beth march wannabe
I came into work at 9AM this morning and wrote "I need a Diet Coke IV drip. That's the only way I'm going to get through this morning. Clearly."
I now feel quite proud because I have made it through the morning sans carbonated IV drip and have even done a bit of work. I have also stared blankly into space a lot, and annoyed three people on the phone by making them repeat their names five times (it's something about this phone, I think, or maybe I'm losing my hearing -- let's go with the phone), and puzzled over a mysterious file folder that I'm supposed to put away. Have no idea where it's supposed to go so I keep picking it up and staring at it, as if the answer is going to come to me if I just stare at the folder really, really hard.
Nope, not working.
Oh, I hate it when I do this. I think of something I want to note down in LJ, and then open up the Update Journal window, get distracted by something and write a long paragraph about it (like, say, the mysterious file folder above), and get so totally absorbed in it that the original reason for the update has vanished. Annoying!
Oh! I remember! It's really not that interesting. I've been clicking around, reading this 10 Formative Books meme in different people's LJs, and they're all interesting and fascinating and impressive. I've sat here for a while trying to come up with my own answers, but I'm having a brutal time of it. For someone who spent most of her childhood and young adult life reading, I certainly don't have much to show for it. I guess my third grade teacher was right -- I shouldn't have spent all that time reading The Baby-Sitters Club books.
Oh well. What's done is done. But I do have to wonder if I'm the only person in the world who's never read The Chronicles of Narnia or anything by J.R.R. Tolkein.
One book that has popped up a lot on people's lists is Little Women, which I have read! And I read all of the sequels too. I loved that book to pieces, and have seen the three film adaptations -- wait, am I lying? I think I saw the Kate Hepburn version, but am not positive. I know for a fact that I saw the horrid June Allyson version. I can't forget that even if I wanted to. And I loved the recent one with Winona Ryder.
Anyway, Little Women: Loved that book. And I've actually often wondered how much of my personality and place in life is explained by the fact that the character I identified most with when reading the book wasn't Jo, but Beth. Who died! What does this say about me? Perhaps just that I was adolescent and morbid (possible). But the thing I remember most about Beth I'm not even sure came directly from the book -- I'm remembering it most from the 1994 movie, which came out at the tail end of my Little Women obsessive phase. There's a part where Beth says that she doesn't understand why people want to leave, that she loves home, and that the hard part of growing up had been other people going away. And that has always been me, for better or for worse. Especially at the age I was when I was very into Little Women.
I also think there's probably something in there about wanting to be liked more than wanting to be respected or admired -- because the one thing Beth always had was everyone's affection, in one way or another. Also, I was shy as a kid, just like Beth, and her bewildered admiration of Jo's ability to come up with crazy ideas and go through with them was something I recognized from my friendships, because until I got to college, I was always drawn to these forceful, outgoing personalities that allowed me to fade into the background. During and after college, not so much, and though I don't have a good job or many other tangible accomplishments to show for my four-year degree, I am happy about how it made me maybe a little more like Jo.
Also: I'm aware that it's more than a bit ridiculous to spoiler cut-tag for Little Women, but, well, better to cut tag too much than too little. All of this reminds me of the Friends episode where Joey reads Little Women and Rachel reads The Shining (I think?), which Joey keeps inadvertently spoiling Rachel for, and Rachel finally gets so annoyed with it that she responds with, "Oh yeah? BETH DIES!" and Joey gasps in this huge, horrified, hilarious way.
Ack, the headache I woke up with this morning is back. Must go find something to make it better. Perhaps Diet Coke? I'm convinced it cures (almost) all that ails you.
I now feel quite proud because I have made it through the morning sans carbonated IV drip and have even done a bit of work. I have also stared blankly into space a lot, and annoyed three people on the phone by making them repeat their names five times (it's something about this phone, I think, or maybe I'm losing my hearing -- let's go with the phone), and puzzled over a mysterious file folder that I'm supposed to put away. Have no idea where it's supposed to go so I keep picking it up and staring at it, as if the answer is going to come to me if I just stare at the folder really, really hard.
Nope, not working.
Oh, I hate it when I do this. I think of something I want to note down in LJ, and then open up the Update Journal window, get distracted by something and write a long paragraph about it (like, say, the mysterious file folder above), and get so totally absorbed in it that the original reason for the update has vanished. Annoying!
Oh! I remember! It's really not that interesting. I've been clicking around, reading this 10 Formative Books meme in different people's LJs, and they're all interesting and fascinating and impressive. I've sat here for a while trying to come up with my own answers, but I'm having a brutal time of it. For someone who spent most of her childhood and young adult life reading, I certainly don't have much to show for it. I guess my third grade teacher was right -- I shouldn't have spent all that time reading The Baby-Sitters Club books.
Oh well. What's done is done. But I do have to wonder if I'm the only person in the world who's never read The Chronicles of Narnia or anything by J.R.R. Tolkein.
One book that has popped up a lot on people's lists is Little Women, which I have read! And I read all of the sequels too. I loved that book to pieces, and have seen the three film adaptations -- wait, am I lying? I think I saw the Kate Hepburn version, but am not positive. I know for a fact that I saw the horrid June Allyson version. I can't forget that even if I wanted to. And I loved the recent one with Winona Ryder.
Anyway, Little Women: Loved that book. And I've actually often wondered how much of my personality and place in life is explained by the fact that the character I identified most with when reading the book wasn't Jo, but Beth. Who died! What does this say about me? Perhaps just that I was adolescent and morbid (possible). But the thing I remember most about Beth I'm not even sure came directly from the book -- I'm remembering it most from the 1994 movie, which came out at the tail end of my Little Women obsessive phase. There's a part where Beth says that she doesn't understand why people want to leave, that she loves home, and that the hard part of growing up had been other people going away. And that has always been me, for better or for worse. Especially at the age I was when I was very into Little Women.
I also think there's probably something in there about wanting to be liked more than wanting to be respected or admired -- because the one thing Beth always had was everyone's affection, in one way or another. Also, I was shy as a kid, just like Beth, and her bewildered admiration of Jo's ability to come up with crazy ideas and go through with them was something I recognized from my friendships, because until I got to college, I was always drawn to these forceful, outgoing personalities that allowed me to fade into the background. During and after college, not so much, and though I don't have a good job or many other tangible accomplishments to show for my four-year degree, I am happy about how it made me maybe a little more like Jo.
Also: I'm aware that it's more than a bit ridiculous to spoiler cut-tag for Little Women, but, well, better to cut tag too much than too little. All of this reminds me of the Friends episode where Joey reads Little Women and Rachel reads The Shining (I think?), which Joey keeps inadvertently spoiling Rachel for, and Rachel finally gets so annoyed with it that she responds with, "Oh yeah? BETH DIES!" and Joey gasps in this huge, horrified, hilarious way.
Ack, the headache I woke up with this morning is back. Must go find something to make it better. Perhaps Diet Coke? I'm convinced it cures (almost) all that ails you.