U.C.S.
Date: February 9, 2006
Time: 6:00 PM
Event: Unidentified Cat Sighting
So, I was sitting there in the recliner, eating frozen yogurt out of the cardboard pint container, as I have been known to do, thoroughly enjoying the last five minutes of a particularly excellent episode of Seinfeld ("A George divided against itself CANNOT stand!"), when what do I see mosey across the kitchen, not twenty feet away from my spot in the recliner?
A HUGE BLACK CAT!
Now, you may be asking yourself, why is this significant? After all, my LJ formula would probably be something like:
40% Complaints About School/Work
25% Cat Talk
20% Random Family Stories
14% Jibbering About TV/Movies
1% Actual Insight
I talk about my cats a lot. But! THIS WAS NOT ONE OF OUR CATS! This was (is!) a totally random, additional, heretofore UNKNOWN member of our household!
He ran into the basement before I could catch him, and I found myself standing at the top of the stairs, staring into the darkness of the basement, wondering: Did this really just happen? Did it? WTF?
Within about ninety seconds, I had completely convinced myself that I was hallucinating (I so would not stand up under any of those psychological tests where they show a group of people a square, and everyone says it's a circle, and they measure how long it takes the lone non-experiment-participant to cave in and say it's a circle too. I am nothing like Jean Luc "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" Picard, in other words). I called my father on his private line just in case, and had the following conversation:
Dad Unit: HELLO.
Self: Uh, hi, Dad. Can you talk?
DU: YES.
Self: Did you, say, let any cats in the house today? Any additional cats? Say, a black cat?
DU: A black cat?
Self: I could swear I just saw him in the kitchen, but I thought maybe I was just imagining -
DU: A black cat.
Self: Yes, a black cat.
DU: ...You know, I think I might have seen him too.
Self: Really? Today?
DU: Not today, a couple of days ago. In the morning. I thought I was seeing things. Also, it was dark.
Self: Oh my God, how long has he BEEN here?
DU: I don't know!
Self: They have been eating a lot of food lately.
A random black cat! Hiding out in our house! Right now, in our basement! I should go catch him, I guess, but I don't know! What if he has rabies? I know I am obsessed with rabies. Also, I don't know what to do with him! I don't want to kick him out. It's cold out there! Obviously he needs someplace warm to be!
RANDOM BLACK CAT! How long have you been here? Where are you going? Are you rabid? How the hell will I find you again? Is there an unknown point of entry to our house for cats? Is there an unknown cat army in the basement? Do they have demands? Will I be able to meet them? So many questions. So few answers.
More news as it develops. Right now: HOMEWORK!
Time: 6:00 PM
Event: Unidentified Cat Sighting
So, I was sitting there in the recliner, eating frozen yogurt out of the cardboard pint container, as I have been known to do, thoroughly enjoying the last five minutes of a particularly excellent episode of Seinfeld ("A George divided against itself CANNOT stand!"), when what do I see mosey across the kitchen, not twenty feet away from my spot in the recliner?
A HUGE BLACK CAT!
Now, you may be asking yourself, why is this significant? After all, my LJ formula would probably be something like:
40% Complaints About School/Work
25% Cat Talk
20% Random Family Stories
14% Jibbering About TV/Movies
1% Actual Insight
I talk about my cats a lot. But! THIS WAS NOT ONE OF OUR CATS! This was (is!) a totally random, additional, heretofore UNKNOWN member of our household!
He ran into the basement before I could catch him, and I found myself standing at the top of the stairs, staring into the darkness of the basement, wondering: Did this really just happen? Did it? WTF?
Within about ninety seconds, I had completely convinced myself that I was hallucinating (I so would not stand up under any of those psychological tests where they show a group of people a square, and everyone says it's a circle, and they measure how long it takes the lone non-experiment-participant to cave in and say it's a circle too. I am nothing like Jean Luc "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" Picard, in other words). I called my father on his private line just in case, and had the following conversation:
Dad Unit: HELLO.
Self: Uh, hi, Dad. Can you talk?
DU: YES.
Self: Did you, say, let any cats in the house today? Any additional cats? Say, a black cat?
DU: A black cat?
Self: I could swear I just saw him in the kitchen, but I thought maybe I was just imagining -
DU: A black cat.
Self: Yes, a black cat.
DU: ...You know, I think I might have seen him too.
Self: Really? Today?
DU: Not today, a couple of days ago. In the morning. I thought I was seeing things. Also, it was dark.
Self: Oh my God, how long has he BEEN here?
DU: I don't know!
Self: They have been eating a lot of food lately.
A random black cat! Hiding out in our house! Right now, in our basement! I should go catch him, I guess, but I don't know! What if he has rabies? I know I am obsessed with rabies. Also, I don't know what to do with him! I don't want to kick him out. It's cold out there! Obviously he needs someplace warm to be!
RANDOM BLACK CAT! How long have you been here? Where are you going? Are you rabid? How the hell will I find you again? Is there an unknown point of entry to our house for cats? Is there an unknown cat army in the basement? Do they have demands? Will I be able to meet them? So many questions. So few answers.
More news as it develops. Right now: HOMEWORK!