Jensen started.
"And I want you," Jared finished.
"You can still have her," Jensen said, a funny catch in his voice, like he hadn't heard what Jared had just said. "You can still fix this."
"And live a lie? No, Jensen. I can't do that to her, and I can't do that to me, and I can't do that to you, either."
Jensen didn't say anything. Hell, he probably didn't know what to say.
"I understand if you don't want this, Jen," Jared said. He laughed a short laugh. "Hell, I shouldn't have done this over the phone, but I wanted you to know before the rumor mill cranked up to full gear."
Jared heard Jensen take a deep breath. "Jared," he said. "It's okay."
"Is it?"
"Yeah. Well, not right now, but it will be."
"God, Jen. I've got that breakfast thing tomorrow. I need to go up on stage and tell them. I need to tell them it's over."
"You don't."
"Yeah, I do. They'll find out soon enough anyway. I'd rather be the one to break the news."
"That's going to suck," Jensen said with total conviction, and Jared could hear the horror in Jen's voice at the thought of getting up on stage in front of a bunch of fans and making that announcement.
"Jim will be there."
"Good. At least you'll have an ally in the trenches," Jensen said, sounding a little easier. He paused for a heartbeat. "Wish I could be there to back you up."
"Yeah, me too," Jared paused. "I still care about her, Jensen," he said, his voice sounding choked again.
"I know, Jared. I know."
"But I, you know, you too."
And there it was, the blatant truth.
"Yeah, Jay. Me too," Jensen answered softly.
"What am I going to do?" Jared asked. And he felt so alone and miserable that he was sure Jensen could hear it in his voice.
"You're going to take it one step at a time," Jensen said, firmly. "You're going to face the ravening horde tomorrow, make it through the rest of the summer, then go back to Vancouver."
"Vancouver," Jared said, and his voice was filled with a kind of longing. "I never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait to get back there." Jared was surprised to find he really did feel that way. Canada was different from the rest of the world, at least for him. When they were up there working they lived in a kind of isolated cocoon, wrapped up in the show and the long hours and each other until nothing else seemed real.
"You can't wait to be stuck seeing my ugly mug every waking minute?" Jensen asked, teasing.
Jared snorted a laugh. "For some strange reason, I miss your ugly mug."
"Miss yours too," Jensen said softly, and Jared felt something loosen in his chest.
"The thing is, Jen, when she asked me, I could imagine not seeing her again. I knew it would hurt, but I could live with it. I didn't feel the same way when I thought about not seeing you again."
"Yeah," Jensen said, agreeing, and Jared suddenly knew deep in his gut that they were on the same page. At the end of the season, after living in each other's back pockets for nine solid months, he was happy, no, thrilled to take a break from Jen-- for a full day or so. After that there was an empty hole in his chest that only seemed to fill a little when he heard Jensen's voice.
"Listen, Jay. Just take it one step at a time, lean on Jim, and get through tomorrow. The rest will sort itself out."
"I know," Jared said, feeling a little lighter, a little freer, almost liberated.
Jared heard someone calling to Jensen.
"Shit. Jared. I've got to go."
"Okay. Tell me to break a leg."
"Break a leg. Don't forget. I've got your back, man."
"Thanks, Jen. I'll catch you later."
~~
Jared found an out of the way corner, flipped his phone open, hit speed dial, and waited until Jen picked up. "Jensen?" Jared asked, a smile in his voice. "Why is your family here?"
"Umm, they live there?"
Jared snorted. "Not Dallas, you idiot. The con."
Jared could hear the answering smile in Jensen's voice. "Don't know. Maybe you should go up and ask them."
"You called them." It wasn't a question.
"What makes you say that?" Jensen answered, and Jared could hear the smile in his voice.
Jared laughed. "You didn't have to, but thanks, man."
"Any time, Jay."
~~
Jared turned onto his street and Sadie and Harley perked up, getting restless, smelling the familiar scents. He pulled into his driveway, shut off the engine, and turned to the back seat. "You guys glad to be home?"
Sadie's ears swiveled, listening to him but looking toward the house eagerly. Harley completely ignored him, eyes focused on the car door, back-end wagging like crazy. Jared laughed. "I'll take that as a yes." He climbed out and opened the door, stepping out of the way quickly so he wouldn't be barreled over by two exuberant dogs. They raced up to his front door and stood waiting. He laughed again and felt a little of the stress and sorrow he'd been feeling lift. He was back home.
They hadn't talked about it, not really, he and Jen. Not that they would anyway, but figuring out where they were going from here, if anywhere, wasn't something they could do over the phone. They needed to be in the same city for that to happen.
Jensen was flying in tomorrow.
Jared felt his stomach tighten at the thought-- part nerves, part anticipation, and mostly joy.
