(no subject)
So i've hit a self realization point
i hate what ive become since last year
it sickens me- to look back and see how much ive changed
and not for the good either.
my life has become boring.
everyday- the same thing.
wakeup.shower.work.
cigarette.home.homework.
cigarette.volleyball.cigarette.class.
cigarette.
cigarette.home.myspace.sleep.
i hate the fact that i've become a bigger flake, and this time i have reasons.
i cant keep promises.
life for me has become this tedious task of just living.. but not really living.
i hate the fact that i smoke now just to feel good, or at least to feel something.
makes sure that im real,and still living.
i cant get a grip on this growing up thing.
its not my style.
and the sad part is that- im boring
i want my old life back
where i was always at a constant state of happiness.
this whole "this is the real world sweetheart" makes me hate things even more.
i hate the fact that ive become so judemental
i hate the fact that i dont even care about anything anymore
i hate the fact that i have to listen to voicemails just to keep myself updated on my best friends life.
and it sucks because she is having more fun than me.
going to college was supposed to be fun
i've barely made friends, but i guess its because of my lack of trying.
i havent even bothered to actually hang out with anyone since Nicole left.
i guess this is growing up.
life isnt all fun and games, nor will it ever be, at least it seems.
i miss ... my old life.
i hate what ive become since last year
it sickens me- to look back and see how much ive changed
and not for the good either.
my life has become boring.
everyday- the same thing.
wakeup.shower.work.
cigarette.home.homework.
cigarette.volleyball.cigarette.class.
cigarette.
cigarette.home.myspace.sleep.
i hate the fact that i've become a bigger flake, and this time i have reasons.
i cant keep promises.
life for me has become this tedious task of just living.. but not really living.
i hate the fact that i smoke now just to feel good, or at least to feel something.
makes sure that im real,and still living.
i cant get a grip on this growing up thing.
its not my style.
and the sad part is that- im boring
i want my old life back
where i was always at a constant state of happiness.
this whole "this is the real world sweetheart" makes me hate things even more.
i hate the fact that ive become so judemental
i hate the fact that i dont even care about anything anymore
i hate the fact that i have to listen to voicemails just to keep myself updated on my best friends life.
and it sucks because she is having more fun than me.
going to college was supposed to be fun
i've barely made friends, but i guess its because of my lack of trying.
i havent even bothered to actually hang out with anyone since Nicole left.
i guess this is growing up.
life isnt all fun and games, nor will it ever be, at least it seems.
i miss ... my old life.