(no subject)
I left tumblr today without telling anyone. Partly because I wanted to see if anyone noticed or cared, partly because it's making me do bad in school, partly because I don't want to bother people with my problems anymore. I picked up smoking today. It will kill me faster. I want to die. I want to die now. The only thing keeping me alive at this point is the fact that I don't want to be selfish. I don't want my mom to have to deal with my death. I don't want her to know anything is wrong so I'll still go to school and act like everything is okay. I thought last night that I would wake up happy and everything will be okay again but I'm not happy and nothing is okay. Everything is wrong and I'm sick of living, just like my mom is. She is so unhappy with her life so why should I bother bettering mine? In the end we all die cold and angry and alone. There is no point to life. There is no god. There is no afterlife. There is nothing.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.