"C'mon, guys," Jared said, unlocking the front door. "Let's get moved back in."
~~
Jared ran through the early morning fog-- legs pounding the pavement in a steady rhythm, heart pumping, sweat trickling down his chest and back, lungs expanding and contracting, the morning dampness clinging to his hair. He felt alive, maybe for the first time in a month.
He checked his watch. Jensen's flight arrived in two hours. He ran along the loop going back to his house. He had enough time for a shower and breakfast before heading to the airport.
~~
Jared paced around baggage claim and stopped briefly to check the arrivals board again. Jensen's flight had arrived. He was here-- here in Vancouver, here in Jared's space.
Maybe even in Jared's life.
Not that it would all be figured out next to baggage claim number three, but still.
Jared took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. This was all so stupid. It was just Jensen, his best friend, a guy he'd known for years.
Except now there was the possibility they would be more than that.
Or maybe not.
Jared stifled a groan of frustration and fought the urge to scrub his hands through his hair.
He tried to focus on today, the present, and not think too much about what might happen tomorrow.
Or tonight.
But, the one thing Jared knew about himself was that he was a guy who had hope, and he couldn't help thinking about tomorrow.
He scanned the crowd coming out of customs and felt a grin split his face when he caught his first sight of Jensen. He was striding forward before he even realized he'd given his legs the command, long steps eating up the space between them. "Jen!" he called out, happiness infusing his voice.
Jensen's eyes found his, and Jared's breath caught in his throat, because, goddamn, Jensen looked good-- hair tinged with blonde, freckles standing out on his face, stubble gracing his jaw line, those green, green eyes crinkled in a warm, genuine smile.
They sort of crashed into each other, catching each other up in a rough hug.
"You made it," Jared said.
"You've bulked up," Jensen answered.
Jared laughed and pulled away. He shrugged. "Had to spend my time doing something."
"I guess," Jensen said easily, but his eyes were searching, looking deep.
"I'm okay," Jared said softly.
Jensen looked for another moment, then a sort of tension left his shoulders. "Yeah," he said. "You are."
Jared grinned, feeling lighter than he had in who knew how long. "Let's get your bags and get out of here."
"Lead on," Jensen said, grinning back, and suddenly it was like the world righted itself.
They talked as they waited for the luggage, sharing stories about what happened on their film sets, teasing each other about press releases-- Jensen being billed as a young Steve McQueen, Jared getting cut on the forehead with that fake movie glass.
It was effortless. After a few minutes it was like they'd never spent the summer apart. But then, it was always like this. They fell back into each other with an ease that was surreal.
Jared looked with dismay at the pile of luggage around them. "Do we need one of those carts?"
Jensen snorted. "Use some of those muscles, Gigantor." He picked up three of the bags, leaving the other four to Jared, and threw a smirk over his shoulder as he walked toward the exit.
"Yeah, thanks for that!" Jared called after him with exasperated fondness as he juggled the remaining luggage, but he was grinning, suddenly filled with a bubbling kind of happiness.
They were loading up the back of the car when Jared impulsively said, "Come over tonight? After you unpack?"
Jensen grinned at him. "Absolutely."
~~
"Damn, that was good," Jensen said, setting the take-out carton on the coffee table. He snagged his beer, propped his feet up on the coffee table, took a big swig, then let out a contented belch.
"Hmmm," Jared murmured in agreement, taking a big swallow of his own beer. He leaned back against the deep cushions of the couch and let out a sigh. "We need to enjoy this. It's back to the old grind in a few days."
"I know," Jensen agreed.
"Madden?" Jared invited.
"Oh, hell yeah," Jensen said, reaching for the game controller. "I'm so going to kick your ass."
"Bring it on," Jared laughed, getting up to put the game in.
The funny thing was, they hadn't talked about it, hadn't made a move, hadn't done anything to resolve the issue of them, but it was like they were both waiting for something, not in a weird kind of way, but in an expectant kind of way. At least Jared was. After a few minutes of playing he risked a glance to the side, taking in Jensen's face, screwed up in concentration, and smiled.
"What?" Jensen asked, mashing the buttons on his controller.
"Nothing," Jared said, and returned his attention to the game.
Later, after Jared had totally kicked Jensen's ass, they put in a movie and settled in, sitting close enough to bump shoulders. Jared felt his eyelids sliding shut for the fifth or sixth time and jerked them open. He looked over and saw that Jensen was out like a light, beer in danger of tipping out of his slack hand.
Jared forced himself to move. Yeah, the couch was big, but not that big, not big enough for both of them to sleep on it all night. He pushed himself up, gently took the beer out of Jen's hand, turned off the TV, and shook Jensen's shoulder. "Jen, wake up."
