the triumph of the human spirit!
Last week, all I could do was complain about the Olympics to people, and talk about how much I really didn't care about them, and resented them for taking away my shows (specifically, The Office, because OMG Jim & Pam 4EVA!). Now, of course, I can't get through a night without watching, and getting extremely invested in, some obscure winter sport I don't understand. I have such faith in confident, faceless voices - I think I'd be a good candidate for a visitation from on high - and as a result, I so completely trust the announcers on any given sport, even though for all I know, they've just been pulled off the street and know no more about the sport than I do. When they get all righteously upset and disagree with the judges, I get all upset too, even though I have no idea what an inverted 940 is or what the objectives are when it comes to any of the winter sports (other than, of course, going really fast and cheating death).
King Kaufman has been writing about the Olympics in his column over at Salon.com, and, as usual, I heart him for his wit and insight and the way he closed yesterday's column:
Hench-items
~Did you see that snowboarder named Gary Zebrowski? If you didn't, did you picture a black Frenchman from Tahiti just now? Because that's what he is.
~"Coming up," came the announcement just before a commercial break, "we'll take a closer look at an athlete who truly embodies the Olympic spirit."
Just once, I'd like to get a closer look at an athlete who's anathema to the Olympic spirit. "Up next, a profile of a guy who's all about the Benjamins, hates foreigners and thinks the Olympics are a big joke. But he's really fast."
~Speed skater Chad Hedrick, who became the first American gold medalist of these Olympics Saturday when he won the 5,000 meters, is a 50-time world champion in-line skater. You can't hear two sentences about the guy without hearing that one.
Fifty-time world champion? What? Do they name a new world champion every two weeks in that sport? Is every competition a world championship? Are there no regular-season matches? I ask these rhetorical questions rather than bothering to find out the answers, about which I couldn't care less.
I want to meet the athlete anathema to the Olympic spirit, too.
Speaking of the traditional Olympic spirit, and embracing it - I am one of those people most faithful, true Olympic fans hate. Because you know those cheesy human interest stories true Olympic fans get annoyed about, because it's about the SPORT, man, the COMPETITION? Yeah, I love those. They are completely, 100% effective on me, even while I can consciously recognize how trite and blatantly manipulative they are. I CAN'T HELP IT. They make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me root for random countries I have no previous allegiance to.
There don't seem to be as many this year! Is it just me, or is that the case?
In other news: Happy Valentine's Day! I hope every single one of you had a lovely day.
King Kaufman has been writing about the Olympics in his column over at Salon.com, and, as usual, I heart him for his wit and insight and the way he closed yesterday's column:
Hench-items
~Did you see that snowboarder named Gary Zebrowski? If you didn't, did you picture a black Frenchman from Tahiti just now? Because that's what he is.
~"Coming up," came the announcement just before a commercial break, "we'll take a closer look at an athlete who truly embodies the Olympic spirit."
Just once, I'd like to get a closer look at an athlete who's anathema to the Olympic spirit. "Up next, a profile of a guy who's all about the Benjamins, hates foreigners and thinks the Olympics are a big joke. But he's really fast."
~Speed skater Chad Hedrick, who became the first American gold medalist of these Olympics Saturday when he won the 5,000 meters, is a 50-time world champion in-line skater. You can't hear two sentences about the guy without hearing that one.
Fifty-time world champion? What? Do they name a new world champion every two weeks in that sport? Is every competition a world championship? Are there no regular-season matches? I ask these rhetorical questions rather than bothering to find out the answers, about which I couldn't care less.
I want to meet the athlete anathema to the Olympic spirit, too.
Speaking of the traditional Olympic spirit, and embracing it - I am one of those people most faithful, true Olympic fans hate. Because you know those cheesy human interest stories true Olympic fans get annoyed about, because it's about the SPORT, man, the COMPETITION? Yeah, I love those. They are completely, 100% effective on me, even while I can consciously recognize how trite and blatantly manipulative they are. I CAN'T HELP IT. They make me laugh, they make me cry, they make me root for random countries I have no previous allegiance to.
There don't seem to be as many this year! Is it just me, or is that the case?
In other news: Happy Valentine's Day! I hope every single one of you had a lovely day.