(no subject)
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
I absoultely adore that song. It's words have meaning, and mostly, they mean something to me. I would have loved to be whatever it is you needed me to be. I would have loved feeling like nothing in this world could stop me. I would love to never be scared of what happens next. And most of all, I would love to never have any doubts or regrets. I've made some major mistakes in my life, most of which i still think/remeber on a daily basis. I've lost friends, family, loves. And though, inspite of the fact that I would love nothing more than to erase all these painful memories...they have shaped me. I'm guarded, I'm shy, I'm scared. And this is the point where I sit and watch the cursor blink, because now, I am at the point of what i say may potenially show who I really am. If i let people too much in, I have the potential to get hurt. Forgive my meaningless thoughts, they are only internal ramblings. I remeber when i felt like this, I used to pray. I haven't prayed in so long. I prayed for Mark, and even then, my prayer was sooo half-assed. I've cut myself out. And at the same time, I can't get myself to want to change. Le sigh. And this is the point in my rambling..that I hate myself. I can't even think right.