"Jay?" Jensen said sleepily.
"Listen. Why don't you stay here?"
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I think my couch misses you."
"Okay," Jensen agreed, and stood up, starting to take off his jeans.
"You know where the blankets are." Jared said, heading for his bedroom. Then he turned and took a fortifying breath. "Unless you want to come in the bedroom with me."
Jensen suddenly didn't look at all sleepy. In fact, he looked at Jared with a speculative gleam in his eye. "You sure?" he asked again, but holy shit, this time his voice was low and husky, a sound that went straight to Jared's cock.
"Yeah," Jared said, shivering, and turned to walk to his room. He stopped by his bed, back to the door, and crossed his arms in front of him, grasped the hem of his shirt, and lifted it off over his head. He felt more than heard Jensen come up behind him, then one of Jen's arms wrapped around him low around his waist, the other higher up over his chest, and Jensen fitted himself to Jared's back. He pulled Jared back against him, taking some of his weight, and rested his chin on Jared's shoulder. "We can just sleep," he offered.
Jared turned to face him, looking at the way the moonlight lit the hollows and planes of Jensen's face. "We can sleep," he said with conviction. "Later." He reached up with one hand, cupped Jensen's jaw, and bent his head until their lips brushed.
"Jared," Jensen breathed, then moved one of his hands up to cup Jared's skull and pulled him down closer.
Their lips met again, firmer but still soft, and Jared groaned at the feeling of Jensen's body against his, Jensen's lips meeting his, the light flick of Jen's tongue against his lower lip. He reached out with his own tongue to touch, just the tip, as his hands moved around to Jensen's back, working their way up underneath his shirt to feel warm skin over hard muscle, and felt Jensen shiver against him.
"Fuck," Jensen groaned, pushing closer, close enough that Jared could feel his erection through the denim.
"Yeah," Jared panted. He pulled back, suddenly needing to be naked and on the bed, wanting to feel Jensen next to him, on him, all-the-fuck over him. "C'mon." He started in on the button on his jeans, working it open, fingers going to the zipper, then stopped, because Jensen had tugged off his shirt, and the way the moonlight lit his face was nothing compared to how it lit his chest-- the shadows and light highlighting smooth, strong muscle, shallow dips and curves, the hard nubs of his nipples.
He watched as Jensen shucked his jeans and socks, how he stood proud and naked, erection jutting up from the dark patch between his legs.
Jesus. Jensen was beautiful. So beautiful that Jared's breath caught in his throat, because this was happening, this was his to touch and taste and love.
Then Jensen's fingers were covering his, helping him get out of his own pants. He stepped out of them, toed off his socks, and laughed when Jensen shoved him back on the bed. Jensen crawled on after him and settled in, easing their bodies together.
Jared stopped laughing.
Instead, he curled his hand around Jensen's head and pulled him down into another kiss, letting this one get deep and dirty, his cock twitching when Jensen groaned and moved his hips, lining them up, hard cock against hard cock.
"Shit, Jay," Jensen said, breathing into his mouth.
"Yeah," Jared agreed, reaching down to grasp Jensen's ass, tugging him close, feeling the firm muscles tense and release as Jensen moved against him. He pushed up, rubbing, and latched onto Jensen's mouth again.
Jared could feel it building way too quickly, a mind-blowing release just a few thrusts away. He tried to slow things down, tried to draw it out, but then Jensen did something that pushed him over the edge, such a simple thing-- Jensen reached up, pulled the pillow out from underneath Jared's head, and tossed it to the floor.
For some reason, Jensen moving him, positioning him like that, putting his body the way he wanted it, curled deeply into Jared's belly, pushing him toward the edge.
"Jensen," he gasped, thrust up once, twice more, and his balls drew up tight, his cock spurting between their bodies as waves of pleasure washed him over and away.
From a distance he heard Jensen groan, "God, Jay," and had just enough presence of mind to hold him through his own release.
They lay tangled together, panting, aftershocks running through both of them. Jared cleared his throat experimentally then said, "Oops."
Jensen snickered against his neck. "Oops, what?"
"Oops, that was fast."
Jensen laughed lightly and lifted his head, giving Jared a long, lingering kiss. "Fast, but good."
"Yeah," Jared agreed, kissing Jensen again.
Jensen yawned and rolled to the side, reaching down and snagging Jared's discarded shirt from the floor. He mopped up the worst of the mess and said with a smirk, "We'll work on your stamina next time."
Jared punched him in the arm. "I seem to recall that you were right behind me, you asshole."
Jensen laughed and rolled back on top of him. "Okay," he murmured against Jared's lips. "We'll both work on our stamina next time."
"Agreed," Jared said, smiling, and wrapped his arms around Jensen's back, keeping him close.
