beware, porcelain god
Breaking news: I broke the toilet.
Not, blessedly, by sitting on it. Though I have developed a nasty candy-cane habit and my stint as a receptionist upped my time-spent-sitting-on-my-ass quotient a great degree, my girth has not gotten such that it is a danger to bathroom fixtures. But! Apparently I do not know my own strength. All I wanted to do was flush the toilet! And I BROKE it! The inside of the handle thingy, that is. I cracked it! I so felt like Clark Kent first realizing his superpowers. "Able to break plastic rod toilet fittings with a single flush!"
Now in order to get it to work, one must pry off the back and lift the rod manually. Fun times! I tried to repair it with a Band-Aid already, proud of myself for thinking of such a MacGuyver solution, but. Well. It kinda didn't work. Which is why I'm a sucky MacGuyver.
In other news: Have finished up receptionist's assignment and now again join the ranks of the unemployed. My last day was crazy busy, with lots of insane phone calls. None from the local psychiatric facility like yesterday, but I did have my suspicions about one: A man called, said that he was a neurosurgeon who had just had his hands severed by a city bus and was looking for an attorney for a potential lawsuit. Turned out to be one of the Boss Attorney's friends, and there was laughter all around.
The Big Boss ATtorney at the firm I just finished up at is rather known around these here parts as a rather skeevy defense attorney. Meaning, he fights hard for his guy and is the one you want in your corner should you be put in such a situation, but on a personal (and often professional) level, he's kind of an asshole. I got to witness this firsthand as he engaged in a battle with another local attorney, also of the skeevy persuasion (he did a will for a wealthy woman and when it was read, he and his children were in it and got bunches of money), via the mail. Which I was to open as part of my duties. Lots of tossed barbs, like "I have never spoken ill of you behind your back. Nor have I lied about you, except for when in the past clients asked me what I thought of your professional abilities. I'll be honest from now on" (from Mr. Will) and "[Mr. Will] has never even won a case!" (from Mr. Big Boss) and "This is WAR!" (Mr. Will). It was very exciting.
On my way into work today, the guy in the parking garage gave me a Christmas gift for paying for monthly parking. This was very nice since I didn't pay for parking at all and have only been there nine days. And the gift was truffles! Should I have handed them back because I don't deserve them? I argue that it was the beginning of the workday and it would have been doing greater disservice to humanity by handing the bag back and tying up the line of cars for the parking garage. The more difficult question: Why did I not tip him on my way out, after getting the gift in the morning? I was probably supposed to! And I didn't. I suck. Oh well. He'll never see me again.
The people at the temp job were very nice to me, complimented me muchly. They all remarked at my speed-reading. I wonder if they were trying to make a not-so-subtle comment that I shouldn't have been stealth reading books in the first place, but hey! I asked permission! I got the all-clear! Anyway. Mr. Big Boss came out at the end and wished me well and it's funny, no matter how many times he called me "Dear" and "Sweetheart", my Asshole-O-Meter wouldn't stop ding-dinging. YOu know how some people do that? No matter how overtly nice they are to you, you know there is assholeness lurking beneath the surface? Whereas another big partner, Mr. Decent Boss, was not quite as overtly friendly but gave off much more of a worthwhile-human-being vibe.
In other news: I need to get a new hairdresser. I went on Wednesday and she spent a solid ten minutes bad-mouthing attorneys in general. Saying that they're all crappy individuals, that she's probably known one in her whole life who was a decent individual, that they've got to basically be an asshole to go into the field and I just sat there, horror-struck, trying to hedge around her comments, all "Well, it's a very difficult job," etc etc, without blurting out "I know plenty of nice attorneys! Like, say, MY FATHER!" But I knew that would make her feel horribly awkward and so I couldn't.
But still, it annoyed me! And also she's expensive, and I have to pay for parking, and I don't really like how she cuts my hair anymore, and that was just The Last Straw. Don't be dissing my Dad! I will stop using your services! I am just that much a badass.
Anyway. I'm absolutely distraught over the Firefly cancellation, but I won't dwell on it here. That's an LJ entry for another day.
