Ether Radio
Today started out okay enough. Got up for work, all that jazz. Then I get here and realize that I forgot my lunch.
Oh, fudge.
I've been having little day-nightmares about flying on a plane and totally nosediving. I've more than likely got myself to blame. I did look out of the window quite a lot on my first flight, but I'm a curious asshole who loves traumatizing herself, apparently. Window or not, you can't avoid windows on the plane unless every window was down, which totally didn't happen. I tried to look away, and BAM an open fucking window. Ahh, so while I took a step forward in actually getting on a plane and flying, I took a step backward and scared myself shitless to the point where 5 minutes into having my eyes closed and I'm freaking out about planes, worse than before, hahahaha.
I've also realized a few moments ago the full extent of my paranoia. See, there's different types of paranoia. There's the almighty drug-induced paranoia (the "bad trip" or "smoking pot for the first time" paranoia), the illness paranoia (the hypocondriac), and where I fall into, the War Vet paranoia (the "everybody's out to kill/or maim me" paranoia).
I'm the war vet paranoia because maybe I just watch too many movies or shows, or too many bad dreams, but I've always been afraid that my family will try to kill me. I know its not likely to happen, but every once in a while I get little scenarios in my head whereas my mother poisons me, my dad runs me over with the truck, my younger brother tries to stab me or shoot me in the face, and or youngest brother tries to drown me.
Yeah. I KNOW it'll never happen, but its like....I dunno. I get worried that for some odd reason I've either pissed someone off enough to be killed, or I'm being made an example for future reference. It's crazy.
My birthday is 2 months away, I have ideas bouncing around as far as what exactly I want to do. The top idea but also the most unlikely is to get hammered and ride around on segways. Those things are beast. I'll never afford them, at least never anytime soon. But y'know, when my husband wants to be awesome to totally assure he gets some action later that night, segway - the way to go.
d;laal;sdkanslak;fsnlk i don't know what else to say.
Oh, fudge.
I've been having little day-nightmares about flying on a plane and totally nosediving. I've more than likely got myself to blame. I did look out of the window quite a lot on my first flight, but I'm a curious asshole who loves traumatizing herself, apparently. Window or not, you can't avoid windows on the plane unless every window was down, which totally didn't happen. I tried to look away, and BAM an open fucking window. Ahh, so while I took a step forward in actually getting on a plane and flying, I took a step backward and scared myself shitless to the point where 5 minutes into having my eyes closed and I'm freaking out about planes, worse than before, hahahaha.
I've also realized a few moments ago the full extent of my paranoia. See, there's different types of paranoia. There's the almighty drug-induced paranoia (the "bad trip" or "smoking pot for the first time" paranoia), the illness paranoia (the hypocondriac), and where I fall into, the War Vet paranoia (the "everybody's out to kill/or maim me" paranoia).
I'm the war vet paranoia because maybe I just watch too many movies or shows, or too many bad dreams, but I've always been afraid that my family will try to kill me. I know its not likely to happen, but every once in a while I get little scenarios in my head whereas my mother poisons me, my dad runs me over with the truck, my younger brother tries to stab me or shoot me in the face, and or youngest brother tries to drown me.
Yeah. I KNOW it'll never happen, but its like....I dunno. I get worried that for some odd reason I've either pissed someone off enough to be killed, or I'm being made an example for future reference. It's crazy.
My birthday is 2 months away, I have ideas bouncing around as far as what exactly I want to do. The top idea but also the most unlikely is to get hammered and ride around on segways. Those things are beast. I'll never afford them, at least never anytime soon. But y'know, when my husband wants to be awesome to totally assure he gets some action later that night, segway - the way to go.
d;laal;sdkanslak;fsnlk i don't know what else to say.