~~
Three weeks of shooting, three weeks of working crazy hours, three weeks them catching sleep when they could, and Jared still woke up right before the alarm went off. He'd gotten into the habit because Jensen didn't wake up pretty, especially if there wasn't any coffee made. He untangled himself, shut his alarm off, then padded to the bathroom. He let the dogs out before making his way to the kitchen to start a pot brewing. Ten minutes later he heard Jensen's alarm go off, and the answering groan.
Jared grinned.
Jensen came stumbling bleary-eyed into the kitchen. "Coffee," he croaked.
"Good morning!" Jared said brightly, just to get a reaction.
"Oh, fuck you," Jensen grumbled. He snagged his coffee cup out of the cabinet and held it out, still half asleep, swaying on his feet.
Jared obligingly filled his mug before topping off his own. He watched as Jensen took his first sip, then another, consciousness returning with every taste of caffeine. "Car will be here in half an hour," he reminded Jensen.
"I know, I know," Jensen said. He took his cup with him as he headed to the shower.
Jared smiled, let the dogs back in, and followed.
Jensen had just adjusted the water temperature and stepped underneath the spray when Jared entered the bathroom. He stepped out of his pajama pants and climbed in, the double showerhead letting him wet his hair without dislodging Jensen from the hot water. He reached for the shampoo and was scrubbing his head when he looked over and saw Jensen, leaning straight-armed against the wall, letting the spray pound over his head and neck.
"I think you should move in," Jared said out of the blue.
Jensen straightened up and turned his head, blinking shiny droplets of water out of his eyelashes. "What?"
"I think you should move in. You practically live here anyway."
Jensen narrowed his eyes. "Are you serious? I'm a grumpy ass in the morning."
Jared snorted a laugh. "Tell me something I don't know." He stretched back, rinsing the shampoo out of his hair, then leaned forward and wrapped Jensen in his arms, pulling him close. He rubbed his cheek against Jensen's, liking how their stubble caught and rasped. "I like your grumpy ass in the morning. C'mon, Jen. Move in with me."
"You're serious."
"Yeah."
Jensen looked at him warily. "You know it isn't fair springing this on me when I'm only half awake."
Jared grinned. "Why do you think I asked now? I don't want you over-thinking this."
"You want me to move in."
"Yes."
"You want us to live together."
"Yes."
Jensen looked up at him, his eyes suddenly awake and alert. A smile lit his face. "Okay," he said in his slowest, sexiest Texas drawl.
"Hey!" Jared protested. "No fair using that voice on me. Not when we've got to be ready in fifteen minutes."
Jensen smirked, stepped out of Jared's arms and back underneath the water before reaching for the soap. "We'd better get going, then. We can start moving my stuff in this weekend."
"Yeah?" Jared asked, eyes serious.
"Yeah." Jensen answered, just as serious, then he laughed a happy laugh and pulled Jared's head down for a kiss.
I'm sorry you're stuck in internet limbo with icky people. ::cuddles you:: Hopefully the time will fly and you'll be back home before you know it.
Here's a little J2 fic to help brighten your day. :D
Jared and Jensen, completely unbetated. Meep! *g*
About 4000 words.
Adult rating.
Jared pulled out his phone, took a deep breath, and pressed the speed dial button. He swallowed hard while it rang, his heart heavy, but his stomach was doing weird things, caught up in an unfathomable mix of dread, sorrow, hope, relief, and a dozen other things he couldn't name.
He could picture it all, how the phone in Jensen's pocket would ring, startling him out of his lazy stupor. He was probably sprawled in his chair onset, waiting while the lighting guys moved the rig or the sound guys did a systems check. He'd recognize the tone and grin, stretch his leg out straight, and shove his hand into his pocket after the phone.
"Jay!" Jared heard, Jensen's voice filled with a warm happiness.
"Hey, Jen." Jared said, and then couldn't say anything more, could only breathe and hold on while the world spun out of control.
Jared could imagine this too-- how Jensen's eyebrows would draw together, his shoulders tense up, and a frown draw his mouth down.
"Talk," Jensen said shortly.
Jared winced because he recognized that bark, that 'I'm going to get on a plane and kick the ass of whoever upset you' voice.
Jared felt his throat close up. He couldn't say it, couldn't make it real, couldn't stand to hear the over-protectiveness in Jensen's voice. Jared was suddenly sure that the phone call was a bad, bad idea.
"Jared," Jensen said after a moment, gentler. "What's up, man?"
It was the gentleness that made Jared break. "I . . . fuck, Jen. This is so messed up."
"What's messed up?"
