Contentment
I can't sleep. Everything in my life is going so right yet so wrong. I would have thought that with the things I have I would be forever happy. I have a girl who is amazing, a place more or or less to my own, a few friends who are all interesting people who are great to hang out with.
But I am not. Surprisingly I feel out of place like I am missing out on what my life should be...or who?. I feel like I don't fit in and I don't belong. If you don't know the feeling I am talking about you wont understand but it is somewhat like being all dressed up for a special event when you are used to jeans and a tee shirt. You are happy to be at the event and it is fun to be there but it just is not the ordinary, what you are comfortable with.
I am happy but I don't feel like I belong. I miss my humble friends. I miss my own humbleness. You get so caught up in the world around you, problems that are pointless. A few pairs of old pants, a clean shirt or two, a small room that can only hold your bed, family...these are things that I need, things that I have forgotten. These are things so many people lack.
It is not about money or what/who you have. Enough to live. I think that to have a happy life a person only needs enough to maintain life. A person does not need a bunch of material things to satisfy his/her craving for happiness. Material things cloud happiness. Just being alive makes me smile. It should not matter what I have so long as I i'm alive. And to help other people be alive.
Some days I wish I could live in other people's shoes for a day, to see what it would be like. To see how it would be to live in third world countries, to be homeless, to be starving. I think everyone could take a lesson from a day in others shoes...so we can see how well we have if it. Clean water, food, own homes and comfortable beds, jobs that pay well enough that we can afford things that are unnecessary to our survival. We have it great yet I think we, as americans, our some of the least satisfied people ever.
You could claim that it is because we are more ambitious. Look at things in our life, on tv. They sell crazy super mattresses for people who cant sleep. Why? because they are over stressed and over worked and over obsessed with next thing they can buy. Wake up america. Look at what we have. The point of life is not to work and it most certainly is not to hoard material things. The point of life is to live. Work to live and work so that others can live. Work to be the best you can be but don't work till you lose all your life and wake up 55, retired, rich, but unable to walk, unhappy with your family, and basically half dead.
Enjoy who you are and if you don't enjoy who you are change who you are. The material crap about you are not going to effect whether you are satisfied with yourself. Learn to appreciate the sunrise and the sunset, the stars, the moon, the trees, everything. Even things that seem so ordinary like plants cause with out them we would die. Appreciate the wind and the rain and the clouds and everything that we take for granted. You never know, one day they may be gone. It will be a sad day when we have to explain to our grandchildren what a tree looked like and what it was useful for knowing they have missed the point of a tree. To be beautiful in content in what it is. Even sadder days pass by us because even though trees are still around them we don't notice them. And like our grandchildren we ask the point of them. Just like ourselves, we ask what is the point of us, to be alive. And that is the point, to be alive, beautiful, content. I don't believe there is any other point to life other then these except perhaps to be faithful to God but this all depends on your own faith and ideals. I am pretty sure God wants us to be happy, and beautiful, and content. Not to find disappointment in what we don't have but to find happiness in what we got.