Giant Update!

[fearthemullet]

Hmmm, where to start... well, I left off with my sis's wedding last September, so I'll go from there. Since then, I have celebrated my one year anniversary working at the law firm, and last month I took the LSAT and got a 159. So now, I'm gathering applications for law school! Pretty crazy, huh

Comments

[kdsorceress]

I'm not going to say that a relationship between a 28-32 year old and a 17-21 year old is necessarily a good thing, or something anyone should look for. But first off, while age of consent laws vary from state to state, most states consider you legally allowed to have sex around sixteen, and in some places as young as fourteen. (There are only eight states in the US that have 18 as the age of consent.)

Secondly, it can work. Like I said, I won't reccomend it. But the last two relationships with men I've been in have been with guys who are more than a decade older than me --I'm almost nineteen, and my current boyfriend is 31. My last boyfriend was 35 (and that ended because of age differences, but not what you'd expect --mentally and emotionally, he was WAY younger than me. I couldn't take it anymore)

I'm not saying it's true love and me and my boy are going to be each other's happily ever after. But we're happy now, and in many ways, it's the strongest relationship I've ever had. He's old enough that he's not embroiled in all the stupid drama that people my age are constantly having, and more importantly (and I realize how pretentious this sounds) he's on the same mental level as I am. I've always been better able to communicate with people older than I am, I just tend to get greatly frustrated by the stupid things people my age say and do.

So, I'm not saying that a relationship with a decade or wider age gap can work out, or should be pursued. I'm not saying that the one that you're referring to was functional or healthy or anything like that. I am saying that, with just the information given, it is possible that it works.

Sorry for the long comment. This is just one of those things that really bothers me when people speak against it without information on how the relationship worked. (not saying that you don't have that information, just that you didn't especially present it here)

((Although, rereading what you wrote, if you didn't know her ex was her older, next door neighbor until after the two of you had broken up, I can see some problems. Current boyfriends do not need a detailed history of every ex, but they should at least get the basics. And, of course, the standard "if she was lying to you, she was probably lying to him as well"))

~Sor

[fearthemullet]

Heh, thanks for the comment. And I am glad to hear you've had success with older men, because I wouldn't like to think that a relationship like that were impossible. See, the detail about it she DID share with me is that they were only officially together for about 2 out of the 4 years; the other combined 2 years was full of "bullshit" (her word). So, basically this guy swept in on a high schooler and fucked her up in the head. I never stood a chance.

And yeah, I'm in NY, which is one of those states where having sex with an under-18er is a no-no (unless you're within years, which he obviously wasn't). Since I'm on the way to lawyerhood, I'm obligated to get angry about it. :)

[kdsorceress]

Ahhhh.

Yeah, well, that's all different. And I feel sorry for her, because no one should be fucked up in the head by someone else, especially not someone who they would expect to trust.

Also, oooo, lawyer. I didn't know you were going to be a lawyer! That is pretty cool.

~Sor