Jared's brain supplied the picture in detail-Sandy sitting him down and asking him, her eyes pleading. The memory of him and Jensen naked and entwined on Jared's bed, drunk, but not that drunk, both knowing exactly what they were doing-- Jared's calluses rough on Jen's skin, Jensen's breath hot on his throat, teeth scraping, fingers gripping, skin sliding, both of them getting a taste of something they'd wanted.
Still wanted. Or, at least something he still wanted. He was pretty sure Jen wanted it too, but they'd left Canada the next day, both of them going off to their summer projects.
Jared took a few deep breaths, trying to steady his voice. "Sandy."
"What about Sandy?"
"She knows."
Jensen didn't say anything. Jared couldn't even hear him breathing.
"I thought I could hide it, you know?" Jared continued in a rush, trusting that Jensen would follow his train of thought. "It was just that once, right? I mean, I know she's not an oblivious girl, but . . ." Jared's breath came in choked up rattles. "I thought I could forget, but I couldn't, and she knew."
"Jared, man," Jensen said softly. "I'm sorry."
"She asked me to choose," Jared said in a strangled laugh. "She asked me to promise her it was over, and I couldn't do it, Jen. I couldn't promise it would never happen again."
Jensen didn't say anything, but Jared could picture it, how Jensen got very still, trying to keep his face a mask, and probably succeeding.
"Even if it never happens again, I couldn't promise her I wouldn't want it," Jared continued, stumbling over the words.
"How did she find out?" Jensen asked, his voice quiet.
"Don't know," Jared said. "I think she just knew."
Jared heard Jensen take a few deep breaths. "Fuck, Jay."
"Yeah," Jared said shallowly. "So we ended it. It's over."
"I'm sure you can talk to her . . ."
"No," Jared cut him off, his voice a little stronger, but still laced with pain. "No, she's right. I can't marry her if we want different things."
"She wants you," Jensen started.
"And I want you," Jared finished.
"You can still have her," Jensen said, a funny catch in his voice, like he hadn't heard what Jared had just said. "You can still fix this."
"And live a lie? No, Jensen. I can't do that to her, and I can't do that to me, and I can't do that to you, either."
Jensen didn't say anything. Hell, he probably didn't know what to say.
"I understand if you don't want this, Jen," Jared said. He laughed a short laugh. "Hell, I shouldn't have done this over the phone, but I wanted you to know before the rumor mill cranked up to full gear."
Jared heard Jensen take a deep breath. "Jared," he said. "It's okay."
"Is it?"
"Yeah. Well, not right now, but it will be."
"God, Jen. I've got that breakfast thing tomorrow. I need to go up on stage and tell them. I need to tell them it's over."
"You don't."
"Yeah, I do. They'll find out soon enough anyway. I'd rather be the one to break the news."
"That's going to suck," Jensen said with total conviction, and Jared could hear the horror in Jen's voice at the thought of getting up on stage in front of a bunch of fans and making that announcement.
"Jim will be there."
"Good. At least you'll have an ally in the trenches," Jensen said, sounding a little easier. He paused for a heartbeat. "Wish I could be there to back you up."
"Yeah, me too," Jared paused. "I still care about her, Jensen," he said, his voice sounding choked again.
"I know, Jared. I know."
"But I, you know, you too."
And there it was, the blatant truth.
"Yeah, Jay. Me too," Jensen answered softly.
"What am I going to do?" Jared asked. And he felt so alone and miserable that he was sure Jensen could hear it in his voice.
"You're going to take it one step at a time," Jensen said, firmly. "You're going to face the ravening horde tomorrow, make it through the rest of the summer, then go back to Vancouver."
"Vancouver," Jared said, and his voice was filled with a kind of longing. "I never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait to get back there." Jared was surprised to find he really did feel that way. Canada was different from the rest of the world, at least for him. When they were up there working they lived in a kind of isolated cocoon, wrapped up in the show and the long hours and each other until nothing else seemed real.
"You can't wait to be stuck seeing my ugly mug every waking minute?" Jensen asked, teasing.
Jared snorted a laugh. "For some strange reason, I miss your ugly mug."
"Miss yours too," Jensen said softly, and Jared felt something loosen in his chest.
"The thing is, Jen, when she asked me, I could imagine not seeing her again. I knew it would hurt, but I could live with it. I didn't feel the same way when I thought about not seeing you again."
"Yeah," Jensen said, agreeing, and Jared suddenly knew deep in his gut that they were on the same page. At the end of the season, after living in each other's back pockets for nine solid months, he was happy, no, thrilled to take a break from Jen-- for a full day or so. After that there was an empty hole in his chest that only seemed to fill a little when he heard Jensen's voice.
"Listen, Jay. Just take it one step at a time, lean on Jim, and get through tomorrow. The rest will sort itself out."
