my life is a tornado of misguided choices and mistakes
So my sister graduated this weekend, sunday actually. It was a nice, but boring ceremony. Me, my dad, my mom and my other sister were there as well as both sides of grandparents. Afterwards we had a huge dinner and got drunk and etc. Anyway, my sister has a friend from her college, shes my age, extremely beautiful and sweet. When I met her the first time she came to my house with my sister my jaw dropped. We had small talk, little conversations but it was nice, I made her a copy of a rare nirvana cd i had. Anyway, im rambling, but I was instantly attracted to this woman.
Fast foward to a few months ago, my sister calls my dad and tells him that she has a secret, but cant tell him, then calls him back and tells himw hat it is, that her friend said she likes me. I think this is wonderful of course, but i cant just outright tell the girl because im not really supposed to know in the first place. Anyway, so i sit on it and not do anything about it. I go down to my sisters college and visit for a night, got drunk and got to talk to her friend a little one on one again. We flirted and i told her how much I loved her smile(its amazing). Yet again, nothing happened because im way too shy and it would be weird to pull a move in my sisters dorm.
So she came along with my sister for the graduation party, I couldn't contain how happy I was. I stayed by her side basicaly the whole day, talking to her and flirting. We kinda connected, yet i cant really speak for her cuz im just basing this all on my experience. I thought it was wonderful communication. By the end of the night, we were all completely trashed, i couldnt even see. Now my entire family knows I like this girl, and have been making comments all night, as is their custom. My dad shouts out at like 2am and were all smoking in the kitchen "Why dont you two just hook up and get it over with? youve been looking at eachother all googely eyed all night" Now im extremely embarrased, and i could see she was too, maybe that meant she actually wants me? I dont know, I cant really tell. I told her how gorgeous i thought she was at the bar, but she mightve thought i was just drunk and spitting jibberish
needless to say, nothing happened sunday night. We all went to bed, and she left the next morning with my sister. The kicker is she went back to seattle, where shes from, today. I doubt ill be able to talk to her for the rest of the summer and ill have to wait till august until she returns to nyc, when i might even be in boston at the time, putting further distance between us.
I've been really sad thinking about it, knowing that im extremely lonely and i wouldve been doing backflips if i was even able to kiss this girl. I wasnt thinking about sex at all, all i wanted to do was touch her lips. I kept staring into her eyes when i talked to her, i couldnt keep my eyes off them, id get fucking lost. But, aint shit i can do about it now, i just have to take it as the one i let get away. But to be honest, im kinda glad nothing happened when we were drunk, because i want to attempt to kiss her sober. I dont want alcohol to spoil the moment, im such a sucker for romance, but who knows she will even go for it. Its such a difficult situation
im gonna shutup cuz ive already wrote an enyclopedia, but i cant get this out of my head. Everything else is fine, waiting a response from northeastern and starting the summer work. Our fourth of july party is going to be insane, as always. But i cant help but wonder how much better it would be if she was at the party, and id be able to share the experience with her.
ah so this is my life, an existentalist paradise of right and wrong choices, and a lifetime full of reflection on those choices.
Fast foward to a few months ago, my sister calls my dad and tells him that she has a secret, but cant tell him, then calls him back and tells himw hat it is, that her friend said she likes me. I think this is wonderful of course, but i cant just outright tell the girl because im not really supposed to know in the first place. Anyway, so i sit on it and not do anything about it. I go down to my sisters college and visit for a night, got drunk and got to talk to her friend a little one on one again. We flirted and i told her how much I loved her smile(its amazing). Yet again, nothing happened because im way too shy and it would be weird to pull a move in my sisters dorm.
So she came along with my sister for the graduation party, I couldn't contain how happy I was. I stayed by her side basicaly the whole day, talking to her and flirting. We kinda connected, yet i cant really speak for her cuz im just basing this all on my experience. I thought it was wonderful communication. By the end of the night, we were all completely trashed, i couldnt even see. Now my entire family knows I like this girl, and have been making comments all night, as is their custom. My dad shouts out at like 2am and were all smoking in the kitchen "Why dont you two just hook up and get it over with? youve been looking at eachother all googely eyed all night" Now im extremely embarrased, and i could see she was too, maybe that meant she actually wants me? I dont know, I cant really tell. I told her how gorgeous i thought she was at the bar, but she mightve thought i was just drunk and spitting jibberish
needless to say, nothing happened sunday night. We all went to bed, and she left the next morning with my sister. The kicker is she went back to seattle, where shes from, today. I doubt ill be able to talk to her for the rest of the summer and ill have to wait till august until she returns to nyc, when i might even be in boston at the time, putting further distance between us.
I've been really sad thinking about it, knowing that im extremely lonely and i wouldve been doing backflips if i was even able to kiss this girl. I wasnt thinking about sex at all, all i wanted to do was touch her lips. I kept staring into her eyes when i talked to her, i couldnt keep my eyes off them, id get fucking lost. But, aint shit i can do about it now, i just have to take it as the one i let get away. But to be honest, im kinda glad nothing happened when we were drunk, because i want to attempt to kiss her sober. I dont want alcohol to spoil the moment, im such a sucker for romance, but who knows she will even go for it. Its such a difficult situation
im gonna shutup cuz ive already wrote an enyclopedia, but i cant get this out of my head. Everything else is fine, waiting a response from northeastern and starting the summer work. Our fourth of july party is going to be insane, as always. But i cant help but wonder how much better it would be if she was at the party, and id be able to share the experience with her.
ah so this is my life, an existentalist paradise of right and wrong choices, and a lifetime full of reflection on those choices.