Not, blessedly, by sitting on it. Though I have developed a nasty candy-cane habit and my stint as a receptionist upped my time-spent-sitting-on-my-ass quotient a great degree, my girth has not gotten such that it is a danger to bathroom fixtures. But! Apparently I do not know my own strength. All I wanted to do was flush the toilet! And I BROKE it! The inside of the handle thingy, that is. I cracked it! I so felt like Clark Kent first realizing his superpowers. "Able to break plastic rod toilet fittings with a single flush!"
Now in order to get it to work, one must pry off the back and lift the rod manually. Fun times! I tried to repair it with a Band-Aid already, proud of myself for thinking of such a MacGuyver solution, but. Well. It kinda didn't work. Which is why I'm a sucky MacGuyver.
In other news: Have finished up receptionist's assignment and now again join the ranks of the unemployed. My last day was crazy busy, with lots of insane phone calls. None from the local psychiatric facility like yesterday, but I did have my suspicions about one: A man called, said that he was a neurosurgeon who had just had his hands severed by a city bus and was looking for an attorney for a potential lawsuit. Turned out to be one of the Boss Attorney's friends, and there was laughter all around.
The Big Boss ATtorney at the firm I just finished up at is rather known around these here parts as a rather skeevy defense attorney. Meaning, he fights hard for his guy and is the one you want in your corner should you be put in such a situation, but on a personal (and often professional) level, he's kind of an asshole. I got to witness this firsthand as he engaged in a battle with another local attorney, also of the skeevy persuasion (he did a will for a wealthy woman and when it was read, he and his children were in it and got bunches of money), via the mail. Which I was to open as part of my duties. Lots of tossed barbs, like "I have never spoken ill of you behind your back. Nor have I lied about you, except for when in the past clients asked me what I thought of your professional abilities. I'll be honest from now on" (from Mr. Will) and "[Mr. Will] has never even won a case!" (from Mr. Big Boss) and "This is WAR!" (Mr. Will). It was very exciting.
On my way into work today, the guy in the parking garage gave me a Christmas gift for paying for monthly parking. This was very nice since I didn't pay for parking at all and have only been there nine days. And the gift was truffles! Should I have handed them back because I don't deserve them? I argue that it was the beginning of the workday and it would have been doing greater disservice to humanity by handing the bag back and tying up the line of cars for the parking garage. The more difficult question: Why did I not tip him on my way out, after getting the gift in the morning? I was probably supposed to! And I didn't. I suck. Oh well. He'll never see me again.
The people at the temp job were very nice to me, complimented me muchly. They all remarked at my speed-reading. I wonder if they were trying to make a not-so-subtle comment that I shouldn't have been stealth reading books in the first place, but hey! I asked permission! I got the all-clear! Anyway. Mr. Big Boss came out at the end and wished me well and it's funny, no matter how many times he called me "Dear" and "Sweetheart", my Asshole-O-Meter wouldn't stop ding-dinging. YOu know how some people do that? No matter how overtly nice they are to you, you know there is assholeness lurking beneath the surface? Whereas another big partner, Mr. Decent Boss, was not quite as overtly friendly but gave off much more of a worthwhile-human-being vibe.
In other news: I need to get a new hairdresser. I went on Wednesday and she spent a solid ten minutes bad-mouthing attorneys in general. Saying that they're all crappy individuals, that she's probably known one in her whole life who was a decent individual, that they've got to basically be an asshole to go into the field and I just sat there, horror-struck, trying to hedge around her comments, all "Well, it's a very difficult job," etc etc, without blurting out "I know plenty of nice attorneys! Like, say, MY FATHER!" But I knew that would make her feel horribly awkward and so I couldn't.
But still, it annoyed me! And also she's expensive, and I have to pay for parking, and I don't really like how she cuts my hair anymore, and that was just The Last Straw. Don't be dissing my Dad! I will stop using your services! I am just that much a badass.
Anyway. I'm absolutely distraught over the Firefly cancellation, but I won't dwell on it here. That's an LJ entry for another day.