"I know," Jared said, feeling a little lighter, a little freer, almost liberated.
Jared heard someone calling to Jensen.
"Shit. Jared. I've got to go."
"Okay. Tell me to break a leg."
"Break a leg. Don't forget. I've got your back, man."
"Thanks, Jen. I'll catch you later."
~~
Jared found an out of the way corner, flipped his phone open, hit speed dial, and waited until Jen picked up. "Jensen?" Jared asked, a smile in his voice. "Why is your family here?"
"Umm, they live there?"
Jared snorted. "Not Dallas, you idiot. The con."
Jared could hear the answering smile in Jensen's voice. "Don't know. Maybe you should go up and ask them."
"You called them." It wasn't a question.
"What makes you say that?" Jensen answered, and Jared could hear the smile in his voice.
Jared laughed. "You didn't have to, but thanks, man."
"Any time, Jay."
~~
Jared turned onto his street and Sadie and Harley perked up, getting restless, smelling the familiar scents. He pulled into his driveway, shut off the engine, and turned to the back seat. "You guys glad to be home?"
Sadie's ears swiveled, listening to him but looking toward the house eagerly. Harley completely ignored him, eyes focused on the car door, back-end wagging like crazy. Jared laughed. "I'll take that as a yes." He climbed out and opened the door, stepping out of the way quickly so he wouldn't be barreled over by two exuberant dogs. They raced up to his front door and stood waiting. He laughed again and felt a little of the stress and sorrow he'd been feeling lift. He was back home.
They hadn't talked about it, not really, he and Jen. Not that they would anyway, but figuring out where they were going from here, if anywhere, wasn't something they could do over the phone. They needed to be in the same city for that to happen.
Jensen was flying in tomorrow.
Jared felt his stomach tighten at the thought-- part nerves, part anticipation, and mostly joy.
"C'mon, guys," Jared said, unlocking the front door. "Let's get moved back in."
~~
Jared ran through the early morning fog-- legs pounding the pavement in a steady rhythm, heart pumping, sweat trickling down his chest and back, lungs expanding and contracting, the morning dampness clinging to his hair. He felt alive, maybe for the first time in a month.
He checked his watch. Jensen's flight arrived in two hours. He ran along the loop going back to his house. He had enough time for a shower and breakfast before heading to the airport.
~~
Jared paced around baggage claim and stopped briefly to check the arrivals board again. Jensen's flight had arrived. He was here-- here in Vancouver, here in Jared's space.
Maybe even in Jared's life.
Not that it would all be figured out next to baggage claim number three, but still.
Jared took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. This was all so stupid. It was just Jensen, his best friend, a guy he'd known for years.
Except now there was the possibility they would be more than that.
Or maybe not.
Jared stifled a groan of frustration and fought the urge to scrub his hands through his hair.
He tried to focus on today, the present, and not think too much about what might happen tomorrow.
Or tonight.
But, the one thing Jared knew about himself was that he was a guy who had hope, and he couldn't help thinking about tomorrow.
He scanned the crowd coming out of customs and felt a grin split his face when he caught his first sight of Jensen. He was striding forward before he even realized he'd given his legs the command, long steps eating up the space between them. "Jen!" he called out, happiness infusing his voice.
Jensen's eyes found his, and Jared's breath caught in his throat, because, goddamn, Jensen looked good-- hair tinged with blonde, freckles standing out on his face, stubble gracing his jaw line, those green, green eyes crinkled in a warm, genuine smile.
They sort of crashed into each other, catching each other up in a rough hug.
"You made it," Jared said.
"You've bulked up," Jensen answered.
Jared laughed and pulled away. He shrugged. "Had to spend my time doing something."
"I guess," Jensen said easily, but his eyes were searching, looking deep.
"I'm okay," Jared said softly.
Jensen looked for another moment, then a sort of tension left his shoulders. "Yeah," he said. "You are."
Jared grinned, feeling lighter than he had in who knew how long. "Let's get your bags and get out of here."
"Lead on," Jensen said, grinning back, and suddenly it was like the world righted itself.
They talked as they waited for the luggage, sharing stories about what happened on their film sets, teasing each other about press releases-- Jensen being billed as a young Steve McQueen, Jared getting cut on the forehead with that fake movie glass.
It was effortless. After a few minutes it was like they'd never spent the summer apart. But then, it was always like this. They fell back into each other with an ease that was surreal.
Jared looked with dismay at the pile of luggage around them. "Do we need one of those carts?"
Jensen snorted. "Use some of those muscles, Gigantor." He picked up three of the bags, leaving the other four to Jared, and threw a smirk over his shoulder as he walked toward the exit.
"Yeah, thanks for that!" Jared called after him with exasperated fondness as he juggled the remaining luggage, but he was grinning, suddenly filled with a bubbling kind of happiness.
They were loading up the back of the car when Jared impulsively said, "Come over tonight? After you unpack?"
Jensen grinned at him. "Absolutely."
~~
"Damn, that was good," Jensen said, setting the take-out carton on the coffee table. He snagged his beer, propped his feet up on the coffee table, took a big swig, then let out a contented belch.
"Hmmm," Jared murmured in agreement, taking a big swallow of his own beer. He leaned back against the deep cushions of the couch and let out a sigh. "We need to enjoy this. It's back to the old grind in a few days."
"I know," Jensen agreed.
"Madden?" Jared invited.
"Oh, hell yeah," Jensen said, reaching for the game controller. "I'm so going to kick your ass."
"Bring it on," Jared laughed, getting up to put the game in.
The funny thing was, they hadn't talked about it, hadn't made a move, hadn't done anything to resolve the issue of them, but it was like they were both waiting for something, not in a weird kind of way, but in an expectant kind of way. At least Jared was. After a few minutes of playing he risked a glance to the side, taking in Jensen's face, screwed up in concentration, and smiled.
"What?" Jensen asked, mashing the buttons on his controller.
"Nothing," Jared said, and returned his attention to the game.
Later, after Jared had totally kicked Jensen's ass, they put in a movie and settled in, sitting close enough to bump shoulders. Jared felt his eyelids sliding shut for the fifth or sixth time and jerked them open. He looked over and saw that Jensen was out like a light, beer in danger of tipping out of his slack hand.
Jared forced himself to move. Yeah, the couch was big, but not that big, not big enough for both of them to sleep on it all night. He pushed himself up, gently took the beer out of Jen's hand, turned off the TV, and shook Jensen's shoulder. "Jen, wake up."
"Jay?" Jensen said sleepily.
"Listen. Why don't you stay here?"
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I think my couch misses you."
"Okay," Jensen agreed, and stood up, starting to take off his jeans.
"You know where the blankets are." Jared said, heading for his bedroom. Then he turned and took a fortifying breath. "Unless you want to come in the bedroom with me."
Jensen suddenly didn't look at all sleepy. In fact, he looked at Jared with a speculative gleam in his eye. "You sure?" he asked again, but holy shit, this time his voice was low and husky, a sound that went straight to Jared's cock.
"Yeah," Jared said, shivering, and turned to walk to his room. He stopped by his bed, back to the door, and crossed his arms in front of him, grasped the hem of his shirt, and lifted it off over his head. He felt more than heard Jensen come up behind him, then one of Jen's arms wrapped around him low around his waist, the other higher up over his chest, and Jensen fitted himself to Jared's back. He pulled Jared back against him, taking some of his weight, and rested his chin on Jared's shoulder. "We can just sleep," he offered.
Jared turned to face him, looking at the way the moonlight lit the hollows and planes of Jensen's face. "We can sleep," he said with conviction. "Later." He reached up with one hand, cupped Jensen's jaw, and bent his head until their lips brushed.
"Jared," Jensen breathed, then moved one of his hands up to cup Jared's skull and pulled him down closer.
Their lips met again, firmer but still soft, and Jared groaned at the feeling of Jensen's body against his, Jensen's lips meeting his, the light flick of Jen's tongue against his lower lip. He reached out with his own tongue to touch, just the tip, as his hands moved around to Jensen's back, working their way up underneath his shirt to feel warm skin over hard muscle, and felt Jensen shiver against him.
"Fuck," Jensen groaned, pushing closer, close enough that Jared could feel his erection through the denim.
"Yeah," Jared panted. He pulled back, suddenly needing to be naked and on the bed, wanting to feel Jensen next to him, on him, all-the-fuck over him. "C'mon." He started in on the button on his jeans, working it open, fingers going to the zipper, then stopped, because Jensen had tugged off his shirt, and the way the moonlight lit his face was nothing compared to how it lit his chest-- the shadows and light highlighting smooth, strong muscle, shallow dips and curves, the hard nubs of his nipples.
He watched as Jensen shucked his jeans and socks, how he stood proud and naked, erection jutting up from the dark patch between his legs.
Jesus. Jensen was beautiful. So beautiful that Jared's breath caught in his throat, because this was happening, this was his to touch and taste and love.
Then Jensen's fingers were covering his, helping him get out of his own pants. He stepped out of them, toed off his socks, and laughed when Jensen shoved him back on the bed. Jensen crawled on after him and settled in, easing their bodies together.
Jared stopped laughing.
Instead, he curled his hand around Jensen's head and pulled him down into another kiss, letting this one get deep and dirty, his cock twitching when Jensen groaned and moved his hips, lining them up, hard cock against hard cock.
"Shit, Jay," Jensen said, breathing into his mouth.
"Yeah," Jared agreed, reaching down to grasp Jensen's ass, tugging him close, feeling the firm muscles tense and release as Jensen moved against him. He pushed up, rubbing, and latched onto Jensen's mouth again.
Jared could feel it building way too quickly, a mind-blowing release just a few thrusts away. He tried to slow things down, tried to draw it out, but then Jensen did something that pushed him over the edge, such a simple thing-- Jensen reached up, pulled the pillow out from underneath Jared's head, and tossed it to the floor.
For some reason, Jensen moving him, positioning him like that, putting his body the way he wanted it, curled deeply into Jared's belly, pushing him toward the edge.
"Jensen," he gasped, thrust up once, twice more, and his balls drew up tight, his cock spurting between their bodies as waves of pleasure washed him over and away.
From a distance he heard Jensen groan, "God, Jay," and had just enough presence of mind to hold him through his own release.
They lay tangled together, panting, aftershocks running through both of them. Jared cleared his throat experimentally then said, "Oops."
Jensen snickered against his neck. "Oops, what?"
"Oops, that was fast."
Jensen laughed lightly and lifted his head, giving Jared a long, lingering kiss. "Fast, but good."
"Yeah," Jared agreed, kissing Jensen again.
Jensen yawned and rolled to the side, reaching down and snagging Jared's discarded shirt from the floor. He mopped up the worst of the mess and said with a smirk, "We'll work on your stamina next time."
Jared punched him in the arm. "I seem to recall that you were right behind me, you asshole."
Jensen laughed and rolled back on top of him. "Okay," he murmured against Jared's lips. "We'll both work on our stamina next time."
"Agreed," Jared said, smiling, and wrapped his arms around Jensen's back, keeping him close.
~~
Three weeks of shooting, three weeks of working crazy hours, three weeks them catching sleep when they could, and Jared still woke up right before the alarm went off. He'd gotten into the habit because Jensen didn't wake up pretty, especially if there wasn't any coffee made. He untangled himself, shut his alarm off, then padded to the bathroom. He let the dogs out before making his way to the kitchen to start a pot brewing. Ten minutes later he heard Jensen's alarm go off, and the answering groan.
Jared grinned.
Jensen came stumbling bleary-eyed into the kitchen. "Coffee," he croaked.
"Good morning!" Jared said brightly, just to get a reaction.
"Oh, fuck you," Jensen grumbled. He snagged his coffee cup out of the cabinet and held it out, still half asleep, swaying on his feet.
Jared obligingly filled his mug before topping off his own. He watched as Jensen took his first sip, then another, consciousness returning with every taste of caffeine. "Car will be here in half an hour," he reminded Jensen.
"I know, I know," Jensen said. He took his cup with him as he headed to the shower.
Jared smiled, let the dogs back in, and followed.
Jensen had just adjusted the water temperature and stepped underneath the spray when Jared entered the bathroom. He stepped out of his pajama pants and climbed in, the double showerhead letting him wet his hair without dislodging Jensen from the hot water. He reached for the shampoo and was scrubbing his head when he looked over and saw Jensen, leaning straight-armed against the wall, letting the spray pound over his head and neck.
"I think you should move in," Jared said out of the blue.
Jensen straightened up and turned his head, blinking shiny droplets of water out of his eyelashes. "What?"
"I think you should move in. You practically live here anyway."
Jensen narrowed his eyes. "Are you serious? I'm a grumpy ass in the morning."
Jared snorted a laugh. "Tell me something I don't know." He stretched back, rinsing the shampoo out of his hair, then leaned forward and wrapped Jensen in his arms, pulling him close. He rubbed his cheek against Jensen's, liking how their stubble caught and rasped. "I like your grumpy ass in the morning. C'mon, Jen. Move in with me."
"You're serious."
"Yeah."
Jensen looked at him warily. "You know it isn't fair springing this on me when I'm only half awake."
Jared grinned. "Why do you think I asked now? I don't want you over-thinking this."
"You want me to move in."
"Yes."
"You want us to live together."
"Yes."
Jensen looked up at him, his eyes suddenly awake and alert. A smile lit his face. "Okay," he said in his slowest, sexiest Texas drawl.
"Hey!" Jared protested. "No fair using that voice on me. Not when we've got to be ready in fifteen minutes."
Jensen smirked, stepped out of Jared's arms and back underneath the water before reaching for the soap. "We'd better get going, then. We can start moving my stuff in this weekend."
"Yeah?" Jared asked, eyes serious.
"Yeah." Jensen answered, just as serious, then he laughed a happy laugh and pulled Jared's head down for a kiss.